The bright sunlight forever gone and my dark soul had returned. The black sky evened my view on the shining moon staring right back at me. My surroundings, eerie and sinister. They were far from secure or risk free. My surroundings.
They were strange. Quite strange. I could not quite catch on what my surroundings made me feel, but I was sure it was not encouraging.
Encouraging.
The word that I used to reassure my loved ones. Reassure my loved ones on what an undiminished future they would have. The future that was in my hands. The future I let go because of my lack of awareness.
The future I had destroyed. The future that no longer existed. It was my turn now. My turn to do what I always wanted. To do what I had desired for many years.
Success was what i had imagined to be a great feeling. A feeling where you wake up in joy and succeed once again. To have goals. To enjoy what you have earnt. To enjoy what you have or Who you have. It's divergent to what I endure. For me, For me it was the feeling of having people by your side. Family and Friends next to you. Supporting you.
Who knew? Who knew that one mistake can ruin your life forever.
It makes you want to go back and never do what you did. It makes you hold onto your parents legs and beg for their mercy. It's how selfish I was. How inconsiderate it made me. The worst pain is knowing your family is alive, is there but not with you.
Living their lives like you were never existed in the first place. The everyday torture of knowing that you cant see them. That you are nothing to them.
Sitting here right now under the roof of my abductor. The abductor I have not seen in my entire existence. The existence I had lived in sorrow and guilt.
The existence where I was not even wanted. The existence. My existence. This billion dollar mansion. This mansion where I was kept. The mansion I was placed in to rot. I do not know how long I have been here or what my purpose is here.
All I know is that I've been kept, against my will. I protest, I strike I scream but nothing works. I am fed, I am told to stay in this room which just adds to my pain. These four walls, These black four walls surrounding me get closer and closer day by day.
These walls will soon asphyxiate me. Soon will be the reason of my death. And I'm waiting. I'm waiting for that day to come so I can finally be free from this world. From the pain that I go through.
Sighing, I get up from the balcony and walk to my bed. My bed which has red silk bedsheets which surrounding it. Sleep is what I do to run away from my problems. To run away from my past. The past still haunts me to this day.
The fact that it is just these black walls and me is what scares me the most. Turning off the main light of the room, I headed for the bed. Closing my eyes just brings darkness that I want. I want to stay in this darkness forever. No disturbances. No Fuss.
This is the best way I get finally be at peace. My thoughts going wild, I shut my eyes for the last time today and fall in a deep slumber.
"I will NOT get on my knees for a man that does not deserve the respect." I spoke with authority. Suddenly pain was shot in my scalp from someone tugging my hair.
"He is your father as much as I am!" Father screamed, Tears in my eyes about to fall. I will not cry. I will not cry for someone else's mistakes. I shrieked as Father pulled harder.
"APOLOGISE!" Father screamed like never before. This horrified me but I kept my cool. I will not apologize. Not now, Not ever.
The next words shocked me to my core. " Apologize now or ill shoot your mother." he held the gun to mothers head. My head slowly lifted from my father to the gun, to mother. Fear covered mothers face. Hes bluffing. He loves mother. He will do anything for her. Not kill her.
My thoughts were disrupted by a loud gun shot..
I jolted up, covered in sweat blurred by the tears in my eyes. It happened again. My thoughts got the best of me. My thoughts have finally destroyed me
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