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08:18
it was cold, cold and dark. he was soaking wet and so was his partner. but these made up the least of the things he was worried about right now.
he looked at the boy he loved so much. seungmin looked so pale. he looked like he was about to let everything go, let the wind take him and fly high.
hyunjin's boyfriend was barely holding on with his arms on the ledge of the bridge. he was so worried, stressed and sad that he could cry, his ear was ringing from shouting, from the vehicles rushing by, people passed by with their cars and wouldnt even bother to even spare a glance at him and his lover who was a tad bit too close to death. but then again, why would they?
he yelled, yelled and begged his lover to come down and so that he could engulf him in his arms. but the other didnt budge, he just... smiled.
seungmin smiled a very sad smile it made hyunjin want to throw up. he looked like he had lost all purpose, all reasons to live... or love.
after what felt like hours of consoling and convincing, seungmin finally looked like he was going to climb back up, into the stronghold of the other, he suddenly looked like he was ready to love again? why?
seungmin asked hyunjin to come closer, to kiss him. he wanted to know how hyunjin felt, the soft of his lips and the feel of his skin. for the last time, that is. hyunjin just cluelessly obliged.
dont blame yourself. i love you and forgive me.
hyunjin just stood. he stood and stared. taken aback, feeling betrayed, feeling anger, sorrow and sadness all at once like a thunderclap. he was helpless.
11:43
that night, seungmin's body was pulled out of the water. dead and cold.
03:25
hyunjin blinked twice. he felt tears as reality came crashing down onto the roofs of his room with no mercy, no sympathy. he cried again. he sobbed. he wailed. he screamed. he cried and cried and cried, to the point where he felt like his lungs were gone and life was about to be drained out of him.
then he stood up, made his bed, and he started humming a song. a song seungmin and him had been working on just weeks ago. the song he and seungmin had wrote. the song seungmin put his everything into. the song that was left unfinished at the end.
then he started laughing like the dumbest joke had been told to him... like seungmin used to, before he started getting into his moods. he laughed a cold, empty laugh.
hyunjin danced around. he smiled and laughed. he talked to himself. and smiled some more.
he looked at himself in the mirror. the disheveled state that he had been in. he smiled, his eyes empty. his favourite boy was gone. his favourite boy left him to rot. his favourite boy bid him goodbye in the most uncalled-for manner. his favourite boy left him in the cruelest way possible with a smile on his face, hyunjin recalled. he recalled on the smile seungmin had on his face right before the waves took his hand. he looked so peaceful, he looked so... happy.
hyunjin wanted to feel that too. he wanted to be peaceful. he wanted to leave. he wanted the wind to take him too. to his lover. to his boyfriend.
he snuck into his mom's bathroom. grabbed drugs from the cabinet. looked how many was inside.
"ah, i will sleep peacefully with this."
then he took them. got to bed.
he dreamt a little dream. he was in it. seungmin was in it. he was on seungmin's lap. seungmin was looking at him, smiling a genuine warm smile. they barely exchanged words. they just looked at each other yearningly.
"im so exhausted."
"i know. i will see you soon. goodnight, rest well. you deserve it."
hyunjin smiled again.
"goodnight to you too, seungmin."
that night, hyunjin saw seungmin again. seungmin held his hand. they flew. high.
11:43
that night, hyunjin's body was found in the room of the second floor of his home. dead and cold.
