While He was Awake

Meeting him: The First of Many

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you” I said, wondering whether he was going to scream and call security, or throw something at me in defense. I stood anxiously waiting for his next fight or flight response. But instead he was surprisingly calm for someone who had just found a stranger sitting in their room.

“No, no it’s okay, I just, I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here” he spoke with such a kind softness in his voice that all my inhibitions flew out of the window. I was no longer scared, just a little overwhelmed. He was there, right in front of me. I blinked a few times, hoping that I wouldn’t tear up. There were a few moments of silence and my mind was clouded with so many emotions that I felt dizzy, but I realized I had to say something, something that would justify my being there without raising any suspicion. Then it dawned on me that there was a party below and there were more then a hundred people there, Michael surely would not know all of the people and I could just pretend to be another guest at the party.

“Sorry, I was looking for the washroom and the room wasn’t locked so I came in, I’ll leave” I said nonchalantly, like only my presence in the room needed explanation

“No, it’s okay, you can use my washroom”

“thank you” I smiled. He looked so innocent and cute, standing at the entrance of the room, clueless as to who I was and apprehensive but not frightened, that I just wanted to cuddle him up. I walked towards him, put my hands around and engulfed him in a hug. Asking me why I did that would be like asking a person falling from the tenth floor of a building why she was going down, he was gravity and I was falling. I felt his body stiffen up a little, but almost instinctively he hugged me back. I could hear his paced breathing, his chest gently lifting up and down. It was strange, how we’d never met each other before today and yet the embrace felt like we were babies being baptized together.

“Happy Birthday” I whispered

“Thank you” he replied. I felt the vibrations of his chest against mine when he spoke. Oh, how right this felt.

After a few seconds more we mutually parted from the hug, I admired his features, his face still close to mine. He was beautiful…if he was any less beautiful, I would have been able to talk more about it. But I don’t want to disturb his pious beauty with my incomplete words. Right now I know that If given a choice between heaven and Michael, I’d choose him, in every life, in every death.

“the washroom’s there” he said pointing to a door in his room, still smiling. I don’t think he ever stopped smiling, well, I don’t think he ever should

“thanks”

I went inside and splashed my face with water a few times. I was still in a trance of disbelief. ‘You just met Michael’, I kept repeating to myself over and over again but it wouldn’t sink in completely. A few minutes later I went out. I thought the room would be empty again and Michael would have gone back to his party. But he hadn’t. I found him sitting crosslegged on his bed, fiddling with the sheets aimlessly

“hey” I spoke, closing the door of the washroom behind me

He looked up and smiled

“not going back to your party?” I asked

“No, I don’t really like gatherings or parties”

“hmm”

“do you?” he asked

“what?”

“do you like parties” he completed his question

“No, not really”

“okay”

There was silence again.

“you can sit” he spoke, tapping his bed