If We Love Again

Chapter 30

It’s A Yes

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only. Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms. So come on and give me a chance to prove I am the one who can walk that mile. Until the end starts.

—One and Only, Adele

• • •

        

        “… I’M STILL in-love with you.”

        I blink, trying to process everything he is saying.  I don’t want to act dumb and pretend I’ve misheard him. I don’t want to hurt him, too. Our eye contact is still, and I can tell that he’s anticipating for my answer.

        I take a deep, heavy breath and finally manage to find my voice to speak. “I’m sorry—” I say, but my words are cut off when I hear his laughter resonating through the entire coffee shop’s premises.

        “Christ, Zee! You’re still gullible and naïve as ever!” he exclaims, doubling over in laughter. “I was just joking!”

        I glower at him, but he continues laughing, not minding the menacing look I am giving him. “That’s not funny at all,” I say.

        It takes a minute for him to recover from the laughter. After going hysteric, he clears his throat and shoots me an amused look.

        I am used to his playful personality. He may be sweet, but he likes pulling prank on me back then. If I were still sick, I would have died out of heart attack with the stunts he had pulled. “Stop giving me that look!” I chide, but he doesn’t budge, the lopsided smile still remains on his lips.

        He slumps in his seat and crosses his arms. “It’s really fun teasing you.”

        If it were different people teasing me, I would have been lenient—I don’t have enough backbone to get mad over petty things, but if it’s Finn, my ire would rise. That is how comfortable I am with him. Nevertheless, Finn knows that my anger toward him won’t last long.

        “You haven’t changed, too,” I comment.

        “Of course I did,” he says confidently, “I’ve moved on after you hurt me.”

        “God, we’re still on that subject?” It makes me uncomfortable to think about our conversation moments ago, and that not-so-funny joke he pulled. Maybe I’m just imagining things, but for a second, I’d believed that he meant what he said.

        “Let’s talk about something else,” he says.

        He starts babbling about whatever he has in mind. I pretend to be interested, just so I could overcome the awkwardness.

          

• • •

        

        WE WERE on our 1st year of college when Finn and I finally overcame the awkward phase. We’ had acknowledged ourselves as each other’s fiancé/e.

        During my first month in college, I had difficulties adjusting to my environment. I was homesick. This wasn’t the place I was used to living; this was not my hometown. No matter how many times I think about home, I’ll only feel more lonely.

        I miss New York.

        I miss my friends.

        I miss Maxene.