The 30 day Self Harm challenge

Day One

Day one's challenge is...

When did you begin to self harm and why?

I started when I was twelve and I'm turning fourteen March 1st. When I started it was because at the time I felt like my friends didn't really wanna be friends with me anymore and I had lots of family issues. I also thought I was ugly, fat, and worthless.

The week I started was one of the worst weeks of my life. One of my great great uncles died, and my friends were all excited about how they all got to be in each other's new classes for the marking period and my first legit crush said he wouldn't date girls with glasses, which was me.

Then everyone found out I had a crush on him and they made me look like a freakish stalker. They all told him, asking if he liked me back and he said no so many times that after that he wouldn't even look at me anymore because he thought I asked all of them to ask him when one out of like ten of them I said could ask him because she was one of his best friends.

Then in one of my classes we were watching a movie for fun so for some stupid reason I wrote down a list of everything I hated about myself the day I found out he hated me. The list took four notebook pages front and back.

I went home that day and thought about it so I broke the razor off of my pencil sharpener just in case. But I never used it. I ended up breaking paper clips and booby pins to scratch to bleeding point. The first time I actually did it was after Before You Exit's radio Disney takeover when I started thinking they would never love me, no one could. So I made four scratches. Within a week my grandpa saw them and my friend Brianna saw them. I had nothing to hide the scratches with.