A Rewrite of John 9:1-17 I did for School and Wanted to Share

Jesus Heals a Blind Man: The Rewrite

It was a hot and sunny Saturday in the city, and that could have been due to some god Peter knew of. Maybe his god, maybe some god of another religion, who knew? All that he knew was that the god doing this was clearly not the one walking beside him holding his hand and constantly complaining about the heat.

"Jesus, please. It isn't that bad." Peter said for possibly the fifth or sixth time. The man he was walking with looked towards him again and was clearly struggling to decide whether to kiss him or strangle him.

"It is too 'that bad'! Who decided that it should be so hot here?!" Jesus yelled. Yes, theoretically, Jesus could change the weather to make it as he saw fit, but that wouldn't really help spread his Father's message. Additionally, his Aunt Mary would probably also be mad at him for using the powers he had for something as minute as the temperature. He looked his boyfriend up and down again, and made a decision, leaning in to kiss Peter on the cheek. Peter warmed up to it easily.

"Aww. You're so cute when you're not spreading your cult leader dad's message." Peter commented. Jesus looked at him and made an offended gasp that was clearly not in actual offense. He gave Peter a small shove before speaking again.

"I'll have you know that my dad is not a cult leader! He's spreading a completely legit religion!" Jesus retorted.

"Yeah, sure. A religion that goes against that of the entire city, even state, and could be seen as blasphem... Jesus, are you good?" Peter was about to go on a tangent about how Jesus' 'religion' could be seen as a cult, but trailed off when Jesus stopped walking and stared at a man sitting on the street, across the road from them. Peter already knew exactly what this meant. Jesus leaned close to the road, looked both ways, then ran across to the other side, dragging a somewhat unwilling Peter along with him.

They walked up to the man, who was sitting on top of a piece of cardboard and holding a sign. The man didn't seem to notice the two at first when they approached, but upon Peter reading the sign, he could see why.

'BLIND AND HOMELESS. NEED MONEY FOR FOOD AND WATER' was written on the sign. Peter sighed, it was another person who caused their own downfall through their or their parents' actions. Despite it being none of his business, he was still curious as to what happened that was so bad it made this homeless man blind. Thus, he turned to his boyfriend, who was looking at the man concerned.

"Hey, Babe. It's said in the city's common religion that when someone has an ailment, such as sickness or blindness, it's because either they or their parents sinned. I was wondering, do you know which one it is for this case?" Peter explained. Jesus looked to Peter, clearly weirded out by what was said, but then he shook his head.

"Neither of them. Both this man and his parents were completely blind. None of them sinned at- why would you people think that?" Jesus asked, confused. He looked at the man more closely, and rubbed his hands together. "I'm pretty sure I can heal this man. I mean, I should do it because it helps spread my dad's message, but it should be easy." At this, Peter's eyes widened in horror. The man looked in Jesus' direction, he looked intrigued. Jesus began to pick up some mud from the ground in a nearby alley way, but before he could do anything with the mud, Peter grabbed him, desperately grabbing and pulling him away from the man.

"Are you crazy?!" Peter yelled. Jesus flinched from the sudden harshness from Peter, yet listened to what he had to say. "Do you know what day it is? It's Saturday! The Sabbath! We can't work on the Sabbath! It's a sin! And as we already established before, you get ailments and diseases if you sin! I don't want you to go deaf, or get leprosy, or something worse because you wanted to heal someone!" Jesus looked up to his boyfriend. He could tell that Peter was worried about him, anyone would be if their significant other wanted to work on a day that could supposedly get people sick. Jesus sighed, trying to pry Peter's hands off of him.