Two pieces of a whole.

The first meet.

anxious. stressed. shocked. longing.

What all can she feel at once? Her heart ached, the boy she thought she would never meet, stood before her now. The guy who used to skate across the corridors stood before her now, completely still in his posture, he would run his fingers across his fluffy hair that was now cut short. He said he had no career plans, he just wanted to live carefreely, but why was he here now? Why was he here wearing an army uniform? Why did he join the army? He could have chosen any other career but why did he join the army? She shut her eyes and took a deep breath and opened her eyes gently, she turned to her side, to see him standing again. No, this wasn't her hallucination. It was him. Shravan Malhotra, the boy with whom she had once fallen in love with.

It was so hard for him to stay still, he tried his best to stay still and stop cracking his knuckles in between, he could see her looking at him in disbelief. He tried to stare hard into the wall behind CO Gujral but in vain, his mind kept buzzing, he had come prepared. He had convinced himself that their love was nothing but an infatuation. He couldn't stop the shivers down his spine as he watched her squeeze her eyes shut and breathe out to relax. "Was she okay?", he wondered. He had to go on a mission with her but how? After all, she had once meant so much to him that it was too hard to pretend it was all nothing. He had walked away from her, from them, from SuVan. No. She pushed him away. That seemed more right. She asked him to leave. She told him that her life would have been ruined if she was with him. He let go. He felt deceived.

"Captain Tiwari are you okay?", asked CO Gujral. Suman blinked her eyes and was caught off guard." I'm hopeless, I can't even pretend to be fine.", she thought. "I'm fine sir.", she replied her voice firm, little did they all know how hard it was for her to muster that brave voice, to act indifferent in this awkward situation. " Captain Malhotra and Captain Tiwari go through the files and meet me tomorrow at 8 am sharp.", said CO Gujral offering a warm smile. She replied in affirmative and they both saluted him as he walked away.

Suman was the first one to rush outside. Almost out of breath," I'm fine", she whispered. "It's a dream, probably.", "He can't possibly be here, I think I'm hallucinating.", she said trying to convince herself. She reached into her pocket and fished out a pack of her chewing gum and put one into her mouth and chewed quickly. She was walking away, as quick as possible and not looking back. 

"Captain Tiwari.", said someone from behind. His voice, she thought. Years ago, when she kept calling him hopelessly just to hear that voice, just to know he was fine, just to hear a reassurance, the voice that once gave her comfort was now haunting her. She turned around and forced herself to look into his eyes, but there she found no warmth, that mischievous glint was missing, his eyes looked hollow, empty and dark circles surrounded his eyes, she was drinking in the sight of him and tried her best to not stare, but she did. "Are you fine?", he asked. "You look..."

" Was that concern in his voice? Worry? , she wondered.

Lies. He was always good at lying and pretending, he pretended to love her earlier and now he is pretending as if he cares. All those promises were lies. "I'm fine Captain Malhotra, thanks for your concern", she said as her voice broke a little. Her eyes felt moist as tears filled her eyes and the swallowed tears and questions burned her throat. She quickly put on her goggles, regained her posture, and walked away, she did not turn back even once.

It's weird, he thought, weird how her presence and actions still affected him, over the years, the bitterness wore off and made him numb. Now he shouldn't have cared if she looked sick or not, why did he approach her? He wondered as he watched her leave.

Suman rushed to her room, washed her face with cold water, and looked up to see herself in the mirror. She rushed and pulled out her diary and her pen scratched the smooth surface of the paper as she wrote-" He seemed unaffected almost like he already knew I was there, did I really never mean anything to him? Years ago, I decided to quit waiting, I convinced myself that he wouldn't come back. He did come back. But not for me. He is here, we are to go on a mission to Jharkhand. It's crazy, isn't it? Shravan joined the army. I'm still in disbelief. I thought I was hallucinating, but I'm not."

A lot of questions bubbled within her but they eventually died down. There was no point, they are here for the mission, she can't let her emotions interfere with her work. This was about their country and it's safety, nothing else. She let out a heavy sigh, once she calmed down. She had once imagined that if he came back she would hug him tight and cry because she knew he would listen, he would understand. His arms felt safe, secure and he was her human diary. But now, he brought with him strangeness that made her want to recoil, to leave. 

Everything had changed in these past 7 years.