(please note if you read chapter 8 before, i deleted it and made this the new one, most is the same,there is just minor edits,but i do advise to read again (its a bit better this time)
on with the story
~Rowan~
It's been a week since the shooting.
I haven't spoken to Dawson since
Josh is blaming himself and refusing to say a word
Blake is doing better and starting rehab tomorrow, knowing him, he's super positive and trying to make everybody feel better... I wish it was that easy though...
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear the knock on my bedroom door.
Mia
"Hey Row, how you doing?" she asks sounding extremely concerned, like she thinks this was the first time something like this has happened to me, little does she know this is part my day job, it doesn't make it any easier but it makes it less shocking when it happens.
" I'm fine thank you Mia, how's the baby doing?"
"Fine..."
Fine???
Why the actual fuck would she just say fine?!
"Why just fine?" I ask very sternly, showing no emotion whatsoever.
"it's just that...I've been thinking a lot about the dad lately, I mean what if he actually wants to be in the baby's life? I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid, it's just been bothering me more than usual is all, I guess."
Great now I get to talk to a hormonal pregnant teen that is trying her absolute best to annoy me today by blabbering on about an asshole that fucking raped her and yet STILL, defending him. Like today isn't shit enough.
"Well if you told me who the bloody bastard is it might make it easier now wouldn't it, but oh wait you're still defending the rapist for some unknown reason," I say expressionless, showing no mercy, just feeling the hatred building up for the fucker who impregnated my baby sister, at my own party in my own house, yet the part that burns me the most is the fact that I was in that damned house while it happened, probably downstairs just beneath them as it all happened and I was possibly getting drunk off my ass and not protecting her. I could feel my blood rushing through my veins at just the thought of it all playing out.
"you know I can't tell you..." she says, guilt filling her eyes. I look at her, emotionless, knowing that I'm keeping myself intact with only a few strings holding me back before I explode, unleashing every bit of anger that I've been holding back for her and the baby's sake for the past few months.
I can't think of that today, I need a drink, I need a distraction. without saying another word I pick up my beige pleated coat, looking her in the eye as I get ready to walk out of the comfort that is my room.
"where are you going?" she asks as I see her eyes starting to fill up with tears, fuck I hate emotions.
"out," is all I say, walking past her.
"you can't just ignore me Rowan, we are in the middle of a conversation and for you to walk out while I need to talk to you is really immature and childish and quite frankly selfish too."
The audacity and the nerve she has. I turn around looking her straight in the eye with a look of pure confusion on my face.
"I'm selfish?" I ask her sounding as stunned as I felt in that moment.
