heaven's little runnaway

1

 #NotNormal

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"Has nobody ever told you how uncomfortable it is to be watched" Stefano finally stops throwing punches and grabs a towel.
         "Aw does it make you feel self conscious?" I tease.
         As he should, the man scoffs. He is hot and he knows it. "Self conscious? Am sorry am not familiar with the term...?"
         "You're a retard just as I thought" I taunt, flipping to the next page of a fitness magazine I just picked up.
          Dropping the smug look, he flings the sweaty towel at me and disgustingly it lands over my face, making a squeal escape my mouth. I rip it off my face and gasp for oxygen as soon as the damp material leaves my face. And by then Stefano is already on the other side of the room picking up his water bottle, ready for us to finally leave. Stefano is supposed to be watching me, but I have nothing to do currently so its the other way around. I'm babysitting my bodyguard.
        "Ew" I scrunch up my nose as he downs one of his hideous smoothies he concocts in a blender but ironically grins, telling me with just a look how much he enjoys it.
       "Hey Stefano, I left the_" Jack pauses at the sight of me "Miss Valentino.." He glances at Stefano disapprovingly "you know your father discourages you coming here. Its not appropriate" that's right. I'm not allowed on this section of the house it being the bodyguard zone. Apparently its unprofessional.
        Stefano just sighs, ignoring the older man's glares "I'll be right back" he tells me disappearing down a narrow hallway. Leaving Jack and me in awkward silence. Its not really awkward, I just happen to find nearly everything awkward.
      He excuses himself and goes the same way Stefano did. I huff both irritably and with guilt when the muffled sound of Jack's scolding voice echoes from where they both went. He's so old, does he have to act so old, I'm bored and I have zero people to talk to, except the guards, most of whom don't want to lose their jobs crossing boundaries with me and therefore avoid me altogether. All except Stefano, who has no choice because he is my personal guard, with me most of the time. But I feel bad because he is not allowed to do a lot of things I drag him into doing. For example, right now. Me being in the kitchen of this wing, very wrong, if father heard of it, his job would be on the line. He won't even let him call me by my first name, imagine this. So I slip away before anything wrong could happen.
       

      Dinner is the worst part of my day. Its a large table piled with loads of food, each of us sitting at awkward intervals, far apart from each other. Some nights we receive guests and the table doesn't look so irrelevantly large, but not tonight. And we barely speak, my parents talk about basic topics, mostly politics and business. I have this strange feeling they have things they Want to discuss but don't because I'm present. The awkward silences are my least favorite accompaniment to the food.
       "So... Are we going to talk about Uni or no?" I speak up from a spoonful of broth.
        "What of it?" My father's smooth yet daunting voice echoes silently. He is an intimidating man, its stilk shocking to me he chose to invest in a toilet paper business instead of something more badass or at least more serious.. Sophisticated and respectable like the man he is. Whats more shocking is how badly in danger we are for owning a successful TOILET PAPER company. Its unbelievable I'm stuck in home arrest because my dad's TOILETRY factory is doing well. Like its a crime to do well, and I have to pay for it.
       "I was hoping we could discuss.." I pause bracing myself for impact "the arrangement." Both my parents give quizzical looks so I just say it "I don't want to be homeschooled like in highschool"
       "Why of course not" my father says, shocking me. But mom being not shocked is alarming , so I wait for the 'but'. It doesn't come, instead my father says "you'll study online"
       I can't help losing my appetite altogether. I suppose I really was looking forward to going to university, physically. It only being an excuse to leave home for once. And maybe even meet people. And make friends. And get drunk, at least once in my life I need to.
       "But father.." I stutter.
       "It's not safe for you to attend physically_"
        "I'll go with Stefano" for the first time ever I interrupt my father. He scowls, but I'm not sure whether its because I cut him short or because I mentioned Stefano and in a way that we sounded like we were friends rather than body guard and ..well... Body (body guards guard bodies, right?)
       "Its Cassen to you. I haven't discussed with you yet on that matter and maybe now I should address it. It is essential for you to remain professional with the bodyguards, no matter how they look" uh geez, I almost roll my eyes at how pointedly he looks at me "or if they are your age"(Stefano is like three years older) "so as to allow them to work effectively and to not be distracted. So no personal relationships with the guards, daughter"
       I'm tempted to retaliate but hold back. "Its not a relationship" I mumble.
     "Whatever it is, avoid it or I might just have to fire him"
     "Do you ever think about how I feel being alone all the time?" I finally have the guts to say.
     My father doesn't waver "being able to be by yourself is a sign of strength" he states.
      "I don't want to be strong!" I suddenly snap. "I want to be happy! Sometimes I feel like you forget that I'm a human being too and I want to live. I want to be free, I want to experience college, that and a lot more. I want to be out there.. Like a normal girl" I finish my life changing speech with a silent sob.
      The table is silent for three beats as I stare hopefully at my placid father. "You're not a normal girl" he finally says.
     Of course what did I expect, when has he ever listened to anyone. When he makes a decision, its final. You can't shake him. He never changes his minds. But right now, I'm feeling just as stubborn. I walk away from the table to show that I'm not happy, further argument would have just resulted in getting scolded by my mother. She is the sweetest human being, you could almost get a toothache being around her. Getting scolded by her feels like a kick in the heart and I'm not ready to be guilt tripped. I'm not changing my mind about how I feel father is wrong.
     Thankfully, no one stops me as I walk out. The presence of black suited men stationed behind the door only adds to the fuel. There is no way I see myself living this way for the rest of my life. I study online and then what next? Will I have to work online too. Oh oh and also get married online??!!! I scoff and shove my bedroom door open, slamming it behind me.
       I do remember my father mentioning an arranged marriage with an equally wealthy family. It was casually brought up and they joked about it with the couple that had visited. I grit my teeth at the thought of them laughing about it, because I really don't think it's funny. I'm not marrying some stranger, or studying online. This time I'm afraid I'll have to defy my father, who's ambience nearly equals that of a god. The way he carries his head high with authority, for just an owner of a Tissue company, I feel they fear him too much. The guards almost tremble at his voice and never question his decisions. And the guards are a bit too heavily armed. But that's just me being observant, my father obviously suffers from paranoia.
         I pull out a ragsack and start to fumble around for necessities. I intend to pack light, but the bag fills up before I even start putting in shoes.

         Maybe I don't need to carry all these chic dresses,,

but what if I get invited to an event,

, by whom?!!,,

I'll make friends,

, okay let me just pick one,,

aw its hard to decide which one, I love them all... EQUALLY, -I add so as not to offend the dresses.

    I'm a total nutcase when I'm by myself. I huff sinking to the floor with the dress in my arms.
       A sudden knock at the door startles me half to death. I scramble around until I've shoved the bag in the closet, the dresses remain on my bed when I shout for mother to come in. I know its her. She's the only one who has a gentle knock. The guards are the WORST knockers in this entire mansion. I don't know if its their strength they can't control or if they just imagine they're the police every time they have to knock on my door, because its always obnoxiously loud.
        "Akira" she walks in, every step as gentle as her voice. She smiles down at me on the floor and then decides to sink down next to me. In her expensive dress! "How's my girl?"
        "How did you last this long in a marriage with such a controlling man" I say bitterly, ready to be scolded for speaking disrespectfully about the god of overprotection.
       Mother just looks rather amused "well since you need tips, I'll tell you. It's just a matter of being patient and being very gentle in stirring him to understand you. He doesn't like to feel defied."
         I frown slightly, is my mother really happy I'm this marriage... Its none of my business, I decide just as mom speaks,
       "I love your father very much, Kira.. We're all imperfect, and when we marry someone we have to learn to deal with their flaws"
      "But, doesn't the other person need to work on themselves too?"
     "Some things are hard to alter. But you should know he was a lot worse when we first met" she chuckles, eyes gleaming with fondness as she probably thinks back. "But, you're nineteen, you're a big girl, I trust you to figure this out"
     "Do you agree with him? About the homeschooling... Again" I roll my eyes to stress my displeasure.
     "I understand both your sides. He wants you to be safe, I want that too.. You want freedom, I want that for you just as badly. But I suppose when it comes down to it, your happiness comes first. "
        Is that code for "go ahead and run from this place like you were planning to"????

      Ding Dong echoes through the house while I'm trying to figure out how on earn am supposed to get a cab this far out in the middle of nowhere. A few minutes later my mother enters my room again smiling almost creepily but then she ushers someone in and I just cant believe I found my ride.

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I'm shook, how have I managed to write this far, someone please give me a banquet and a round of applause and confetti because according to guineas world record, I'm not supposes to be able to write past one third of the first chapter before I dose off at my own boring story.

If anyone at all is reading, I promise not to stop midway