Daughter of the Naga | Lesbian Story|

Chapter 82

I stayed at the ashram with my mother all night. The King and his second wife left to let us talk in privacy. I started confessing to my mother about my disgraceful sins. How I was brought to the celestial city of Amaravati during the first game and laying with Goddess Kemira. My unfortunate encounter with Queen Sovannmacha, whom I violated with my foolishness in order to win the second game. I also confessed about my affair with my own handmaiden Kesar.

Reliving the memories, I felt my heart crumbling and failing.

"Now you know, I am unworthy of the kindness and honor you do me," I said. The older Queen heaved a long sigh.

"My dear child, if there is a fault in your actions, surely it all belongs to me," she whispered with unwavering compassion. "You and the other children are mere victims of my own doing. It was your mother alone, who has brought you this misfortunes."

"No, mother, do not say so. What you have done is for the greater good." I shook my head as I knelt beside her bed. My throat still burned with the hot lump and tears. "Now what I care above all is Amarisa's happiness."

"Nikita, sweet child of mine, if only you saw her the night before, you would understand her need of you," she said. "She would have gone weeping until she had wallowed herself impotent. Our Amarisa would no longer desire to see the rising of the moon nor the sun had you not been revived."

"But I won't change my mind, mother!" I said, shaking my head. "I wish the Naga Spirit hadn't brought me back! I would prefer a gloomy world below where I would be buried under the pile of my sins. Amarisa's tears are precious like pearls to me, but I have done inexcusable deeds, and I want no torment to befall her heart. The Fate showered me nothing but forthcoming doom. Tell me, mother, why should I give Amarisa, the princess of my own heart, the same despair?"

"O Nikita, my poor girl," my mother wept and reached out to encompass me in her arms. "My deep sorrow for your pains. How I pity you beyond words."

~*~

Through the long night, as I lay awake in my own bed, I tried harder to cast away the thoughts of Amarisa. In the midst of that effort, a dread leaped up like a leopard, threatening to devour me whole.

I knew what I had decided would cause us both a great heartache.

Never once in my life had I experienced this unshakeable hopelessness. Fate had forced me to choose the path that suited its own convenience. Everything had been predetermined by an internal power cleverly camouflaged as my free will. Each decision was a mere bait thrown in front of my path to lure me into behaving the way I wasn't meant to.

The morning turned pale gold. The birds shook themselves in the hedges, all arose and chirruped when the sun hung over the mountains. Amarisa came to my chamber shortly after dawn broke.

"My lady is still sleeping, Your Highness," Kesar's voice drifted from the door. I didn't hear what the princess was saying to her, but not long after, I heard Amarisa entered the room. With my eyes still closed, I could smell her like a flower in bloom.

Her weight settled on the silk-covered bed beside my sleeping form. There was a moment of profound silence, and I could feel her tender gaze on me.

I remembered in a rush all the sweet things we had said and done together. I feared that this perfect euphoria would be broken if I moved, and I would turn everything to stone. Yet a cloak of pale sadness still came to encase my heart for the love I cherished so dearly was coming to an end.

I felt Amarisa's nimble fingers smoothing the hair off my forehead. The gesture was soon followed by a gentle kiss on my lips. She watched me sleeping for a while, not doing anything else.