My Confession

My Confessions

Date: 2019-2020

*Key points of this confession*

Making new friends

Drifting away

Losing someone

Falling in love

Losing love

Realization of what family is

Self-love

New life coming into this world

Depression

* School project *

I realized something about writing, it isn't about spelling or grammar or how what someone's impression of it is, it's about the emotions it makes you feel upon completion. Some people can be read like an open book, while others are much harder to see through, writing is a way for people like us to show the things that have stuck with us. That's my thoughts on writing.

When I came up with the idea to start a journal it wasn't the smartest idea that I've had, keeping a journal takes effort to stick with it, you must think as to why you want to write a journal in the first place, it could be emotions, or maybe it's a hobby that someone has brought up.

I'm writing this journal in 2020 with events that happened in 2019, why start a journal with past events? Because I regret not doing it when I had the chance to. I'm writing this not with hopes that someone will read it, but with hopes that I learn from this. In the past year, I realized that I don't have any friends, and loneliest has struck me but it seems that I haven't accepted it yet. That one song called "What do live for" by Fabian Secon, yeah that kind of depressing one that expresses how a lot of people feel. I was feeling that in my freshman year of high school, yet now that I look back, I realized that the problems I had could have been a laughingstock.

Compared to this year I would call this true depression, any other year doesn't top this one, yet when the depression came, a great sense of peace came. That statement won't make sense until later. I honestly would like some thoughts on this, if you do decide to read all of it, I'm not an expert in writing, far from it.

I'm here to admit my faults, and that I'm not the person people think I am. This is my confession, enjoy.

Confession of 2019

Wow, this is going to be so fun! my thoughts on my first day of high school. The fresh morning of September 6th, 2019 came by, who knew it was going to change everything, I can't help but wonder what went wrong.

When I walked into that huge school, I wasn't expecting to meet the people I did, laugh the way I never thought I could express love in a way that I always dreamed of. I will admit, times like this... I wish I never existed. You wonder why someone would say that if they were feeling such happiness, well when happiness comes, and you lost it all you realize what those moments meant.

When I went to my first lunch inside that school it was about 12:45, 7th-period lunch. I made three friends who were all friends with one another, they made me feel the joy that I had lost for so many years. Let's call them... Thing 1, thing 2, and thing 3 for the fucks of it. Thing 1 and 2 were siblings, who both were really close with thing 3, and I was thing 4, the extra added person who tried to always include myself. Things were fine, calm, and I was able to be my true self around them. I still wasn't social enough to invite them to my house, and I easily directed apart from them by the end of the year, and now this year, a wave in the hallway is nonexistent.

Heh when I always said that I was bulletproof, I didn't expect that to completely backfire. I think this is starting to seem like a mix of memories and my recent thoughts? Seems more jumbled up than I intended, so I apologize for that I don't seem to remember what my thoughts were back then, only the things that affected me as I am now.