creativity bubble

Drabble - Touch

I wrote this at a time where I felt particularly bad and numb. Reading fanfics didn't help either, because I craved something very particular, which is hard to find - at least on its own without the "hurt" of the hurt/comfort tag. So this is just comfort, for me at least. 

There was a tightness in Jimin's chest that wasn't unfamiliar. The kind of tightness you could feel in your throat even, making swallowing more difficult than it should be. A numbness was spreading through his body that could way too easily be disguised as calm, boredom even. But he was alone, so there really was no reason to pretend for anyone. His gaze caught his laptop at the foot of the bed again; the screen brightness was turned down in the dimness of his bedroom. A multitude of tabs was opened, but none caught his attention in any way. They could've been a distraction from his thoughts and the numbness in his body, but even that seemed a chore too great to even start. 

Everything was quiet, and Jimin stared at the youtube page from his place propped up against the headrest. He should reach out to someone. He knows that if he only answered a single text of one of his friends, he wouldn't feel this empty anymore. They always knew how to distract Jimin enough to forget about the numbness, at least for a little while. But it seemed too much work. Besides, he didn't really want a distraction. The feelings would come back once their conversation ended anyway, and then he would feel even worse because he had this small glimpse of normalcy and happiness. Then there was also the guilt nagging at him. He felt ashamed of all the times he went radio silent on his friends and undeserving of their support at these times. One of these days, they surely would grow tired of this treatment, wouldn't they? He simply couldn't answer the messages piling up in his inbox, especially once they had been sat there for days and days without being opened. 

The doorbell rang and shook Jimin out of his thoughts. He wasn't expecting anyone at this hour. The sun was long gone. He hesitantly got up, pulling the blanket away from his cold feet as he made his way to the door. He stood on his tiptoes to look through the peephole of his door. On the other side, he could see the broad chest of Jungkook in his warmest winter jacket, flakes of snow melting on his shoulder. For a second, Jimin considered walking away from the door and acting as if he wasn't home, but the bodily shiver going through the other made him reconsider and open the door. 

"Hi," he whispered softly once they were face to face, Jungkook looking at him with an unreadably calm expression on his face. His nose was pink from the frost, and his shoulders were hunched inwards to retain some of his heat through the raging snow outside. "Hi," he said back, wiping his boots on the welcome matt in front of Jimin's door. Jimin let him in, watched from the side how Jungkook took off his boots, leaving them outside the door in order not to make a mess, and hung his thick winter coat. 

They stood in front of each other in silence for a few seconds, neither saying a word, just drinking the other in. "I wanted to check up on you. I know you well enough to see the signs when something is wrong," Jungkook mumbled quietly as if scared to break the heavy blanket of calm laying over the apartment. He didn't say anything about the plethora of unanswered texts they both knew were sitting in Jimin's phone, and Jimin was grateful for it. 

"Okay," Jimin whispered, looking down at his socked feet. "Okay," Jungkook parrotted quietly, taking the initiative now that Jimin seemed to accept his presence. He gently took the other's hand, his thumb stroking over the backside of it, and pulled Jimin to his room. The awfully quiet and dark room where only his dimly lit laptop kept him company over the days. Jungkook was now closing said device, setting it down on the desk by the window, before climbing up the bed, looking at Jimin with the same soft gaze still. Jimin followed, albeit slowly, sitting down next to Jungkook. The clump in his throat seemed to have grown in size now, feeling suffocating to the male. Jungkook also seemed to notice that because he gently guided Jimin to lie down on his back, humming softly as he rearranged the blanket. 

"I've got you," he whispered into the quiet of the room, draping himself over Jimin's smaller body. His full weight settled on Jimin's chest, Jungkook's breath tickling his neck where he had tucked his head, arms securely keeping the smaller under him and pressed to his body. The weight on his chest somehow helped Jimin breathe easier. He felt grounded by the mass pressing him into his mattress, enjoyed the heartbeat against his ribs, the rhythmic inhales and exhales. There was no numbness blanketing his mind now. There was pressure in the best way, a feeling of closeness and intimacy, unlike anything but so much needed. 

Tears sprung to Jimin's eyes without his consent, but they too were needed and long overdue. Jungkook also sensed this shift without a single look at Jimin's face. He took one of his hands, putting it palm up on the mattress before very gently gliding his fingers over it, barely caressing but still reassuring. Jimin cried quietly, always focusing on the feather-light touches over his palm, all his nerve endings responding to the touch. Jungkook stayed quiet through it all, never ceasing his caresses, never taking his weight off of Jimin's chest. There were no words needed. His presence was enough. No words of reassurance could have had the same effect as this physical intimacy had. 

They stayed like that until Jimin's tears dried and Jungkook was sure he was grounded enough. But he still didn't move, simply hugged Jimin tighter to him, asking him to sleep. "I love you, and no dark corner in your mind can change that" was all Jimin could hear before he finally succumbed to the exhaustion. Tomorrow would be better because he had Jungkook there with him.