7 Days

Pants. (Epilogue)

I sat cross legged in the middle of the floor, staring at the chair that was randomly placed in front of me. I was feeling very, very uncomfortable right now. Leppy was gone. He’d gone in the deep fryer. It all happened so quickly! One second I went over to Iris to try out her new food creation, next I was morning over a much crisped Leppy who I’d just fished out of the deep fryer. It was very emotional.

And Kym said I couldn’t even hold a funeral for him. He was too severally burned to even be picked up, let alone shoved under the dirt. A single tear slipped from my eyes but I swiped it away before it could call upon its friends. This. Is. Pants.

“Girl, what’s pants?” I heard Senna call from right behind me. Ha! I’d been talking out loud. Her hand rested on my shoulder as she crouched next to me. I could see she was carrying all her suitcases. What? What did that mean?

My arms then grew their own brain (sort of) and wrapped themselves around Senna’s neck, pulling her into a hug. “Leppy! Leppy is pants! He’s dead pants!” I cried, nuzzling my face into Senna’s chest. She patted my back reassuringly, dropping her suitcases that I was still confused about. “I will never have another beard like him! Leppy was not replaceable.” I sniffled, wiping my nose. “Ha! Big word!”

After noticing that I had used a very awesome and complicated word, I decided that it was treat-worthy. I gave myself a nice pat on the back. “This conversation is getting hella weird, G, so I’m going to come out and say that I’m needed back home. See you another time, girl.” She explained sadly, giving me one last squeeze before leaving my house. Leaving.

“Bye, Senna.” I whispered to no one, as Senna was already starting up her car. This. Is. Pants! I crossed my arms over my chest, getting back into my original cross legged position.

“God, Georgi, what the hell is pants?” Kym huffed, chugging a beard from the doorway. I turned to look at his face, where a thick path of stubble was growing over his chin. My whole body yearned to be over there stroking it right now…

I could tell my eyes had gone wide, marvelling at the little hairs. They weren’t nearly as long and epic as Leppy, but they would certainly make for some good beard stroking. “Senna is pants! Can I stroke your face?”

“No.” He answered, doing the raised eyebrow thing. I groaned and fell to the floor, spread out like a starfish, and watched the ceiling fan whirl around in a boring circular motion. I mean, why did fans spin like that? Why did they make your eyes hurt with that same, repetitive motion? It was pants.

“Come on, G. Do you want to come help me with my passes?” He offered hopefully. I shook my head simply. “Do some woodwork?” I shook my head, not bothering to look at him. “Go buy a new Lippy?” I shook my head once again. Then my mind reversed a little. “You aren’t even listening!”

“I meant yes! And it’s ‘Leppy’. Get it right, moron.”

“You have a retarded accent. Get over it.”

My jaw dropped. What a jerk! How dare he insult my amazing Canadian-ness! “Well we can’t get a Leppy because I have work today. It’s my one week anniversary!” I screeched excitedly, completely changing moods. Kym nodded and almost ran back to wherever he previously was.