Life ended on a Thursday. It seemed unfair really, I had always liked Thursdays. They were almost Friday and didn’t carry the weight the rest of the week did. The sun was out, summer had just started. It was the kind of day that made you feel like anything was possible, like life was just beginning.
I had just gotten off work and I was going to run to the library. After all, I had some books to return and one on hold. My plan was to go home and spend some time with my book and a patio chair. I was tired of spending all my time in an office with the buzz of florescent lights. I deserved actual sunlight.
The closest branch of the library wasn’t far from where I lived, so I would be soaking up the rays in no time. As I drove I saw a little girl on the side of the road with her hands clutching the sides of her skirt while she twisted back and forth. How old was she? Four or five? Where was her mother? That girl was way too small to be playing in front of her house alone, or that close to the street. I kept my eye on the girl, positive that she would stay where she was. And she did, until she didn’t.
I slammed on my brakes. The tires screeched and all the various items that had found a home in my car went sailing forward. Bags, an empty water bottle, a Kleenex box, all shifted as my car strained against the momentum carrying me forward. My eyes were shut tight, but that didn’t stop me from hearing the dull thud of my car striking something.
Everything stopped. I sat there for a moment, breathing ragged, hands shaking, sure nothing had happened. After all, my car was old and that thud might have been something in the engine. My breathing slowed as I convinced myself that was it, the car probably wouldn’t start again because of whatever had come loose in the engine. But the car was still on, and my foot was still firmly pressing the break. And the little girl was no where to be seen.
I put my car in park and slowly pulled myself from the seat with the help of the door. My grip on the door did not falter as I took a couple small, shaky steps around it. It was only when I saw the blood that I released my car and stepped free. A few more steps brought me to my bumper.
There was so much blood.
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I hate to say it, but I was tired of my kids already. They had only been out of school about a week and I was ready for them to go back. I don’t know how teachers did it all year with that many kids. Finally, I had sent them all outside and out of my hair. I told the boys to keep an eye on their sister and watched as the door shut behind them and I felt like I could breathe again.
We should have stopped at one, I kept thinking. My husband doesn’t understand. He goes to work all day and I stay here and cook and mend scraped knees and pull gum out of hair. I love my kids, I really do. But sometimes I need them to be out of the house.
Once they were on their way I cleaned up the kitchen a bit, I cannot believe how much dirtier everything was when they were home all day! When the phone rang and it was another at-home mom I was glad, someone that would understand. Her kids were driving her a bit mad as well.
After a bit I looked up at the clock and I realized I should probably think about dinner. I cradled the phone with my shoulder and opened the fridge to gazed at what was unthawed. As I thought about what to make, my ear was filled with the fight her boys had gotten into, one even ended up with a black eye.
I hadn’t heard the kids in a while so glanced out the back windows. A squeal of tires ripped through the air and I froze. My heart paused when a scream filled the air. The phone fell from my hands as I ran though my messy, toy filled house into the front yard. There in the street was a stranger cradling something. No not something, my daughter. MY DAUGHTER. Everything was red. The screaming kept going and I realized that horrible sound was coming from me. I stumbled forward as everything slowed down. There was another stranger on a cell phone yelling, my boys came running to the front yard, I fell to my knees. I let out one final howl as the world turned black.
