becoming something important

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"You don't agree?" I say, mocking Harry. We are climbing up the big tree in the meadow we found together not long ago. It is beautiful, that's for sure, and it was the only tree around here, just sinking into the souls of people walking by, looking wonderful. It was very big, surrounded by white and yellow flowers sitting on the tops, getting ready to be something, that day we found it and we couldn't just ignore it. And so since that glorious day that passed we've been going here every day, right after supper. 

"No, Louis, i certainly don't, love. You can't have sugar in tea" Harry says and sits on one of the branches. He was looking beautiful like this; curls all over the place, brown trousers, white shimmy with suspenders, his new shoes on as well and those eyes. Those heavenly, green, shining eyes. All of Harry, all of him, was shining in the sun that was just about to go down. Mother would say i have to go home now if she found me, but she can't. Not here. For heaven's sake i can't even be with my friends, that strict is she. It is not polite to say that, i know, i know, but hell, she has seven kids and a farm to take care off. I barely get a break from the house. 

"Harry, what has gotten to you these days?" I ask and reach out to tackle him where i know he's weak. I suppose i do that with a meaning; in hope to hear that laugh of his that makes my heart fly away like butterflies and swim into the deepest, most clearest ocean and, last, come back to where it belongs. With Harry. 

"Nothing's wrong with me. Perhaps you should go to Mr. James, I offer." He says when i've stopped tickling and he stopped laughing, but the dimples still there. The dimples. I scoff at his answer. Pathetic. Tea goes with sugar everybody knows that. 

"I love this tree." I say and look over to the field. It's so wonderful, i can't even explain it. 

"And i love it, too." 

"Maybe we should show Liam this." I offer. 

"No!" Harry says, it makes me jump a little because he said it so loud. "I'm sorry, love, I just think that Liam wouldn't enjoy the air of beauty like we do, isn't that right?" 

"You have a way of words, Styles." 

"No why thank you, Tomlinson." He says and smiles that angel smile. I stand up on the branch i was sitting on and look down at Harry, those pretty eyes looking back at me. 

"May I?" I ask and nod towards the branch he's sitting on, praying to God he will let me sit next to him. 

"You may." He answers and smiles. I go over to him and quickly sit right next to him. I feel his warmth coming occupying my soul, but I don't say anything. I feel like this is the perfect moment to tell Harry that I feel something for him. I don't know what it is, though, but I think i figured it out. I think it's something that mother and father has, only in another way. 

"Two boys may not love one another nor kiss but once blue eyes met green that fairy tale was long gone" I often say that. It is, indeed, true i believe. 

"Harry, can I ask you something, love?" I ask.

"Yes, dear, always" He smiles at me. 

"Could you see yourself with a lady, getting down on you knee for her?" I'm not even realising my words before they come out. What am I asking? What is this? 

"That is a very hard question, Lou. I may not give the best answer. Why minding to ask?" That was not what I expected. I look over the meadow and see a lady and her husband walking with a little girl. The little girl is pretty, she has a blue dress with white sandals, i suppose, and very curly hair in a blue bow. She's around the year of five and just enjoy the air of fields, walking with her parents. Her parents are Mr. and Mrs. Winston, of course, the richest family on the island. The lady is very beautiful with a beige dress that covers her knees, short blonde hair filling her shoulders and a wonderful smile when she talks with her family. The man looks nothing but happy, all the three does. See, Louis would want that, just not with a lady. He could not see himself in that way. Giving himself to a lady. Her giving herself to him. Babies. No. 

"I could not. I admit it. I could not see myself with a lady in my nearly future." Harry only nodded to my answer but not looking at me. I want to see his eyes, look at me Harry!

"Father says it's wrong." the words leave his beautiful pink lips with a quiet sob with pain nobody but me would understand. 

"I know he says that love, but remember what I said that day when he...when he hit you?" i whisper. "We're in this together, yeah? You're wonderful Harry. Beautiful. An angel honestly, darling" he finally looks at me and brings his head to my chest. I feel my shirt water, he's crying. I rub his back in comfort, but painfully sobs are the only sound that's left on the tree's surrounding. 

"I am so different apart from everyone else." He snaps his head up and looks at me, I could simply melt at the sight of him. That's why i can't help when I kiss his head gently and slowly. He smiles at me.

*** 

We're walking home and looking at the flowers that we are passing. Harry is utterly beautiful. I know it is indeed wrong to think of him the way i do, but my brain still will. 

"You're bricky Louis, you know that?" Harry said and turned his pretty head to look at me. 

(bricky is something used in the 1800s that means brave or fearless)

"Why thank you, Harold" I answered and looked him straight in the eyes. Beautiful green eyes that made my stomach weird. Prehaps I'm sick. But I don't feel like that, it's a good  feeling. I notice the beautiful flowers laying on a thin layer of air right in front of our sore eyes. I take one of the flowers and turn around to look at Harry. "Look here, love, is this not the most glorious flower you have seen?" 

"It is, Lou" He answers and laughs slightly. 

"I have an idea, Harold. Turn around" and he does. He turns around and I start picking up the flowers. I think I took twenty-eight, but it doesn't matter, however, I start braiding the flowers together as admiring them. So beautifully angelic, they are. Perfect for Harry. I think Zayn once said it's a cherry blossom flower. Zayn loves flowers, he has a garden for all of his flowers. I love going there, it's a free feeling to watch all flowers over and over again. Wonderful. Once I finished braiding the flowers together I see I made a beautiful flower, hm....crown..? Yes, flower crown it shall be called. "You can look now" 

Harry turns around and looks at me, shining and smiling. It is unnormal how a person can be this perfect in many ways, I have never seen. But Harry is. I put the flower crown on his head and fix it gently as he watches with green, gorgeous eyes. His mouth opens to tell me something, but I put my finger on his pretty pink lips. 

"It's a flower crown. It's beautiful and angelic, just like you, love" I say. He looks back at me, a bit confused, but watching in fond. There is a comfortable silence where neither a soul nor a thought interrupts. A silence that is desire of love, trust and freedom. 

Harry being so close to my eyes and mouth is controlling. Breathing flies away, instead comes butterflies, spreading all over my body. In my stomach, my eyes, my mouth and in my head. My ears are hearing the sound of wings of three beautiful blue butterflies in the sun. And nor I can do anything to help my lustful mouth when the next words fall off my mouth. 

"Two boys may not love one another nor kiss but once blue eyes met green that fairy tale was long gone" I whisper. Harry looks at me, hope in both of our eyes. Being on the field, surrouned by a hundred different flowers, the tree we just climbed down, the sun on its way down and Harry's beautiful flower crown that is surrounded by his breathtaking curls is just wonderful.  

He looks at me and brings his face closer to mine. I feel my heart skipping a beat, for the love of God, it's scary. Why does it do that? I don't know what i'm doing when i place my hands around his neck, putting my fingers in his hair but it feels right. Feels like home. Harry places his hands around my waist and pulls me a slight closer, and then the angelic eyes looking into mine and I'm not breathing. I'm lost. Lost in Harry. He goes closer to my face and I tug on his hair that's so soft. Soft like his gentle hands around my waist, like my hands at his neck. Harry smells like caramel. I met his eyes one last time, but this time they're closed. I furrow my eyebrows but the next touch almost sending a shock through my body. 

He kisses me. 

***

hey :> so i hope you enjoyed this chapter. 

it's supposed to be in the 1800s if someone didn't understand :)

-😏




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⏰ Last updated: Nov 22, 2020 ⏰

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