Crookshanks

Dark (as in soot black) Humor

"Jeneveve Lura Potter!" my mother roared. "I swear, drop one more Dungbomb in this house and -"

"I'll be sorry I ever did, I know!" I yelled back, causing my twin brother to snigger uncontrollably.

"Nice one, Jenny," James said, giving me a fist bump. "But this is way better."

He slipped a Filibusters Wet-Start No-heat Firework out of his pocket and tossed it carelessly into the kitchen. A moment later there was a loud BANG, ensued by screams from our mother.

"Completely harmless," he said cheekily. "But possibly slightly traumatizing to the ears."

"Slightly?" I said quietly, raising her eyebrows. "Well prepare for a slightly furious... Euphemia Potter!"

Our mother came storming out of the kitchen, fuming and covered in soot. "Jeneveve, I swear -"

James grinned and slipped out of the room, unnoticed by their mother. "Key to escape - do your prank after you stupid little sister pulls hers."

"Why you -"

"Jeneveve!" mom snapped. "I told you -"

"I know!" I said, trying to make the annoyance in my voice more prominent. "It was James, I swear!"

Mum raised her perfect brows, which were now covered with soot. "Really?"

"I swear!" I said again. "He threw it in after my Dungbomb!"

Mum shook her head. "I don't know what to do with you two," she muttered, stomping out of the room. "James Potter!"

I smiled mischievously, knowing James was currently hiding behind the sofa. "Hey James," I said, just loud enough for him to hear. "Prepare to suffer the wrath of mother."

~~~

James had received the consequence of carrying all of my trunks to the platform. Which wasn't really fair, as I was technically the reason he had thrown the firework, but hey, where was I to be complaining?

The fact that dad had only laughed when mum had told him about this morning's incident had only triggered her more.

But when my best friends Lily, Marlene, and Alice showed up, James made a fool of himself and dropped the trunks he was holding.

"Guys!" I called, and I embraced them one by one, as James continued blushing.

"Hullo, James," Marlene said quietly. "Is, um, Sirius with you?"

We exchanged glances. Marlene, like most other Gryffindors (and Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws) had a huge crush on the infamous player and best friend of James, Sirius Black. However, I was not so clueless I would fall for such a charmer.

"No," James mumbled. "Um, hi Lily."

Lily glared at him. "Call me Lily again and you'll feel a lot of pain."

James blushed. "Er, hello Evans."

Lily promptly rolled her eyes and sniffed disapprovingly, and, holding her head high, passed through the barrier with Alice and I, leaving Marlene trailing behind as we laughed.

"Gosh, Lily," I said, smiling. "James really has eyes for you, huh?"

Alice and I laughed, while Marlene was simply staring at Black.

"I think I'll go say hi," Marlene said breathlessly, walking towards Black.

Alice rolled her eyes but gave Marlene an encouraging smile as she began to flirt with Black, who had just separated from his family.

"You know Jenny," Alice said curiously. "I hear Sirius has the hots for you."

I gave her a look. "You know that's not true, he's hated me since I kissed Regulus in third year. Besides, he's not even that good-looking."

Ok, that was a lie.

Whoa, I meant the good-looking part.

But just because he was handsome didn't mean anything.

We sat down in an empty compartment and began to play Exploding Snap, not really expecting Marlene to show up; last time she had gotten with Black, they had made out and then he had dumped her.

Basically like any other girl who had gotten with Black.

So we were too prepared when Marlene came into the compartment bawling.

~~~

The rest of the ride to Hogwarts was uneventful. We ate about twenty Galleons worth of sweets and pulled a few pranks on Snivellus.

Correction; I played a few pranks on Snivellus. Seeing as Alice was too nice, Marlene was too shy, and Lily was friends with Severus. Oops, I mean Snivellus.

We arrived at Hogwarts, rather pumped for our fifth year. I decided against mentioning James complaints of not being a prefect with Lily before I could be brutally murdered by my own brother.

It was no shock Dumbledore had appointed James Quidditch captain, he was a great Seeker, but I had hoped I would be. After all, I was easily the best Chaser there was.

As we walked into the Great Hall, we took spots as far away from James and his friends as possible.

Marlene was saying she was over Black, and she was going to stay away from him.

"I am so over Black! For real, he is such a di -"

Lily gave Marlene a disapproving look.

"- sappointment," Marlene said. "Like, for real, he - oh shi - take mushrooms Black's coming over here."

I turned and, sure enough, Black was strutting over to where we were sitting.

I sighed before returning to my meal.

"Hullo, girls," Black said mildly. "Hey Jenny."

I glared at him. "You know "Jenny" qualifies as a girl, Black."

He shrugged. "You're different."

I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

"Oh come on, Jenny -"

"Operation ignore-this-bottle-of-toad-piss-in-front-of-me activated," I said robotically, pretending to touch an earpiece.

"You forgot to mention how strikingly handsome this bottle of toad piss is."

I looked at him disgustedly. "Honestly, I don't know how either you or James' heads get off of the ground on your brooms with your big fat heads. Get lost, Black."

Black looked slightly taken aback as he rose slowly and slunk back to James, Remus and Peter.

"Huh," Lily said. "That's not much like Black, is it."

I nodded absentmindedly. Black was never the type to be put down by girls.

"I think he was rather upset to hear Jen say all that stuff, not really what other girls said." Alice said quietly.

I gave her a look. "I see where you're going, but Sirius hates me just because I kissed Regulus once, so why would he suddenly forgive me."

Marlene looked at me, wide eyed. "You kissed Regulus?"

Lily's mouth dropped open exasperatedly.

"Well, I was studying!" Marlene said defensively. "Wait, what year?"

I facepalmed and Lily and Alice began yelling at her simultaneously as Marlene shrugged.

Well, here I was, another year at Hogwarts.

~~~

Author's Note

Hey guys! This is the first chapter of my Marauder's fanfiction, so what do you think? 

This is the same universe as Witch.

xoxo

Claire Luci