Queen Of The Hills

Chapter IX

THE PALL OF GLOOM REFUSES TO LIFT

Vinita tenderly touched the cheeks of her daughter and continued with her story. In all the eight years that she had stayed away from Simmy, she had always been looking forward to the day when she would meet her girl and present her side of the story. And that moment had arrived now. Time did not matter to her while she explained her position nor it did to Simmy, who was eager to know. It was quite late in the night but no one wanted to move, knowing that they were both moments away from revealing or being revealed the final secret.

Vinita continued from where she left off, 'Two days later, Deepak along with his parents, visited my house. I was all agog with excitement. I felt that my Appa would have no qualms about accepting the marriage proposal from Deepak. After all it was a blessing in disguise for him that such a good looking and well placed man was asking for the hand of his daughter. Two birds with one stone it would be for him; firstly, he would get more than a good match for his daughter and secondly, by accepting the proposal, he had a chance to rid himself of the perpetual sense of insecurities that seemed to haunt him ever since I had grown up to be a woman. This was the gut feeling of a young and impulsive person like me who saw the world in black and white.'

'Just before they had arrived, I had informed my mother about my  friendship with Deepak, the soon to be visit of their family and the purpose of their visit. I had barely given her any time to ask any questions or even inform my Appa. I could always feel that she had a very strong liking for the impressive and sober-natured Deepak and hoped that she would stand up for my cause.'

'They sat in the living room of our house along with my parents. From my room inside, I could hear them indulge in small talk and there seemed to be an air of geniality all around. And then after some time Deepak's father popped the question. Suddenly there was a drastic change in the atmosphere!!'

' All traces of amiability disappeared from Appa's voice. After having gone silent for a while, he bluntly asked the caste and gotra of Deepak's family. And on being informed of the same; all of which was sounding gibberish to me; there followed a longer spell of stressful silence which hung in the air. Obviously the information provided by his father was not to my Appa's liking.'

'After that my father's voice assumed an air of impudence. The belittled guests finished the coffee served to them in silence. There was nothing more to discuss since Appa was answering only in monosyllables. Deepak and his family left in a hurry.'

'I will not bug you with the details of the aftermath of this ill fated visit of Deepak and his family. Appa was literally spewing fire and venom. My mother tried to intervene by trying to explain and Appa gave her a hard slap across her cheeks. I was summoned to the room. He did not lift a hand on me; perhaps he felt that his hands would be sullied by lifting a hand on me. Previously I felt that by growing up I had committed some grave mistake, now by being friendly with a boy, I had become a fallen woman and perhaps validated the worst fears that his sick brain harboured,' spoke Vinita with a lot of bitterness in her voice, ' It was all so cruel on me...so very unfair!!'

'Appa started yelling that he would never get me married to a person who had an army background, someone who had non vegetarian food and who drank alcohol and who was most probably a womanizer. It was as if all this was revealed to him through some divine sources.'

'But I was not as naive as he thought me to be. I knew that it had something to do with the caste or gotra or any such damn similar thing that Deepak belonged to. He was a sick man!'

'Needless to say that my curfew hours were extended further and even reinforced. Gone were the cycling sessions or meeting with friends. He would mumble that if I so badly wanted to get married, he would ensure that I would. I didn't have much time on my hands. My only outside contact with the world was my school hours, with the dropping and picking up done by my Appa.'

'Two days later my friend from whose house I used to call Deepak gave me a message. Deepak wanted to meet me at five in the evening at our frequented 'rendezvous point'. He knew that every friday my Appa would come home very late as he would visit a temple on that day, while coming home after office hours.'

'I managed to hoodwink my mother and reach the designated place on time. Deepak was already there. He reached out and held me firmly in his strong arms which gave me a lot of solace after days of turmoil. I broke down completely.'

'And then I opened up. I blurted out that there was no option left but for us to get married immediately since Appa was hell bent in marrying me off to any Tom Dick or Harry, out of pure spite for my act of indiscretion, as he saw it. I could not visualize any life without him and that I would die. I continued with my ranting while Deepak remained silent.'

'Finally he spoke. He expressed his unconditional love for me and understood my predicament. He said that though he had never ever expressed his love for me in words, I was all that mattered to him and that I was and would be the only woman in his life.'

'However what he spoke next was really shocking for me. He said that marriage done by us so hastily would only complicate the issue further. My Appa would make life miserable for my innocent mother. His old parents would also bear the brunt of his ire. Throughout their lives they had expected great things from him, being their only child. Even though they would always stand by him, there was no saying what such a shocking action on our part would do to them. Already they were smarting from the insults heaped upon them by my parents.'

'He said that he felt that a marriage solemnized after going against the wishes or well being of both the families would never be worthwhile; will never make anyone happy. It was definitely not feasible.'

'I was aghast. I felt like a Caeser betrayed by a Brutus. Here was I, throwing caution to the winds and surrendering myself unconditionally to the man of my life and here he was playing the game of prudence with me.'

'My dear Simmy, you are born out of me, my own flesh and blood and so have inherited the basic nature of mine. I have some serious flaws in my nature chiefly the fact that I am very hot headed and that I am terribly impulsive. These two traits have stood out like the heel of Achilles in my overall personality. I have seen these very traits in you. Please rein in these flaws for these have the potential to wreathe havoc in ones lives. All our virtues are left vulnerable by these chinks in our armour.'

'I was shattered by Deepak's words. All the injustices that had been heaped on me over the years suddenly overwhelmed me and his words became the trigger point. I SCREAMED AT HIM! I called him a coward no different from my father. I said that he had made fun of my emotions and only wanted to protect his own interests. He tried to reach out to me to comfort me, but I violently pushed him away. He spoke something but I was deaf to his words.'

'And then I got up and ran towards my house. He pleaded to me to return but I was driven by the devil. I think that is why he considered it best to let me leave. He knew I would be immune to any rhyme or reason at that time.'

'He called at my friends place wanting to meet me but I did not pay any heed. I was very very angry. To me he was nothing but a self seeker.'

'Finally Deepak's leave period ended and he had to go. Before going he made serious attempts to meet me through my friend but all that came to nothing. I was simply unapproachable. Thus  I had foolishly walked away from the love of my life through my impetuousness.'

'Within a month Appa hastily arranged and got me married off to your father. Your grandfather Kailash Joshi was a colleague of his and had retired from service and settled in Dehradun.'

'I was so eager to be free from my prison that I did not resist much. Not one thought came to me about my Deepak even on the day of my wedding.'

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