wish you were | sunhak

5 | sorrowful.

Sitting together at the bus stop, both listened to their heavy breaths that seemed to be the only thing filling their upsetting silence.

Sunwoo sighed, realizing that the unusual silence between them meant something. Deciding to finally speak up, he broke the silence with the burning question that nobody wanted to hear, "you saw it all, right?"

Haknyeon's eyes widened slightly, he opened his mouth to speak and to at least deny his accusation, but no words came out of his mouth.

Haknyeon's silence became too much to handle, making Sunwoo laugh bitterly. "You don't have to answer, I already know."

Sunwoo took Haknyeon's silence as a sign to speak it all, to speak his mind, his heart, his worries and everything. To speak of everything. "You know Haknyeon," the first time Sunwoo said Haknyeon's name tonight, it came out bitterly, making Haknyeon wince at his tone, "I should have probably seen it coming."

"I always had been confident, things would always go my way, that's how I grew up," he took a deep breath, beginning to tear up, "but reality sometimes slaps me in the face."

Haknyeon listened, he listened well, he understood every word. Haknyeon is a good listener, but not a good comforter, so he stayed silent, and let Sunwoo pour out all his sadness on him.

"Why would she even like me?" He questioned with a low quivering voice, indicating that he's about to cry, "she'll obviously like you more, I should have seen it coming."

"Haknyeon," he said his name for the second time, a bit more softly this time, as he felt like he didn't have that much energy left in him. "I always had been envious and jealous of you."

Haknyeon felt his world stop, never would he ever imagine Sunwoo saying that, the boy he likes, never would he ever imagine his crush thinking of him that way, being jealous of him. Haknyeon was too shocked, his breathing stopped.

"That much of a shocker huh?" He laughed bitterly at his friend who couldn't even face him or look at his face, "you should have seen that coming."

Haknyeon still confused, waited for Sunwoo to continue, for him to explain, to say something, anything, when he finally spoke up again. "You're funnier than me, you would always make me laugh, Hak." He leaned his chin on one hand, "but we can't laugh right now, can we?"

"You're much nicer," he continued, "despite my confidence, I was always insecure of what I would say, if it was too mean, in any situation, really."

Feeling the wind grow colder, and the night drawing darker, he rubbed his arms that hid in his jacket, "you were always so collected, I remember the first time we worked together, I was surprised at how well organized you were when collecting your research and organizing the presentation."

With the last burning sentence for him to say, he kept hesitating, when he finally whispered the last words to his friend, "I liked you as much as I envied you, Haknyeon."

Haknyeon let out a huge exhale of air, as if he was holding his breath for the whole time, waiting for the words he didn't want to hear.

Encouraged by Sunwoo's little speech, he finally decided to speak up. Haknyeon stood up abruptly and put his cold hand on Sunwoo's shoulder. "I always had been envious of how you easily comforted others, despite your struggle of choosing the right words to be nicer, as you had said."

Once the bus arrived on time, right after Haknyeon stood up, he walked towards it, paid the bus driver and sat down beside seat farthest away from the window, yet he still had a clear image of the sad Sunwoo looking up at him, trying not to cry, from the bench.

The bus moved away slowly, with Sunwoo's eyes following after it. When the bus left his sight, he felt raindrops on top of the roof of the bus stop, he stood up slowly and held his hand out.

Feeling the rain on his hand, he felt slow hot tears sliding through his cheeks. He walked forward and left the bench's secure protection from the rain, he slowly looked up at the sky and let himself feel all the water coming down on him.

He sobbed and let out the final question for tonight, "we're both sad today, aren't we?" He asked the sky before him.

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―₊˚.༄ a/n: *emo emoji*