The One Who Lived

Chapter Five

I woke up at six with a terrible headache. It hadn't been long since I fell asleep so I knew Jack was still sleeping and that girl was still probably with him. I couldn't stand going back into that house right now. I couldn't stand ever seeing Jack's face again. I went to sit in the grass hoping by some chance Aiden would come meet me, but he never did. I hate Jack for not knowing Noah painted, for bringing that girl here and staying out too late. And I hate myself for taking off those clothes. For liking Aiden. For surviving that stupid crash. Why couldn't I have just died? Before I knew it I was asking that question out loud over and over, screaming it even. I was on my knees crying. I think to some degree, I believed taking off those clothes from the crash would help me get myself together but I was still undoubtedly a mess. Eventually, I stopped yelling in agony and just sat there quietly looking up at the sky like I had a few nights ago, but this time, there was no Aiden just me, with tear stained cheeks, sniffling, and desperately wishing Aiden were here, just for the presence of someone being with me, someone knowing I'm still alive.

I had been out there for a while, just sitting in the grass until the back door opened revealing a terribly hungover Jack. I doubt he remembered anything about last night but he woke up next to a blonde so you'd think maybe he'd have a little common sense about what happened.

"Why are you out here so early?" He obviously had no clue about anything from last night.

I stormed past him and into the house, the girl had gone. Was he just hoping I'd forgotten about it? Did he even remember that I was still awake when he got back? No, he apparently didn't as he shouted,"What's wrong?" following me into the kitchen.

"Do you remember anything from last night?"

"Oh I remember Kelsie." He mischievously smiled.

"Anything else? Maybe the fact that you left me here, worrying for hours until you got back, and then once you finally got back you completely ignored me as you and blondie, hooked up."

"I'm sorry alright?"

"No, Jack, no you aren't. You left as soon as our fight ended and-"

He immediately cut me off, "What did you want me to do River? I'm not mom or dad or Noah. I can't just magically fix things like mom and dad. And I don't know how to cheer you up or talk to you about things like Noah. And I definitely wouldn't call it a fight, I saved your life and you get mad. I can't do anything right with you River. Everytime I try to ask a question or do something that I think will benefit you, you get mad at me. I saved your life and you got mad at me! I'm twenty five River, you think I planned to take care of a sixteen year old at this age? I'm not qualified to be a parent! Look, I love you, but I'm not going to let the grief suck me up into this black hole like it's doing with you. It really is like you're falling into a black hole and I'm trying to pull you up, I'm offering my hand but you aren't taking it. Do you want me to get sucked into the darkness too? I get that losing our family is a horrible thing, it's tearing me apart too but we have to go on with life eventually. You can't just let that darkness overtake you because trust me, if you don't try to get out, it will take you."

I stood in silence. Maybe he was right, maybe he really is just trying to strengthen our bond but I'm pushing him away.

"Maybe I should just go live with dad's brother."

HIs face turned sour, "No. Please don't. We can make this work, all we need is time and a little cooperation. We only have each other left. I've lost so many years with mom, dad, and Noah that I'll never be able to make up for. Now is my chance to at least create a bond with you. You're the only family I have left, please, River, I don't want to lose you too."

"Jack I thought you had died!"

"River..."

"I waited hours wondering if I had just lost the last person of my family. I thought about mom and dad and Noah and then I thought for sure I had lost you too. I stood outside like an idiot thinking I'd have to attend another funeral."