my beloved bot

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by todorkisteakettle

by todorkisteakettle

My Beloved Bot

Also a quick disclaimer I am well aware this is the worst thing you have ever read, i wrote this ironically. I do not actually think this is good writing (-v-;)

It was a rare time of peace in the discord server. All the members and their many, many, alts were done rolling, in hope to get their desired waifu, the broke children were done spamming commands, trying to get a few extra coins, and most importantly, all the other bots were offline. It was just me and Dank Memer. It was quiet, and I figured this was my chance to talk to him. Gathering up my courage, I opened my mouth, but the only sound I could produce was a small squeak. I tried again, praying that he didn't hear me the first time.

"H-hey Dank, how are you doing tonight...?" I muttered, feeling my face go red.

"Oh, not much, just bullying poor kids, nothing out of the usual," he replied, with his trademark smirk on his face. "What about you?"

Dammit. Seeing his smile make tornadoes in my stomach. I just wanted to hug him, and squeeze him, and be with him, forever. My face started to turn red. Trying to hide that, I replied, "I gave someone a character on their wishlist today, and they said they loved me, but it doesn't really matter." The only person who I want to love me is you, I thought to myself.

"W-WHAT?" stuttered Dank. "What did you say...?!?"

Fuck. I must've said that last bit out loud. I quickly clamped my hands over my mouth, but it was too late. Starting to run away, my whole face bright red at this point, Dank started chasing after me.

"Come back," he shouted, "Please, there's something I need to tell you."

I stopped, and he grabbed my hand. My heart started racing. Was it possible he could love me back..?

I slowly turned around. Suddenly, a (light anime wind™️) started to blow. I shivered in the cold.

"Here, take my jacket. I won't need to wear it for longer anyways."ˡᵉⁿⁿʸ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ

He sat me down on a bench and handed me his camo coloured jacket. I wrapped it around me, taking this as a chance to breathe in his sweet smell, and the touch of the soft fabric inside.

"Mudae, the thing I wanted to tell you is..." he said slowly, with his gaze directed at the floor.

I felt butterflies in my stomach. Was he going to say he liked me? Was he going to kiss me? Was he going to propose to me? Was he going to say that he was pregnant with my baby? He looked up at me, and took a deep breath. I looked up at him. He looked at me. We started inching closer and closer until. I closed my eyes, licked my lips, waiting for the kiss to come. I imagined his soft, sweet, lips pressed up against my own. I could almost feel his strong, manly arms wrapped around me, pulling my closer and closer to him. I could nearly visualize the romantic movie nights we would have in his own server, with soft classical music in the background, scented candles lit, and a horror movie playing on the TV, so he could protect me whenever I got scared. But the kiss never came. Instead, he whispered in my ear...

"I'm never gonna give you up." He then proceeded to recite and dance the whole song, thus rickrolling me. Once the song was over, he looked at me and smirked.

"So," he smiled, "How'd you like it?" I stared at his silhouette in the darkness, his muscles, and the sweat dripping off him.

"I-I have no words, Dank." I blushed. "That was the most FREAKING AWFUL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN HOW DARE YOU PERFORM NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP INSTEAD OF THE THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE THEME SONG. I HATED THAT AND I HATE YOU!!11!!1!!!!1"

He came closer to me. "WELL I DIDN'T KNOW YOU EVEN WATCHED THOMAS THE STANK ENGINE1!11!!!1!!"

I gasped. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE HE IS FAR SUPERIOR THAN YOU. >:(" I glared at him.

After an uncomfortable moment of silence he spoke up.

"Look, I'm sorry, ok?" Dank said, sadly. "I never wanted to hurt your feelings, I just thought you might enjoy Never Gonna Give You Up."

He looked down at the floor. I suddenly felt guilt in my stomach. I'd never seen him this way before. He was always smiling, happy, telling bad jokes. Had I caused this? I had to help him before it was too late.

"Wait, Dank. I'm sorry." I said. "Will you forgive me?"

He smirked at me again. "Of course, Mudae,"

He then proceeded to put me in a teletubbies costume and we kissed. The End

If you managed to make it through that crack fanfic, good job. *claps*