lust for life • james cook - skins

19 - eve

I fiddle with the sparkler in my hand, the sound of laughter and music surrounding me. Katie decided to get everyone out camping in Gobbler's End, which is basically in the back-arse of nowhere.

Cook wasn't invited. I wish I could say I was relieved when I heard that he wasn't going to be here, but I can't help feeling disappointed. My heart aches. He doesn't want me as much as he wants Effy.

I look up from my dying sparkler and stare at her. She's high out of her mind off shrooms. I was tempted to take some, but the last time I took shrooms in the woods, it didn't go as planned. Two words: bad trip.

Effy's getting fairly cosy with Freddie. I wrinkle my nose in disgust at the pair as I catch Katie's eye. She's well aware of what's going on, but she's trying to ignore it.

Katie makes her way over to me, crouching down in front of where I'm sitting. "You okay?"

"Could ask you the same thing," I smile at her pitifully.

She scoffs. "It's whatever. She's just a slag."

I don't respond. I don't agree with that word. Having boys want her doesn't make Effy a slag, though she needs to make up her mind. She's hurting so many people.

"I don't get why she feels the fucking need to always be on something," Katie spits, glaring at Effy, who's in the centre of everybody, laughing loudly.

I shrug. "She's got a lot of problems. Drugs help distract her from them, I guess."

"Suppose," Katie responds, clearly not agreeing. She stands up, wiping bits of leaves off of her jeans. "You want a sausage?"

I hesitate. My appetite has been gone the past few days, I've just been sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself. I only realise now how little I've eaten since I last saw Cook.

"Yeah, sure," I grin. "Go on."

"Okay, one second," Katie smiles and heads over to the small fire where JJ is cooking sausages on a fork.

I watch as JJ hands her two and she heads back over to me, holding out one sausage on a fork.

"Thanks, Katie," I say as I take the sausage from her, blowing on it lightly to cool it down. I notice Panda sitting by herself beside a tent, looking forlorn.

"Should we call her over?" I point my fork at Pandora.

Katie stares at her. "What's going on with her? She's so sad recently."

I shrug, despite already knowing the answer. "Dunno."

"Panda!" Katie shouts at her, and Pandora looks up, giving us a small smile.

Katie pats the ground beside her, but Pandora shakes her head.

I sigh. "Can't be helped."

"Yeah," Katie nods, staring at Effy again.

"Ignore it, that's what I do," I advise her, watching as she stares at Freddie and Effy interacting.

To be fair, they aren't doing anything wrong, just laughing together as friends. Well, 'friends'. You can tell how badly they want each other, and I know Katie knows this, no matter how hard she tries to deny it.

"Cook?" Katie asks, tearing her gaze away from her boyfriend and Effy to look at me.

I stiffen, not wanting to talk about it. "What about him?"

"You still like him?"

"Of course I do," I sigh wistfully. "But he likes her."

"Dunno how so many girls fucking love him," Katie sniggers. "He's repulsive."