Strangers with Benefits (Minji and Yoohyeon)-Jiyoo

11

Bora practically forcibly takes me to different places. Restaurants, movies, fucking billiards.

As a result, we found a cool establishment with a gambling hall. We spent several evenings there, enjoying delicious beer and a console.

Outwardly, I was great at handling all the shit that happened to me, but inside I was still sad and melancholy. My soul was asking for Minji, and I did not understand why my mindless heart is not aware of this fact of self-destruction?

Probably because for many months I flattered her with hopes of a happy future together. I thought that in the end she would accept the invitation and come to me. That we will not only fuck, but also spend time together. That I will learn more about her life and about herself.

But the maximum that I did was just to tell her about myself. Where I live, work, what I do. She didn't pretend to be particularly interested, but she didn't shut me up either. And I didn't ask for more. But she did not let me in. Only a couple of times I recognized some scraps, but this is nothing compared to what she could give me, without sacrificing or risking anything at all. I just failed to convince her that it was not she who should be afraid of me, but rather the opposite. It was she who could hurt me, not me to her. Which, by the way, happened.

Strange, but Minji calls in a week. Then again a couple of days later. And further. But I don't answer. I would change the number so that she could not get through, but I have too many important work contacts, and it's unnecessary trouble to tell everyone the new numbers.

I could block her number and never see her coming in again, because modern technology makes it easy, but for some reason I don't. It's stupid, but it seems to me that we have some kind of connection with her. I am no longer surprised at my weakness. I'm used to her. I have come to terms with the idea that Minjil will always outsmart me, but although I miss her, I see more and more unanswered calls.

And I love her. This is true and I know it. It's funny and totally ridiculous, but it is. And I'm not going to tell anyone about it. Better keep all this shit with me.

And I will hope that Minji will just lose her cell phone in some next club and stop calling.

I drove home, glad that the next working week was over. I have been waiting for this Friday since Monday itself. Because in the past five days, there has been an incredible amount of work, and the customer is an incredible moron. It seemed to me that Bora and I even lost a couple of kilograms from all these nerves and constant stupid comments from the client. But the deed is done, and I am going to my place, knowing that there are two days off ahead. And I'm going to sleep stupidly these two days because I haven't slept much all week.

Bora promised to call in the evening, say the final word of the client. So when the phone rang, I immediately accepted the call.

"If you say that he didn't like it, I'll find his address and burn his car," I said as soon as I answered the call. There was silence in the receiver for a couple of seconds, and I opened my mouth again to say something, when I finally heard a familiar voice.

- Um ... I'm sorry, what are you talking about?

I couldn't believe my ears and immediately looked at the screen. What an idiot. I swore softly and put the receiver back to my ear.

- Sorry, I thought it ... But it doesn't matter. -I thought about work.

- Am I at the wrong time?

Again I thought that I had misheard. Minji for once worries whether she is on time or not? Did the aliens kidnap her there?

-"No, it's okay," I lied. Not fucking okay. I shouldn't have picked up your phone, and in general, why the hell are you calling me?

- You haven't answered for several days. A lot of days. Are you ... avoiding me?

I bet this is almost our longest telephone conversation.

-"No, just a lot of work," I'm lying again.

- So much that you don't even have time to call back? - I hear discontent. Of course, how dare I ignore her.

- I don't think we have anything to talk about, in fact - that's honest.

- Oh, that's how? before that, for several months we had something to talk about, but now there is nothing? - no, honestly, it looks like a family quarrel. And it's getting a little funny. I would like to fight with her. To be with her, to love her, to quarrel, to put up with, because this is all for real. But what is between us is not real. At least for Minji.

- We didn't talk much. It doesn't interest me anymore - it's hard for me to say it out loud to her, but I understand that I have to.

- Oh, - Minji pulls again, - even so?

- Exactly.

- You would at least ... I do not know, would have warned. Informed me.

- Minji.... I thought you understood everything when I gave you a lift from the parking lot. When your car broke down. By the way, is everything all right? Have you fixed it? - what am I talking about now? What car? What do I care?

- Everything is good. Is it because of that brown head fool? Are you serious? Because if ...

- Minji, - I interrupt her, because I don't want to listen. I know what she will say, I know that we are not dating and we only had sex. - It doesn't matter, you can continue to fuck whoever you want. Go to clubs, find new partners, lead the lifestyle that suits you. I don't care anymore. And to "this brown-head fool" as well.

Minji is silent for a few seconds into the phone. I don't know what she is thinking, maybe she comes to after my statement. I bet no one had said that to her before. I don't want her to answer me in her usual manner, so I add:

- I have to go. Sorry, and ... - this is the most difficult thing, but this is the only way I can heal, - don't call me anymore. I will not come again.

Bye

Without waiting for an answer, I turn off the phone and exhale slowly. I made it. I have put this point. I had to get rid of the last thread that tied us together. Maybe now I can finally breathe more freely.

She became a memory. I knew that I would not get rid of her image in my head too quickly, I knew that in a couple of days I would not forget the months of our meetings. And the most offensive thing was that she didn't even give me a chance. I don't know how many people like me she had, but I was pretty sure that I was the only one who did not use her. And I didn't really need a lot. Or a lot? Probably a lot. I needed all of it. And this she could not give me. She never belonged to me. Even the hours that we spent together - only her body was with me. And her soul, mind, everything intangible - remained nobody's and free.