Little Fires

Chapter 1

Music faintly played from my truck radio as I sat and toyed with my cigarette. The bed of my truck and was cold on my ass making it numb. I took another drag out of my cigarette listening to the wind rustle in the trees. I looked up at my childhood home, my own personal hell. I glanced up at the top left window and saw my brother's battered dinosaur curtains. I sadly smiled as I remembered how much he begged me for curtains so the monsters couldn't see him. He was always scared of the forest that engulfed our house. Our house was isolated from everyone, and at night it felt like you were in this deep dark abyss. The only thing that pierced through those terrible nights was our flickering porchlight which made ominous shadows against the grass and trees. I sighed and took another drag from my cigarette. The hum of my truck was the only comfort I had left. Fuck. The smell of gas and blood swirled around me making my stomach twist and turn. This was all real. I closed my eyes to keep tears from spilling and tried to remember why. Why it had to be this way.

--- BEFORE---

I calmly walked to my truck, kids spilled out of the school like mice scattering out of a garbage can when somebody kicks it. People pooled at cars discussing summer plans and asking how eachother did on finals and bullshit like that. I had finally finished high school, and I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do with my life. I noticed there was an asshole leaning against my car as I walked closer. That asshole in particular was both my bestfriend and a pain in my ass. He had his long slender arms crossed across his chest and his messy black hair was pushed back. His skin was a beautiful tan color. His eyes were brown and bright. His face was always adorned with his lopsided cocky smile that radiated a stupid self confidence. He wore black ripped skinny jeans and a faded yellow shirt with a unreadable logo with white vans.

"Hey, you emo."

"Fuck off Tommy," I said a little too harshly to be friendly.

"Okay first off rude. Second off, I'm having a party with some friends this weekend. Want to come?"

"No," I said as I rolled my eyes. That fucker is always dragging me to parties to smoke and drink. He always brings his friends, trying to hook me up with SOMEONE claiming I am really lonely bitch, which I am, but he doesn't have to know. It would be too hard to start a relationship, and I really don't want to have to be hurt again.

"Come on, Cherry is bringing a person I've never met. But I hear shes really fucking hot and definitely into gay emos like you."

"You know I can't."

"Why, is it your fucking Dad again? Danny, he's a fucktard and your an adult, you can do what the fuck you want. Date who you want. I know you're lonely and need someone to help you cope. I sure as hell have tried but I don't think it's helped a whole lot."

I sighed and looked at him. Tommy knows me really well. We have been together since middle school, sticking it out together. I looked to him as my big brother in a lot of ways, I know for sure I wouldn't be here without him. I remember when he dragged me to a tattoo parlor for my 17th birthday to get us matching shark tattoos. Though he and I are no strangers to hell, being some of the only openly gay people in this small of a town really fucks you up. I looked at him, and he had his classic pleading face. My resolve started to crack the longer the silence between us stretched.

"Fine," I sighed, "I am only doing this because I want you to get off my back."

He chuckled and slapped my shoulder, "That's the spirit!"

---

I looked in my mirror and twirled my black hair. I looked into my disgusting green eyes and frowned. The bags under my eyes was really prominent, and coupled with my untamable frizzy hair and unnaturally pale skin I looked like I hadn't slept in years. Which was kinda half true. The only thing I really liked was my small mouth that had a perfect cupid's bow and was slightly plump, but not to much. I tugged at my black shirt. I noticed my black pants slightly different shades of black, but since this was gonna be at night, I didn't bother changing. I decided to put on my "FUCK THIS SHIT" baseball cap and my tattered black jacket adorned with sad boi patches.