story of my life

Chapter 3

Just another meaningless day goes by In what seems like the blink of the eye but also 20 years at the same time...

I have been listening to music all day long, to be honest I don't even like music that much now, I don't listen to the lyrics as they hold no meaning for me and it's usually just screaming anyways, but atleast that screaming helps quiet down the voices in my head and around me...

I just sit in my room alone, with music blasting in my ears and trying to concentrate on Studying for my exams which are going to happen way too soon for my liking...But I can't concentrate.

My thoughts just keep wandering to all the looks of disappointment and hatred of my parents and countless others. It just seems like noone wants to talk to me these days, and they are just talking and pretending to care about me to be polite. It just seems like I am a burden and just annoying people by staying with them.

I hate that I annoy them and I don't want to...But there's only so much time that I can go without talking to anyone. I get lonely and I just want to talk to someone when that lonliness gets too much. But I still think I am annoying everyone. I don't even know what to do anymore and who to talk to.

But I know if I think about it anymore I will go down an endless spiral of sadness and I think I have done that enough for today.

The rest of the day was kind of peaceful. I didn't really talk to anyone except a friend late at night but talking to them made me really happy and I felt that wave of euphoria everytime I talk to a close friend of mine....I haven't felt it in so long so it was a really nice feeling.

I have been staying in a single room since the past 2 weeks because a relative of mine has covid...So we all had to stay inside the house or a single room.

I hope tomorrow I can finally go outside...I can't stay inside a room any longer. This quarintine has messed with my brain enough and honestly I can't take it anymore.

I might go to a nearby place that's supposed to be haunted tomorrow so if anything interesting happens I will be updating.