"Give up". It all began with a whisper. Akala ko inuudyok ako ng hangin yun pala nasa isip ko lang ang lahat. Voices filled my head, encouraging me to just stop...and so I did. Back then when I was young, one of my many dreams is to be a star, why? Kasi lahat nakikita at lahat titingala sayo. I was so clueless about what the world is- that the reality may suck you up dry leaving you scared for the rest of your life. Bata pa kasi at walang muwang sa mundo and how I wish na nung bata pa lang ako nalaman ko na ang totoo.
"Are you happy now? Natupad na ang isa sa mga pangarap mo. Nakakatawa lang na ang aga mo itong tinupad ni hindi mo man lang pinatagal muna. Alam mo ang masakit? The fact that I was there with you the whole time pero hindi ko napansin na nahihirapan ka pala. We smile and laugh together over some senseless things ngunit di ko namalayan na malayong-malayo ito sa katotohanan na ikaw ay nasasaktan na pala. Akala ko okay na, akala ko sapat na ako, akala ko kakayanin mo pero akala ko lang pala talaga lahat. Is it too hard for you to ask me to help you? You know I can do everything you ask me to but not even a single word of help came out of your mouth. Bakit ganito? Ilang hakbang na lang matatawag na natin ang isa't-isa na Engineer pero bakit ka sumuko? I thought I was the weak one here! Hindi mo ba na isip na sa gagawin mong ito ay maiiwan ako? Paano naman ako? Ha? I was the one who always is the dependent one and now you're gone how could I continue living like this? Kung pwede lang sana sumama sayo ginawa ko na sa isang kisap mata pero di ko kaya. Kahit na gustong-gusto ko na makasama hindi ko kayang gawin kasi nag-iwan ka lang naman ng isang bagay na habang buhay kong aalagaan. Thank you for all the things you have done to me and thank you for this little thing you left for me, I promise I will take care of him for the rest of my life. I just hope that in our next life if ever we will be together again, I'll promise you that I will never let go of your hand again. I love you, my engineer. Watch over us."
As I see the tears falling in your beautiful eyes, I started regretting what I've done. If only I could turn back the time, I would be running to you right now and hold you close and tell you how much do you mean to me. You're not the one to blame, Love, It's all on me. If only I was strong enough, I would have been with you and with our little angel. To that someone out there, can you give me a second chance? I just want to be with her. Can I just change my dream? I don't want to be a star anymore. I just want all of these things will turn out to be just a...night's dream.
