Impossible

Pity Party

Jessica had to admit that Edward Cullen was a decent lab partner. He wasn't clumsy and didn't spill dangerous liquids or set things on fire. He was effortlessly smart and solved for formulas without once doubting if he made a mistake. He always had the right answer and he looked infuriatingly bored with everything at the same time.

She refused to let him do all the work. She was in AP Chemistry too for a reason. Sure, she needed to double check her formulas and was extra careful during lab experiments but that didn't make him better than her. She wasn't going to just coast on his intelligence and take a grade she didn't earn.

Her parents had taught her the importance of a good work ethic. Her father never took a day off in his life, working overtime and even on holidays. He wanted to give them a good life and worked himself past breaking point until his heart finally gave up on him. She was in middle school and couldn't grasp how her father who she always saw as a man with enough strength and drive to conquer any hurdle thrown at him was defeated.

It terrified her. In ways she couldn't even tell anybody else. They would know what lay underneath her ambition and determination. And it wasn't anything pretty.

"Jessica," Edward said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Maybe I should do the formula for this one."

"No. You did it last time," she replied briskly. "I'll do the formula and you can do the actual experiment. You're better with the tools anyway."

He didn't say anything at first. He stared at her as she continued to recheck her formula. He could think her stupid or whatever. She didn't care.

"Okay," He acquiesced. "Whatever you say."

They worked quietly for a while. Edward turned on the Bunsen burner and hovered the test tube carefully over it with the clamp. The organic compound was white and looked like powder. It was taking a while to melt.

"Do you ever think about how people have melting points too?" Edward asked, sounding contemplative. "Metaphorically, of course. Everyone's got that moment where they're at the edge and they just want to give in."

"What brought on your existential crisis?" Jessica tried to joke, eyes never leaving the test tube. "Maybe you need to talk to someone, Eddie."

His gaze met her own and there was something like disappointment in them. "Do you know the story of how I was adopted?"

She heard rumors but never heard any of the Cullens actually speak about it. She had thought their family was very odd with the young couple adopting teenagers who were all dating each other. And no one was saying anything about it. The Cullen family's lives before Forks had been a mystery no one had been allowed close enough to try and solve.

"My birth parents died. We all got sick. It was some kind of flu. My father died first and then my mother," Edward didn't wait for her to reply and continued. "Before she died, she begged the doctor to save my life. He succeeded. Then, he decided to adopt me."

She didn't know what to say. What was she supposed to say to that? She had been one of the many that speculated and tried to sensationalize the Cullens for their otherness, not knowing what hidden tragedies they were keeping to themselves. If that was Edward's backstory, were his siblings' just as bad or worse?

"When I was sick, there was a moment I just wanted to give in," Edward looked away, swallowing. "My mother had left me and there seemed no real reason to go on."

"But?"

He met her gaze again, his golden gaze held a deep sadness that made her want to start crying. It was a loss she understood. She watched her father die in the hospital and buried him before Christmas. And nothing in the world made her feel better, only distracted her, even as the sorrow lurked underneath her skin for always.