Shock Treatment (A One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest Fanfic)

Emptiness

I had my own room in the ward, luckily, because I'm the only woman there. The room was empty, white walls made it even more empty. I woke up from a recurring nightmare of my past. I looked at the window and noticed it was still dark out, it must be very early in the morning or I had only a couple hours of sleep. I got out of bed, sat on the floor and curled myself into a ball. I can stay in this position for long periods of time because of my illness. According to Mrs. Ratched, I'm a little mouse hiding in a dark corner, she never called me a mouse, she refers to me as Miss. Gutman. 

I heard knocking on my room door.

"Miss. Gutman, time to get ready for the day."

That was the orderly Mr. Washington. After I got my patient uniform on, which consisted of a white thin long sleeved shirt and white sweat pants, I was let out of my room and into the lounge area where I saw one of the nurses giving out breakfast trays. Oatmeal, reminded me of the daily rations I used to eat. The ward is run sort of like a prison, I've been here for a month now, I came here voluntarily because I have symptoms similar to a soldier out of war, shell shock they call it. I wanna make it go away, so far, it hasn't really worked, but I'm a patient person. It takes quite a while to heal, it takes time. I saw Billy Bibbet, stutters his gentle speaking words, his lousy mother did this to him, the poor sweet young man, he's the only patient I always come to for anything, especially after group sessions. I sat by him, he looked like he was zoned out, maybe half asleep.

"Good morning Billy."

He quickly turned to me and smiled.

"G...g...good...good morning C...Clara."

"You sleep well?"

"Y..Yeah, you?"

"I had another nightmare."

His small smile was wiped off his face.

"C...Clara, I'm...I...I...I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, I ruin everyone's mood with my problems."

He gave me a side hug.

"N...n...n...no, don't s...s...say that. You...y...y...you're a...d...d...d...delight to have."

"Billy thank you."

I gave him one more hug before letting go. I saw Charley Cheswick walk to us with a tray.

"Morning everybody."

Cheswick is...how can I explain it, a child in a man's body. He can be pleasant at times but when you make him upset, he'll have a tantrum like a little boy pleading to his mother for a toy. Following behind him was Martini, a delusional young man, Taber, a potty mouth, Dale Harding, a smart mouth, and Chief, a gentle giant who can't talk or hear. Chief is usually closed off so he goes to the back of the room, I can't do sign language but I would ask a nurse for paper and pencil so we can communicate.

"Morning Clare bear," Cheswick said.

"Morning Charley, sleep well?"

"Yeah...yeah I did. Did you sleep good?"

"I slept fine."

"S...she...she ha..had an...other one," Billy said.

"Another what?" Harding asked.

"Bad dream?" Cheswick asked.

I nodded.

"About what?" Martini asked.

"Her shell shock Martini, she said she was forced to camp out for months away from where she grew up."

I chuckled at Cheswick's description of my months at a concentration camp. I looked at Chief who was eating by his lonesome.

"I'll be right back guys."

I got up and walked to the desk where Nurse Itsu was sitting.

"Miss. Itsu?"

She looked up and smiled.

"May I help you Miss. Gutman?"

"May I have a few pieces of paper to talk to Chief with?"

"Yes, I could lay out some on the table tomorrow just for you."

"Thank you."

She gave me some paper and a pencil. I walked to Chief. He looked at me as I sat across from him.

"Good morning Chief," I wrote.

He wrote back.

"Good morning Clare bear."

I was beginning to think almost every patient called me Clare bear, Cheswick started the whole thing.

"I assume you had another nightmare," he added.

"I did."

"Wanna talk to me about it, or in my case write about it?"

We smiled.

"It was the same dream I had for a long time."

He nodded.

"May I see your tattoo?"

I rolled my left sleeve up to reveal my now warped but readable number that was branded as a kid. It read: 92333.

"What does it mean?" He wrote.

"The Nazis would rather call the Jews by their number than their own names."

Yeah, Chief's someone I can come to as well as Billy. Nurse Ratched walked out.

"May I have your attention please, Miss. Gutman and Mr. Bromden come over here please."

I motioned for him to come with me, we walked to the table where the guys and Nurse Ratched was.

"I would like to inform you there will be a new patient coming later today, please make him feel welcome."

At that, she left.