• Poison Apples •

Not Yet

   The last time I cried was a year ago, and that was because I had broken my finger. I'm not numb, I'm just really happy all the time. I'm in my fifth year of Hogwarts, and I'm doing really well. I have three best friends and my life is just like those coming of age teen movies, where life is unrealistically perfect, except, since I was living it, I couldn't call it unrealistic. This is how every story starts, isn't it? Everything ends up going south and for some reason, people keep reading anyway. There's something appealing about reading a story where someone's life just gets fucked up.

   Well, I can only hope that this is not one of those stories. But something about sitting here, watching the light leave my tiny part of the world, and appear for someone else, I feel as though nothing can take this happiness away from me. I know it sounds stupid and naive of me, but I'm too full of hope and joy to overthink whether or not it would last.

   I close my eyes, breathe in, and remind myself to enjoy the moment. As I exhale, my phone starts to vibrate. I let it ring for a few moments as I take a sip of my tea. I then answer, and I'm greeted by a soft, almost too comforting, low pitched voice.

"Hey, Amy" It practically purrs.

"Hey Ced, what's up?"

"I woke up and you weren't here, so I'm assuming you decided to watch the sunset, but curfew starts in.." he takes a moment, probably to check his watch and the schedule. "Two hours" he finally finishes.

"Do you want me to get you a flower crown again?" I say, knowing very well that he was about to ask.

I almost hear him smile through the screen.

"Daisies and jasmines!!" He says, laughing.

"I'll be back in thirty, see ya!" I say, ending the call. I gather the flowers I picked, dispose of my empty orange juice box in a nearby trash can, and walk slowly towards the dormitories. I know for a fact I won't be back in 'thirty'.

✧

   "Hey, Amy!" I hear as I approach the Great Hall the next day.

   "Hey Hermione, have you seen Cedric?" I ask

   "Last I saw him he was talking to Fred and George." She says, walking away with a piece of bread in her hand. Probably going to the library.

   I walk into the great hall and look around. Familiar faces wave at me and gesture at me to join them, and I do. 

   "Hey, how are y'all doing?" I ask as I sit down beside Cedric. A few people say 'fine', others claim they were stressed, but the only answer I really want is Cedric's.

   He looks me in the eyes, gives me a quick peck on the lips, and says "good, now that you're here." with a toothy smile on his face. Okay, that was cheesy, but what can I say.

   "What are you having for breakfast?" He says after a moment.

   "bagels n butter," I say, looking for them. He reaches to his right and hands me a bagel. He then puts a butter knife in my hand, holds it with me, and scoops up butter. After five minutes of struggling to put the butter, we finally get it and he scoops up some butter with his finger and wipes it on my nose. I laugh and attempt to reach It with my tongue but I end up failing. 

   "you're mean," I say with a pout. He laughs as I attempt once again to get it off, and he ends up wiping it with a tissue for me and kissing me softly afterward. I look him in the eye, and I know he's the reason I'll always be happy.

✧

   It's Wednesday, my birthday. I only now remember what that must mean. Cedric is probably planning a massive party in which "everyone is welcome!". Meaning he must have invited people from Slytherin, hence Pansy and her group. Pansy makes being a Slytherin something to be ashamed of, she comes off as rude and harsh, which she is. I've always hated her, and I'm pretty sure she knows that, but she always talks to me in the halls anyway. Part of me knows she only does that because I saw something I shouldn't have at last year's Christmas break, but I like to think she wants to make amends. 

   I try to imagine myself as Pansy, and I realize some may think I'm like her since I'm also a Slytherin, but it's not about whether I'm more like "the boy who lived",  "infamous Draco Malfoy", Luna Lovegood, or Cedric Diggory. What house you're sorted into depends on what morals and goals you put first. For example, being ambitious is just as glorifying as being brave, but which one you would prefer to be is what 'sets you apart' from those who value kindness and/or intelligence. I find being ambitious, looking out for my own, and being loyal as more courageous than being smart and creative. Maybe thinking that was 'Slytherin' of me.

   "Europa is covered in ice." I hear someone finish beside me. I look through my telescope once more and find myself looking at the stars, how brightly they shine, how they illuminate the sky. It's only evening, so I can't see the stars without the telescope, but instead, I can see the sky as it dims. It's a beautiful mixture of purple and orange, and although normally those colors would not go together, they looked beautiful.