I Play To Win

Out Of My Head

Emily was sitting on the floor in Hanna's house with the other girls, waiting to watch Alison make her interview with Caesar Flickerman as the tributes always did the night before the games begin.

They were all in silence watching the other tributes doing their interview, one by one. Some of them seemed kind of comfortable with the situation, answering the questions easily and others not quite. She didn't really cared though, for what they had to say. The entire time she could only think of Alison. To be more specific, she only thought of Alison since the girl had gone away. The games hadn't even started yet and she was more nervous than she had ever been in her life. Even though her girlfriend got an eight out of twelve in her training – and she couldn't even imagine how – she was afraid she was going to lose her. But she had to be strong and believe that everything was going to be fine.

When they called for Alison's name her heart stopped and her breath hitched in her throat at the sight of the blonde. Alison was beautiful, has always been, obviously. But now she was just stunning.

Because of the district, Emily figured, Alison was wearing all black. A long black wedding-like dress, and her all black makeup that made her icy blue eyes more icy that Emily has ever saw them, even though, they still had that warmth in them that probably only Emily could see. And she had a few black stripes in her hair. She walked in stage with a fierce look in her face, but Emily could see past that. She knew the blonde better than anyone. Even though the blonde tried her best to look fierce, Emily could see she was terrified and a little uncomfortable being up there.

"She looks amazing!" Hanna broke the silence that laid on the room for quite some time, the other girls agreeing with her.

"Yes, she does." Emily manage to say even though her gaze didn't left the TV screen.

The applause on the screen finally ceased when Alison was greeted by Caesar and they sat down. The first thing Caesar did was compliment how stunningly beautiful Alison was. Emily couldn't help but smile at sight of her girlfriend on screen. She did look very beautiful. Alison thanked him with a smirk on her face.

They made a small talk about how different the Capitol was from district 12 and what things Alison liked about the Capitol. Then he asked what Alison missed the most about home. Emily saw her facial expression falter for just about half a second, but she recovered her smirk faster than Emily could see.

"Well, Caesar" Alison started. "If I'm being honest with you, what I miss the most is actually some of the people back there." Alison stated and Emily couldn't help the weak smile that escaped her lips.

She knew Alison wouldn't just say to everyone in national television that she missed one person in particular more than most. But it was a fact that Alison had volunteered for her, so people would imagine that they had a very profound bond.

"I see." Caesar spoke in a soft voice. "Is there anyone in particular you miss most than the others?" He asked, waiting to get the right answer. She knew he was trying to get Alison to talk about Emily.

"Oh, you know" Alison started, and Emily could see how she did not wanted to talk about that. "Just family and friends." Emily knew Alison would not be able to talk about them without showing how much she cared for Emily. And Emily also knew that Alison thought that if people saw that, they would think she was weak. And Alison did not liked to be seen as weak.

"Yes, and what about that girl? The one you volunteered for?" Caesar pushed even more, and now Alison had no escape. Emily saw her face change very slightly again. "What was her name again?"

"Emily." Alison tried to seem indifferent about the subject, but of course, that wasn't possible. "Emily Fields."

"Can you talk to us about her a little bit?" He asked.

Emily didn't know if Alison was going to bitch slap the guy or just tell him she already said all he needed to know. By her surprise, Alison started talking about her.

"Well, she's my girlfriend. She's eighteen, just like me. She's the sweetest person that I've ever met, and I –" She stopped herself. She seemed to be wondering if saying the next thing would be a good or a bad idea. "And I love her very much." She finally said with a smile on her face.

Emily wanted to cry and hold Alison, but she couldn't. She couldn't cry because she promise she wouldn't after that afternoon Alison went to the capitol. And of course, she couldn't hold Alison because she was miles and miles away from her.

"Very good. She seems nice." He said sincerely. "Did you talk to her before you left?" Alison just nodded her head in response. "What did she said to you?" Emily thought the guy was pushing a little bit too far, and by the looks on Alison's face, she seemed to be thinking the same. But she answered him anyway.

"She said that she loved me, and that she would be waiting for me." Alison simply stated, giving a little summary of what they said to each other.

"And what did you said to her?" He asked softly.

"I said that we would find our way to each other, and that I loved her back." Alison said those last words looking at the camera. And Emily was glad for that because she could look into the blonde's eyes as she said that she loved her.

"Of course you did." He gave Alison a quick and soft hug right as the buzzer indicates the end of the interview. "Well, looks like our time is up. Alison DiLaurentis from District 12 everyone!" He says as Alison stands up and it's followed with hundreds of applause.

"She was really awesome there." Emily hears Spencer's voice in her back. She had forgotten that the other girls were there. Hanna and Aria had some tears in her eyes, all of them had. But Emily tried her best to cover hers.

"She really was." She agrees with Spencer. And she was really glad she was with her other friends as they join in for a hug.

"She's coming back." Hanna states with tears in her eyes. "She has to."

"And she will, Han. I know she will." She holds the blonde with tears in her own eyes.

She had to believe Alison was coming back. If she didn't believe that, she didn't believed in any other thing.