After meeting Chris's parents I realized how non realistic they could be, but in all fairness they were in public and I was being non realistic myself. When Chris told me that is parents knew about me dating him I always wondered how his mother felt about me, there was this vibe that I've gotten from her that didn't feel right, I guess it was just me. When my dad had come to pick me up Chris was walking me to the door but stopped me in the small hallway to give me a kiss goodbye, but his dad had unexpectedly showed his face and asked Chris to help him with the chairs, I gave him a hug goodbye and I hopped into my dads truck.
2 weeks later I was walking down the hall and Chris had surprised me from behind giving me a bear hug and grabbing my butt in public saying "Theres my beautiful kitty" and aggressively kissed me. "Why aren't you in class?" I asked pushing him away in a playful manner " I couldn't go to class until I've seen my kitty"
" your going to fail"
"If I fail would you still love me?"
"We just started dating"
"So you can't love me?"
"I'm not ready for love" the expression on Chris's face told me that I have said the wrong thing
"If you don't love me then why are we in a relationship?"
" can we not talk about this now I'm already late for class" he aggressively pulled me into the back staircase and pushed me into the wall causing shooting pain into my head and back.
"We're going to talk about this now! You've been acting weird over the weekend what's up?!" I struggled to get him off me but he wouldn't let me go "its been 2 months and I still know nothing about you but you know everything about me"
"I don't know everything"
"And I know nothing, you have been so depressed lately and your not telling me why, if you so called loved me you would've told me what was wrong instead of hiding things" as I said leaving him to ponder and walking to my class.
We haven't talked in days ever since that argument happened, but when we did it would be awkward. Until one day Chris took me to a park I've never been before(then again I've been sheltered half my life), he sat me down and held my hands. He took a deep a deep breath and showed me a picture of a baby "who is that?" He sighed heavily again and said "its mine" I looked at him in shock and I knew if I reacted in a way he expected me to then how much of a girlfriend would I be? So I softly rubbed my hand down his cheek and said "it's ok but how do I know that for sure?" He took out his phone and called his ex and asked "how's the baby?" And as expected from a baby mama she yelled saying its doing great without you. He hung up and looked at me "I'm only telling you this because I have a feeling that we're going to be together for a long time and I trust you and I love you even if your not ready to love me" I had no words I couldn't say anything I've never experienced this kind of behavior with a guy before so I just hugged him....... I hugged him until it got awkward and we started play fighting " do you trust me?" I hesitated but I felt like I could trust him so I said yes, he looked like he was glowing when I responded and said I want you to try something new. I got a little skeptical about his response but I said ok and as he dropped me off to the bus stop he said "meet me at my house tomorrow and I'll show you" he kissed my cheek and I walked inside pondering.
The next day had come and I arrived to Chris's house with my lust burning inside me, the usual tradition of a girlfriend greeting his boyfriend was mutual until I asked what was the thing he was going to show me. He had gotten up and said "yesterday you said you trust me correct?"
"Yyyes"
" so let me give you a sensation you have never felt before" I was scared but wanted to feel the sensation, he laid me on my back and kissed me softly and whispered into my ear saying"I'll be gentle" was this the day I lose my virginity? My heart beated faster and faster and I started to get hot but when I looked his pants was still on and so was mine, then I got confused "what are you going to do to me?"
"You never got fingered before right?"
"Nobody has ever touched or see my vagina"
"Well I'm going to be the first and last" before I could even say no he stuck one finger into my vagina and slowly went in and out making me clinch onto the bed, he used his other hand to caress my breasts while kissing me he went faster and I softly moaned grabbing his hair "wana try for 2?" He asked me biting my neck but he did it anyway I moaned even louder as he went faster and my heart beated faster..........when he was done I wanted more but I sadly had to go. He walked me to the bus stop and yet again I was left pondering about my sexual feelings, left thinking what would happen next time.
