Don't You Worry

Chapter 1

Trigger warning: This chapter contains brief descriptions of sexual assault. If you do not want to read it, look for the mark indicating when you can skip. If themes of rape/molestation/sexual assault are triggering for you please do not read, and take care of yourself.

Jazmine sat in the tub holding herself tight. Phantom touches covered her skin, making her squeeze her eyes.

'Just breath.'

Yet it was like her body refused to cooperate. Her eyes burned with the sting of her tears. Her chest ached like someone had crushed her heart, and lungs.

'How could a human being do this.'

A meaningful question with no answer. She was only a 16 year old girl with dreams to finish school, and becoming a star. A few days ago her biggest worry, was getting the new boy, Mark Brown, to notice her.

She would grin, and watch him during lunch; thoughts of him had filled her mind for the last few months. He was no where in her current thoughts. Now thoughts of been sexually assaulted filled her mind.

'How could I be so stupid.'

'It's all my fault.'

The self hating thoughts pressed on her conscious. The day started off so well. She went to school, came home, did her homework, and asked her mother to go to the skate park.

On her way home she stopped at her local corner store. It was closing, but she thought it was nice for the owner Mr. Perez to let her in anyway. She stood in the aisle scanning the items when she felt a brush on her back.

She turned her head seeing the store owner smiling behind her. She felt uncomfortable with his hands resting on her back, and so she gave an uneasy smile curling into herself.

"You need help?" The man asked.

Warning: Brief Sexual Assault scene: If you Do Not want to read skip until the end of underlined words!

"Uh... No. I'm fine thanks." She spoke moving her body away from his touch Slowly moving to the side.

He placed his hands on her shoulder. Moving closer.

"You should let me help you you look tense." He spoke dragging his hands down her body over her breast.

Jazmine felt her body freeze, and her stomach clenched in a way the made her feel sick and queasy. When her mind finally processed the situation she tried to move back but the shelf blocked her escape. His hands explored her body in places he didn't have permission, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"No!" She pleaded on deaf ears.

"Just a little more." He told her making her heart race in panic.

"No!" She cried pushing him with a strength that pushed him back into the opposite shelf.

She ran out of the store not stopping until she ended up near the end of the block. She felt like she couldn't breath. She inhaled, and exhaled feeling like she was an some type of auto pilot.

People passed her giving her funny looks, but she could only glance at them in suspension. Who could she even trust now? Would another man do this to her?

'Just breath.'

The traumatic memory replayed in her mind, and Jazmine clutched her hair, feeling her coils bunch up more in her grasp. The remaining oils from her hair products coated her hands, but she ignored that letting out a harsh sob. She sunk her head under the water with her eyes shut.

'Just breath.'

She repeated those words continuously like a mantra as she tried to calm down. Her curls floated around her face in a gentle caress, and her lungs burned crying for air.

'I can stay down here. Allow the pain to leave, and the shame to melt away.'  The devil in her mind offered.

It was tempting. The pain ached in her chest, and her thoughts revolved around her recent trauma. She just wanted it to end.

But she wanted to still be alive when the pain ended. That thought snapped her out of her suicidal thoughts, and she shot out of the tub. Her mouth greedily drunk in air, nourishing her lungs.

Soaked curls weighed down with water stuck to the skin of her face, and neck, dripping water  back into he tub. She moved the hair out of her face, trying to avoid tangling the shrinking coils. She sat back laying her head on the edge of the tub staring at the ceiling.

Tears dripped from her eyes, and she sat in the tub crying. She just felt so confused, and overwhelmed.

'Will I make it through this?'

After a long time Jazmine felt herself began to calm down, and she ended her bathing session with another shower where she scrubbed her skin raw with a rag. Her skin was soft afterward, but even on her melanin rich skin, was the tinge of red apparent from her vigorous scrubbing. She wrapped a fluffy towel around herself sinking into it's warmth.

She walked into her room putting on some comfy pajamas, and curling up on her covers. Her day had been a hard one. Yet deep down she had hope things would get better.