Recovery (Until Dawn)

3. Vulnerability

"Are you okay?" Adrian piped up, a careful gaze fixed upon his friend. Beth let out a breath, staring at the ceiling. She'd been unusually quiet, just listening to him for the past half-hour, or, now he realized, perhaps only listening to her thoughts. He could recognize the actions, and a concern was rising in his chest.

She seemed to think on her words for a moment, gripping the lavender sheets of her bed in quiet contemplation, and perhaps frustration. "I..." Even in her attempt to speak, she seemed to be growing more irritated, unable to communicate her thoughts properly- perhaps not even knowing where to start. Tears were starting to well in her eyes as she sat up, sheets clenched tighter in her fists.

Oh. He could see what was going on. He wasn't used to seeing this in other people. He moved to sit next to her on the bed, abandoning his project on the desk. "Hey. It's okay. It's okay. Focus on one thing at a time. Don't big picture this, just focus on the parts you can understand." God, he hated seeing her like this. She didn't get like this, it was always him, and she would be there for him. He wanted so desperately to be there for her.

She was eerily still, eyes darting around as if looking for an invisible answer. He wrapped his arms around her; a pathetic attempt to ground her and show support. She eagerly accepted his touch, wrapping her arms around him in kind. If nothing else, he could tether her. "I... Josh." His mind raced, trying to solve the mystery to save her the effort of trying to explain. He hadn't seen his friend's brother in a while, perhaps a week, but he'd just assumed he was busy with work. Was there something wrong? "He... he's not okay and I- I don't know what to do," she admitted, her body shaking with a weak attempt to hold back her sobs. "He's not okay, and Hannah's still upset because she didn't know, and-and I don't know how to fix this."

God. How could he have been so blind? She'd been struggling with so much and she just... she was so focused on helping everyone else. Who was there to help her in all this? She was the youngest of the Washington siblings- only hours behind her older twin- and yet she was acting the eldest and caring for the others, as well as him. Parts of him from before wanted to bury everything, to blame himself for being just another burden on his shoulders, but the rational parts of him knew that if he was too much, she would've said.

None of it mattered, anyway. Because here she was, finally asking him for help. She was finally being vulnerable- really, truly vulnerable- and seeking his help.

"Hey, it's okay. Beth, it's alright. I... it'll be okay." God, why couldn't he just say something else? Be more helpful? He wasn't used to being the one people went to, but she was asking him. She trusted him. He needed to prove her right. "Right. What do you need? Do you need help, comfort, or a place to vent?" He'd spent months rehearsing what he should've done before, now was his time to use it.

"I-I think... I think vent," she admitted, her sobs easing just a bit as rational thought was pulling her from the overwhelming wave of emotions. "I... I just haven't been able to tell anyone. I... I think I just need to talk."

The two pulled away from each other, hands still maintaining contact as to not entirely dismantle the tether they created with their touch. "Alright." He nodded. "Hit me up, little lez."

...

He stared at the house a few yards away, hands nervously clutching the steering wheel in front of him. Another deep breath, the biting cold of the AC filling his lungs. He didn't want to do this. Well, he did, but he was terrified. If he didn't turn off the car yet, he could pretend he just needed to turn around, didn't know whose home it was, and could escape.

Fuck. But he promised Glenn he would reach out. He needed to reach out, he didn't like the loneliness that came with isolation. Sure, he had Josh, but that wasn't healthy. He hadn't healed enough from last time to properly care for someone without sacrificing his wellbeing. He needed someone else.