You don't know you're beautiful A Harry Styles Fanfaction

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Prologue

15.05.2020

Dear diary.
I know we haven't talked in a while. It's been years, really. But I'm so confused, and I think it might help to write it all down. First of all, I'm still with John, the first and only boy your pages ever heard about. Second, I got acquainted with no one less than Harry Styles. And third, this acquaintance makes me question my perfect relationship. Oh and something else, there's a pandemic threatening the whole world, and America's new president is so dump that his interviews sound like straight up comedies, and those are both tragedies of an immeasurable degree, but since I can't chance anything about that, I will focus on my personal problems.

My growing feelings for Harry.

I want to emphasize, it's not what it looks like. I don't have feelings because he is Harry Styles, I would hate myself, if it was like that. But maybe that would still be easier. If I could just tell John, and myself, that it was a stupid celebrity crush, then it actually might be alright. Hell, I could just put him on my freebies list, John and I joked about that a lot after watching friends, and I told him if he ever has the chance to sleep with Anne Hathaway, he would be mad to not do it, I mean, have you seen her? He wasn't as amazed with my choosing, he just said two out of three were way too old for me, but otherwise he was really chilled about me slobbering over Johnny Depp, Ian Sommerhalder and Cole Sprouse  .

Only it isn't like that, not at all. The fact that I can't stop thinking about Harry doesn't have anything to do with him being absurdly famous, or rich, nor is it about him having a voice that can melt hearts. It's not even about him being the most beautiful person in the world, although he obviously is (ok maybe that fact has something to do with it, but who could ignore the looks of an angel).

The reason he is troubling me in my day and night dreams, waiting behind my eyelids every time I'm not completely focused on something important, is that I think he really opened up to me in the last couple of weeks, and he is not only as funny and kind and intelligent as he seems on the television shows I've seen before I got to know him, but he also seems to be pretty lonely. Not like having no friends, but like missing that one person that he can rely on anytime and with anything, a person with whom he can share his whole life. And that breaks my heart. It makes me want to be that person, show him that somebody like that exists and never again leave him in doubt about that. It's the reason my heart aches and all my body cells crave to be near to him. Although I really love John, Harry is the one I want to make happy. And I can never tell him.