Mirrored Thoughts

                                                      

Mirrored Thoughts

By Lola

Gi looked at herself in the never cleaned mirror. She saw a dry skinny face, lots of freckles, squared but skinny eyebrows and small almond eyes. She wished she could change these ugly futures, like how she looked like a 2nd grader even though she was in 7th grade. Constantly replaying the words people say to her.

"You're too short"

"Why are you short?"

"What grade are you in?"

"You don't look like a 7th grader"

"You're so cute and so small".

The fact that she had so many problems about herself made her sad and angry. She ran her finger on her nose watching and feeling how it curved right, then straight again.

She thought of the girls that went to her school and was jealous. She was jealous, because she thought they were all so beautiful and looked older than their age. She remembered how she stared at them when they walked by her, then realizing that she seemed like a creep. But she only looked at them because she thought that their make up was so pretty. She always wanted makeup but was too embarrassed to buy some.

She  listened as her family got ready for the day. The smell of mayo getting spread onto whole wheat bread her mom was making for herself and her. She remembers how hard it is to get up and get ready for her every morning. She wishes she could go back and sleep in her soft bed. Thinking that it's funny how when it's time to go to sleep, she never wants to or she can't but when it's time to go to school she wants to and her bed feels like it is made out of  clouds in the morning.

Her sister walked into the bathroom.

"Move" she said rudely,

"Go doblar la cama" (Go fold the bed) she added

She says that every morning, Gi thought to herself. Gi stayed in the bathroom.

Her and her sister shared the same room and the same bed. Her sister bosses Gi around every day. Even if she's the oldest. Gi's sister is taller than her and stronger and bigger. Gi's sister gets the straightener and starts straightening her hair. The room fills up with the smell of burnt hair. Gi thinks she does things because her sister doesn't like her curly hair but Gi always wanted curly hair.

 

She looked at her own hair and noticed how damaged and frizzy it was from all the bleaching. She always felt fat but others called her skeleton. Maybe it was because her clothes were too small for her. She examined her outfit while pulling her shirt down, for it won't show her belly and back.

These look like baby clothes, she thought.

She grabbed her backpack and went outside, feeling the cold air water her eyes, and the wind blowing her dry bleached blonde hair, that she absolutely hated.