The Deal (GXG) -Completed/Re-Editing-

Chapter Nineteen

ERICKA :

Laying next to Tamara, I remember what my mom used to tell me when I was younger ..

" When you are babies, all you do is take , but as soon as you start traveling the world on your own feet , you start wandering far away . Eventually, you just want to get away, and you want to leave everything behind . To me , everything was beautiful, even when you are trying to go away "

That was most of what she'd told me in my teenage years, and for some reason, being next to the second person in the world who knows me best, I really couldn't help but think about how far I have come away from home .

Home .

What does it mean to me anymore ? Did I really belong next to her ? or did I belong next to my mom , next her warm , secure, safe embrace ? and could I really go back to that point ? before I moved away , before I met Tamara , before I met Zoe , and before I was hurt ..

Back when all I ever knew and wanted was love ..

The safest love in the world ... My mom .

Tamara wraps her hands around me and almost lovingly pulls me onto her .. I was so close I could totaly sense the warmth of her body .. Besides, this really was the closest we have ever been to each other .

But I guese this shouldn't surprise me anymore .

-" Did you sleep well ?"

She hums and I lift my eyes up at her .

-" Hm "

-" Are you flustrated ? Do you find this weird ?"

-" You talk too much for someone who has just woken up "

She chuckles and I could litteraly get the tickles from around her stomach aerea . In fact, it was as if Tamara was hugging me , as if I was going to go away, when I actually enjoyed this as much as she did , and probably more ..

I have never guessed I'd feel this great next to her.

-" I miss my mom "

She pulls away a little bit , and I glance at her .

-" Okay "

She gently brushes off a hair from my forehead .

-" Let's pay them a visit today "

-" Shouldn't you be besides yours ?"

She takes a minute, but ends up shrugging, and says in an undecipherable tone .

-" I don't know "

-" I should go pay my respects too "

She smiles dimly .

-" Thank you . Though , I'm not ready for that yet "

-" Tamara .. "

-" I'll be okay "

Suddenly , she gets up and disappears into the bathroom. I was still on the bed, a bit in a dazze of the words we have just exchanged, a bit sad for Tamara , and bit of something deeper that I was feeling . Something I couldn't put a name tag to yet .

Was I falling in love with Tamara ?

And worse ,

Does she feel the same ?

That is when I realize what that emotion was, and I honestly wish I didn't dig into it as soon as I couldn't un-know it .

***