paradoxical

Prolegomenon

Prolegomenon a critical or discursive introduction to a book.

We accept the love we think we deserve. In this case it was his. I fell madly into an abyss of pain and misery. To understand this story we have to start from the beginning of my pain.

October 19, 2019

"Sorry excuse me I need to get to class" pushing past everyone in the hall I made it to my class. Not before tripping in front of the door. "Nice one becks". I slapped her on the arm. "I don't appreciate the sass Lea." She helped me up and I walked towards my seat. "Good morning class I expect you all had a wonderful weekend. Wonderfully enough you all have a pop quiz." The class groaned in agony. The teacher mocked us and picked up a pile of paper. "Are you kidding me when did she-" I was interrupted by Ms Ryland. "Carter go sit in the back." I looked at Ms Ryland and at Lea. I grabbed my books and back pack and went to the back or the classroom. I sat next to the empty desk by the window. Ms Ryland handed me my paper and I started working. Staring into the abyss for 20 minutes don't do me any good. I started writing. "Hi sorry I'm late. Ms...uh Ryland?" I look up and see a tall figure standing in front of Ms Ryland. He was about 5'8. "You can take a seat in the back by Carter." I looked back down at my paper. I wasn't in the mood to make friends. Thinking he'd say hi to me he just walked up to me. Looked me up and down and sat next to me. I'd expect him to introduce himself but I guess not. The principal had announced last week that there would be a transfer week. So as far as I knew there would be a whole lot more of this. I handed in my paper as the bell rang. I ran out the door and down hall A I needed to get to hall D in 3 minutes. Or id be late for gym class. I ran into the locker room grabbing my change of clothes and racquet. I ran out to the courts and started doing warm ups.

I caught up to Kara and Jordan. Jordan is gay by the way. "Hey babes" he said wiping his sweat. Kara and I laughed. " breaking a sweat already?" He shoved us both a little. "Oh did you hear about the new students?" I rolled my eyes. " I sit next to one In English." We started running back and forth doing butt kicks and high knees. Me practically gasping for air I heard "Nguyen!" I tripped over my own feet and walked over to Mr Colt. "Yes sir." He looked at me with ease. "There is a new transfer student in my gym class. I would like you to warm up with them. Start with the basics. I can't have anyone behind in my gym class." I smiled and picked up my racquet. "Who's the new person?" From tying my shoes I looked up and this tall figure standing over me. "Oh uh-" I stood up with him being way taller than I expected. "Jack." He said as he smiled. He stuck out his hand for me to shake. I was confused. We had already met before. And he seemed quite rude. I grabbed his hand my palm barely grasping it and smiled back. "Carter. Carter Nguyen." Letting go of his hand I started to blush. His dusky brown hair and chestnut brown eyes and how his cheekbones gave his face life. "Nguyen are you gonna-" I snapped back to reality grabbing jacks wrist and a can of balls we went to court 16. "I like your racquet. Tennis is your sport?" He sat down on the bench to tie his shoes. "Sorry how could you tell that-" he interrupted me. "Your shoes the souls are worn down. Your racquet isn't the cheap shitty bulk ones the school provides. And your ummm your uniform. It's the school uniform but the crest is different."

I was shocked he payed that much attention? He barely looked at me this morning. I laughed to myself. "Uh yeah I've been playing for a while." He stood up. "Well ms professional let's play." I laughed and rolled my eyes I grabbed 3 tennis balls and rolled them up my skirt. One serve and the game was on. We played a good 4-3. Warning bell rang for lunch. So jack and I picked up all the balls. "I have some competition now." I smiled. "Sure jack." I grabbed my bag and headed off the court. Jack ran to catch up with me.

Jack: so how long have you been playing?
Carter: you're just mr chatty hm?
Jack: hey no harm in being nice
Carter: no you're right I'm sorry. 9 years.
Jack: wow you've been playing for a while.
Carter: yeah- my uhh my mom yeah.. so I'll see you around. Jack."

I smiled and walked a little faster. Changed in the change room and went to lunch I met up with Lara in the hallway. Grabbing all my bags we packed up for the day. I pushed through the big glass doors and dropped my tennis equipment. Bending over to pick it up made me drop more and more. "Here Carter." Looking up I saw Jack standing over me. He towered over me. My 5'2 stubby short frame in front of him. "Thanks jack." I would've stayed and talked but I had to go. My dad was honking at me from the car. I ran into the care shoving my stuff in the back seat we drove off.

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hey y'all :) long time no talk. So this story is based off my life. Based off how I feel about this boy. We're friends in real life just NOT like this. I adore him. He's absolutely wonderful.
Honestly I don't think I'll keep this story published. I think I'll just upload it for a little and maybe delete it after. Let me know if I should continue writing:)
-c