One Time Thing

I could feel his eyes on me. He was glaring. A look that could burn holes in someone and make them wanna piss their pants. Not me though. I turned my head, glancing back over the shoulder of the girl on my left arm, meeting his gaze. Yeah, I've seen that glare enough times to know that it's harmless. My best friend's bark is a hell of a lot worse than his bite. I did have to admit though, I wasn't sure just what the look was for this time. I usually got given it for the likes of not doing my half of the chores, forgetting to buy toilet paper, or making too much noise late at night. Our eyes met for a moment and I felt my heart speed up. Had he found the the pile of his underwear I'd accidentally turned pink? I thought I'd hid it so well.

"Oppa," the girl on my right pouted, tugging insistently at my shirt sleeve to get my attention back. She giggled and batted her eyes at me, still dressed in the revealing outfit and thick make-up of the back-up dancers. "You were going to get us more champagne," she reminded me coquettishly.

"I was?" I asked, deciding to forget about WooHyuk. There was a goofy grin on my face as I slid one arm around the girl's waist, and one arm around the waist of girl on the other side of me. "What do I get in return?" Both girls giggled and one tugged teasingly at my collar while the other touched my belt. "All right then," I agreed. God damn I love being a teen idol.

I strolled to the open bar, whistling to myself, glancing around to see how my other band mates were making out. Our concert after parties could get pretty intense. The massive rush of adrenaline we all get from being in front of a huge crowd of fans doesn't drop the minute the concert ends, and though it may seem like all of us would want to drag ourselves to bed and pass out, we're teeming with energy into the night.

I looked over to my left, catching sight of HeeJun drinking himself into happy oblivion, bottles of soju and shot glasses littering the table he now slouched over, though he was still making a pretty good go at tipping another drink down his throat. He never lets himself drink when we're promoting or preparing for a concert, and I guess he feels like he has to make up for lost time.

"Hey man," I greeted him, coming over and clasping his shoulder. "Don't make yourself sick. You don't want to puke in KangTa's car like last time." KangTa, who was fluttering nervously around HeeJun, clearly wanting him to slow down but unsure how not to sound uptight doing it, gave me a grateful smile. I smiled back, though I was laughing on the inside. If anybody would burn off an adrenaline rush by worrying all night, it would be KangTa.

"Don't worry," HeeJun told me cheerfully. "I've learned my lesson. I've set a limit this time. As soon as I can't feel my legs, I'll stop." He made a line in the air with one hand, but the effect was marred when he almost lost his balance from the wild motion. "KangTa!" HeeJun cried, as KangTa helped to steady him.

"What?" KangTa asked nervously.

"What is JaeWon doing over there!?" he bellowed loud enough for the whole room to hear, pointing towards the other side of the room where JaeWon was busting some moves for an appreciative female audience.

"He's dancing?" KangTa ventured.

"Right! Dancing!" HeeJun yelled with conviction, hitting his fist on the table. "And why aren't we doing that right now!?"

"Uh...," KangTa stuttered. He looked at me imploringly but I shook my head and raised my hands. I had better things to be doing than trying to keep a drunken HeeJun in line. Besides, HeeJun might drive him crazy, but I know KangTa secretly loves taking care of him.

I whistled to myself as I continued on to the open bar and snagged two champagne glasses. I turned to see where my lady friends had gone, but instead found myself face to face with WooHyuk. He looked pissed.

"Uh, hey WooHyuk," I coughed. He was still glaring. "Look dude," I started, raising my hands in a pacifying gesture, "I'm really sorry about your underwear. I know I'm not supposed to wash reds with whites, but you were the one hiding red underwear in your white ones!"

"What?" he asked sharply. "Tony...," he trailed off shaking his head as though he should have expected such a thing from me. "Look, whatever. We're going." He grabbed my wrist.

"Buh?" I asked cleverly.

"I said we're going home."

"Hey!" I cried, indignant, trying to wrest my hand from his grasp. "If you wanna go, go. I've still got plans. I said I'm sorry for butchering your laundry, I'll make it up to you sometime."

There was a long pause, and I could see his eyes flashing beneath his mop of blonde hair. I wondered what the hell was up with him. He wasn't exactly the sweetest of guys, but he usually didn't act like this.

When he finally spoke his voice was very quiet, for my ears alone. "Can you do me a favor, this once?" The near desperation in his voice startled me. I looked at his face, trying to determine what was going on. He stared back at me, revealing nothing, and out of curiosity as much as anything, I nodded my head. In the few years I've known WooHyuk, I've never heard him beg me for anything like that.

"All right, " I said. "I guess I owe you anyway. Hey, are you ok?" I peered at him, concerned.

"I'm fine," WooHyuk dismissed, turning abruptly. His hand was still clasped on my wrist and he all but dragged me out the door.



"So," I hummed at him from the passenger seat as he drove us home. I wasn't really angry at him for dragging me away, though I was disappointed that my night wasn't going to end quite how I'd imagined. I was still wide awake and energized though. "Is there a reason you so desperately needed me to come home with you?" I asked him in a teasing voice. WooHyuk mumbled something incoherent and I rolled my eyes. "Dude, sometime you should lighten up a little you know. Have some fun. Get laid." That got his attention. He looked at me sharply and glared. It made me grin.

WooHyuk has always gone for the innocent type of girls. The type who blush at the mere thought of holding hands. I myself like older women, ones who now how to give me a good time. I sometimes think WooHyuk thinks I'm loose, but he's a prude anyway.

"Maybe that's what this is about," I said, deciding that he deserved to be teased for ruining my evening. "Was I flirting too much with one of the ones you like?" WooHyuk ignored me, though I could tell he didn't like my teasing. His hands where turning white on the steering wheel.

He pulled us into our parking lot and stopped the engine, but I continued my verbal assault even as we got out of the car. It was way too easy, and way too much fun. "Oh no, I get it, I get it. WooHyuk, you really don't have to keep it a secret. If you wanted me all to yourself tonight, you could have just told me." I batted my eyes at him. Going inside and kicking off my shoes haphazardly as he sat down to remove his in that ridiculously meticulous way of his, I leaned down and said in his ear, using my most seductive bedroom voice, "Oh baby, I'm ready for you." I brushed my lips against his neck. The way he jerked away from me as though he'd been electrocuted was priceless.

He whirled on me. "Don't," he said, his voice dangerous.

"Don't?" I asked, blinking my eyes innocently. I wanted to see how far I could push him before he couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to see him lose his cool. "Why not?"

His glare was back. But it seemed different now. It had an edge I hadn't seen before, and suddenly I was struck with the idea of WooHyuk actually secretly craving me all evening, until he was finally pushed to the edge, to the point where he lost control of himself and ravished me. The thought made me want to laugh and purr at the same time. Laugh because it would be so damn funny to think of WooHyuk, WooHyuk who could barely look at a girl he liked without blushing red, losing control of himself over little old me. Purr because I admit, I've had my fantasies about him.

It's not as if I make a habit of getting it on with other men. I know I had that one freaky sex dream about JaeWon, but that was more like a freak accident than anything else. (I couldn't even look him in the eyes for a week after that. I'm not sure he noticed though; he is quite a bit taller than me.) WooHyuk however, had long been my secret little exception. That's normal though, I'm sure. Everyone must have fantasies about their best friend. Right? Right. In any case, when it comes to sex, I've never been all that hung up about it. Sex is fun and feels good. If I'm attracted to someone, even if it does happen to be a guy, there's no reason not to go for it. Not that I actually thought he would ravish me, but there was no harm in trying for it.

"Because I don't like it," he answered, standing up.

"Don't like it?" I continued coquettishly. I traced my finger over his collarbone, tugging gently down at his shirt collar. "Come on, you know you do."

"Tony," he growled in a very low voice, grabbing my arms in a bruising grip, as though he were going to shake me. "I said stop it."

"Maybe I don't want to," I purred, moving closer to him, feeling his body heat wash over me. Blame the adrenaline, and the fact that my mind had been so focused on sex earlier that evening, but after having those ideas about WooHyuk possibly wanting me, I wanted him more than I ever had. "You're the reason I'm not getting laid tonight. Don't you think you should be the one to keep my company?" I whispered as I brushed my mouth over his prominent adam's apple.

With a hiss he released my arm and grabbed me by the shoulders, and I was suddenly a little scared that I'd gone too far. I had no idea how he'd take having a guy really come on to him. Hell I didn't know if he was taking me seriously or if he thought I was just fucking with him to piss him off. (In all honesty it was a little of both.) Sure I wanted to see him lose his cool, but I didn't want to get his fist in my stomach. I've been down that road once before. I don't know how someone with such delicate looking hands could punch the wind out of a guy with one blow. I might have asked at the time had I not been rolling around on the floor gasping for breath.

"Stop fucking around," he hissed in a dangerous, low voice. To my surprise, instead of pushing me away by the shoulders, he actually pulled me a little closer as he spoke. Maybe he thought it was more intimidating when he was in my face, but when I looked up, our mouths were so close I could feel his hot breath on me. I looked into his eyes, and the tension between us grew.

"I'm not fucking around." I lifted one hand and placed it on his chest, excited and fascinated at how warm it felt, how it rose and fell with WooHyuk's breathing. He looked down at my hand, eyes growing wide for a moment, then looked back at me. I knew he could see the heat in my eyes then. He had to. Because suddenly his lips were on mine, his tongue in my mouth.

I'd never been kissed so aggressively, and I liked it. I pushed myself against him, kissing him back with the same aggression. If it hadn't been so hot I might have found it funny that I was getting the best kiss of my life from a guy who I might have bet money on not having ever kissed anyone.

When WooHyuk finally pulled his mouth off of mine my lips were bruised and tender, and I felt as though I'd melted. Our eyes locked for one intense moment. I slowly leaned forward, wanting those lips on mine again. WooHyuk seemed to understand, and he pulled me back up against him by the shoulders, devouring my mouth.

Instinctively I put my hands on his waist and slipped them up under his t-shirt, stroking his white skin. I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing, but he began to pull at my shirt, and suddenly we were scrabbling at each other's clothes.

The next thing I knew I was on my hands and knees on the carpet with my pants and boxers down to my ankles. "WooHyuk?" I managed to ask. Of course I knew where this was leading, but the idea of WooHyuk actually having sex with me wasn't being accepted by the logical part of my brain. I wanted it though. I didn't have to understand it to like it.

WooHyuk answered me with a grunt before standing and leaving the room. He reappeared before I even thought to wonder where he'd gone, kneeling behind me. I bit my lip, squeezing my eyes shut tight as I felt first his fingers slide inside of me, and then his cock. I groaned because it ached badly at first. I'd certainly never had anything up there before. WooHyuk seemed to know what he was doing though. I don't know how or why, but I was grateful because it wasn't long before I forgot anything had hurt at all. His hands gripped my hips as he thrust in and out of me in a rough rhythm, driving me straight to cloud nine.

I had yet to wrap my mind around the fact that this was really happening and wasn't just a fantasy, and I wasn't sure who could have replaced my friend who blushed when a girl smiled at him with this sex god, but honestly, comprehending it could wait for later. All I could focus on for the moment was WooHyuk's cock driving me insane, feeling so damn good that I couldn't believe I'd never tried it with a guy before. I panted, gasping loudly, feeling my body being rocked back and forth, until finally, lip caught between my teeth, I came. I probably fucked up the carpet with that, but at the moment I was beyond caring. I shivered, feeling his sweat drip onto my back, as he continued to move in me, not saying a word, hardly making a sound, until he shuddered and I felt him come inside me. He collapsed against my back, still for a long moment, his head resting on the carpet next mine. I turned my head and caught his eye. He seemed vulnerable, lost somehow, and for a moment I felt connected to him, felt closer to him than I ever had.

Then he turned away, extracted himself from me and stood. Without a word he left the room, leaving me a quivering mess on the floor.

"Jerk," I managed to mumble, a bit miffed after thinking I felt close to him like that, but actually not really caring too much. The sex had been amazing, and if WooHyuk wasn't a cuddler, well, he wasn't a cuddler. After a few moments I heard the shower start to run and I shakily got to my feet, stumbled into my bedroom and fell into bed. His smell was still all over me, and I dreamed about him.


The next morning I got up early, feeling relaxed, rested, and more than a little sore. I wasn't mad about it though. It had been worth it. Just thinking about last night made me shiver all over in the most pleasant of ways. I grabbed a towel and waddled to the bathroom to take a shower.

The shower seemed to ease my suffering, and I was walking pretty normally by the time I made it to the breakfast table. Good thing to, since WooHyuk was already there, mulling over a giant mug of coffee. I gave him an easy grin, which broadened as I saw him immediately look down at his mug in response. He seemed unable to meet my eyes. He was being shy, how cute. I grabbed myself a bowl and began paddling rice into it from our rice cooker, pondering suddenly over the fact that I knew next to nothing about WooHyuk's personal life outside of H.O.T. He was very private and shy over such matters. I had seen him holding hands with girls before, so maybe he was bi. Or maybe last night had surprised him as much as it had surprised me.

"So," I said casually as I took a seat at the table, "last night was pretty wild huh?" WooHyuk did not look up or answer, but pulled his coffee closer to himself. "Don't worry," I told him, trying to put him at ease, "I very much enjoyed myself. We should do it again sometime."

That seemed to have some effect. WooHyuk froze, then stiffly set his mug down, his face still lowered, hidden from me beneath his long blonde bangs. "No," he said flatly as he pushed away from the table and stood.

"No?" I asked, a little stung, but trying to make light of it. "I was that bad huh?"

"Look," WooHyuk said with a snarl, his fists turning white as he clenched them, "what happened last night was a one time thing, understand? It won't happen again. And we won't speak about it again either."

"Wha..." I started, flabbergasted, but he'd already stormed out of the room. "Well...fine! Bastard!" I bellowed after him. I turned back to my breakfast, telling myself to forget about it, but for some reason I just couldn't. After a few measly bites I slammed my chopsticks down on the table. My forehead followed suit.

The one thing I had never wanted was for things between WooHyuk and I to get screwed up. I guess I should have realized beforehand that sex complicates things, especially between friends. I should never have thought that WooHyuk would be just fine and dandy popping into bed with me. I'm certain that our ideas about sex and intimacy varied wildly. But thinking about that sort of pissed me off. He was the one who kissed me first! He'd wanted me just as badly as I'd wanted him, so he didn't have the right to punish me like this! I've had my share of rejection, but nothing so heartless as they way he'd done it.

It wasn't as if I expected a love affair with him, or even that we might start some type of physical relationship either. But even if he was shy or timid about it, I had expected some kind of positive acknowledgment. Some validation of the fact that we both had the hots for each other, and that we'd acted on that and it had been good.

I suddenly froze, then covered my face with my hands as I realized something awful. Just because I'd had a good experience last night didn't mean he'd had one. It made perfect sense. I suddenly felt utterly humiliated, because I'd so clearly expressed my pleasure to him, and the whole time he must have been thinking "I'll never make this mistake again." I hit my head on the table again. Feeling like a mistake is the worst feeling you could ever have.

"He could have at least let me down lightly," I told myself miserably. "He didn't have to make me feel like piece of shit."

There was only one thing to do when I felt like this. I dumped my dishes into the sink childishly, knowing he hates it when I don't wash what I've used, and stomped into my bedroom where I fished out my cellphone and dialed. I needed a date.



"So, where've you've been lately" The question was asked cooly, but with a note of mischievousness. "I've missed you, you know."

"Sorry YuJin," I answered lightly with a flirty smile of my own. "I've been busy with work. I have a break now though. I have a whole week off." I let my grin grow, leaning forward on my elbows over our table in the secluded corner of a little cafe. It was old, run down, and I often wondered if I might be their only patron. I doubt the aged owners even knew who I was. That's why I brought all my dates here. So far I'd never been seen. "I wanna spend today with you."

"Well," she pouted cutely, primping her hair, "All right then."

"Your place?" I asked with a wolfishly grin.

She slapped my arm sharply, but there was a smirk on her face too. YuJin was a graduate student at my University, five years my senior. She and I had been dating casually for a few months, nothing either of us considered to be very serious, but we were having a lot of fun. She had the most amazing bedroom skills. After this morning, a tumble with her was just what my bruised ego needed.

We made it to her apartment and I followed her like a puppy into her bedroom. She brought her lips to mine in a soft, candy sweet kiss, before turning around to pull her blouse over her head. I however, frowned. When she'd kissed me, it hadn't been there. That spark. All I could think of was how it paled in comparison to the aggressive way WooHyuk had kissed me. I shook my head, trying to shake those unwanted thoughts from my head.

YuJin turned back around, now half naked, and pulled me down on top of her on the bed. I ran my hands along her bare sides, but my fingers were sweating. Something wasn't going right. 'Woman. Boobs. Vagina!' I told myself frantically. 'Person who actually WANTS to have sex with me!' But the feeling of WooHyuk laying collapsed on my back, breathing hard, and the image of his lost eyes at that moment kept flashing through my mind as I looked down at YuJin. After a minute I sat up with a frustrated sound. I grabbed the pillow and threw it with all my strength onto the floor, then sat on the edge of the bed and sulked.

"Tony?" YuJin asked, also sitting up. "What's wrong? Did I bend Little Tony by accident?" she laughed.

I coughed and shook my head. Even though we had a laid back relationship, I still felt humiliated. I was the one that had called her up. How was I going to explain that I suddenly wasn't in the mood?

"Uh... I think I'm coming down with the flu or something," I partly lied 'Partly' because I also wondered if I really was sick. Maybe with some kind of affliction of the brain. "I just can't focus." I shook my head again, trying to clear it.

"Oh," YuJin sounded disappointed.

"Sorry,'" I apologized sincerely. "Next time, ok? I promise."

'Well, all right," she told me, though I could tell by her voice that she wasn't very happy with that. She had the right to be unhappy though. With a busy celebrity like me, 'next time' could mean anything from a week later to a month, or more.

'Well fuck,' I thought as I headed out to my car. What was wrong with me? Whatever was going on, I did know that it was WooHyuk's fault. It was his fault for making such a big deal out of a little thing like sex. If he hadn't freaked out and emotionally traumatized me, I'm sure I'd still be in perfect working order!

It was suddenly clear to me that I had to confront him. If I just knew why, just knew what was going on in that head of his, knew what he was really thinking about me and about us, then I think I can get this out of system. And maybe, he and I could patch things up as well. I'm not going to let one shitty morning-after ruin my life!

I determined that I would talk to him as soon as I could. I nodded my head to myself, proud of my decision, and stubbornly ignored the fact that it hadn't been how WooHyuk had flipped out on me the morning after, but thoughts of the way he'd kissed and touched me, and that look in his eyes as he lay on top of me afterwards, that had distracted me so badly when I was with YuJin.


WooHyuk wasn't home when I got there, so I plopped onto the couch, flipped the television on, and prepared to wait. Thankfully the front door opened straight into the living room, so there was no way he'd be able to give me the slip.

It was several hours before he finally arrived. The sun had already disappeared, along with my patience. Honestly, he was never there when I needed him! He entered quietly, and looking over my shoulder surreptitiously at him, I saw him peer around, as though afraid that his presence would be found out. It was obvious that he wanted to avoid me pretty badly. I turned my head forward so that he wouldn't notice me looking at him, keeping my ears alert. As soon as I heard him finish taking his shoes off and begin to creep towards the hall, I spoke.

"WooHyuk, we have to talk." I turned, looking him directly in the eyes. He had a classic deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, and I felt a little sorry for him. But not as sorry as I felt for me.

"We don't have anything to talk about," WooHyuk said, gathering his wits about him and replacing his shocked expression with one of cold indifference. He turned and tried to leave the room.

Furious, I shot out of the couch and bellowed, "If you don't talk to me, I swear to God I'm gonna fuck up AL L your laundry! Everyone will laugh at your pink underwear! I'll shrink every one of your t-shirts!" I swore under my breath as that tactic had no effect on WooHyuk. He continued to walk away from me without even the slightest hesitation.

'Fine by me,' I thought, irate. If he didn't want to talk in the living room, we could talk in his bedroom. I followed him down the hall and into his room, only to find that he'd gone through his room into his bathroom and closed and, I assumed, locked the door. I didn't actually check to see if the door was locked. I was persistent yes, but I wasn't gonna risk the chance that he was actually doing his business in there. I most certainly didn't want to see him doing that. Bleh.

I sat on his bed and very graciously gave him a few minutes of peace. Eventually I heard the shower being turned on and groaned. I flopped onto my back amongst his pillows, noticing the collage of posters of American hip-hop artists tacked to his ceiling. Funny that I'd never noticed those up there before. When I thought about it, there was a lot about WooHyuk that I didn't know. I let out a puff of air. He and I had to work this out. Not only for the sake of my impaired libido, but because we're best friends, and I couldn't let us fall apart over something like this.

His room was colder than mine, and knowing WooHyuk, I'd be waiting a long time, so I took the liberty of pushing back his covers and crawling in. I laid my head on his pillow and closed my eyes.

I wasn't asleep when I heard the bathroom door open and WooHyuk step quietly back into the room, but I laid on his bed without moving or making a sound. I wanted to see what he'd do about finding me still there, and in his bed no less. When we'd first met, before we'd become as close as we are now, I'd noticed that WooHyuk would only relax and be himself around me when he thought I wasn't paying attention to him. I was hoping that just maybe, if I stayed 'asleep' for awhile, I would get some clue as to what he was actually thinking about me. Then again maybe he'd just roll me off the bed onto the floor. It was a risk.

I heard his feet padding closer, and I did my best to keep my breathing even and my face slack. His feet stopped moving. I could hear him, standing by the bed behind my back, and though I couldn't look to see, I felt his eyes between my shoulder blades. He was silent for a very long time. Eventually the bed shifted with added weight, and I knew that he'd sat down.

'What are you thinking?' I wondered to myself. It was both strangely thrilling and strangely frightening for me. I had no idea what WooHyuk was going to do, especially since he thought I was asleep. My palms began to sweat as I waited, and I suddenly had the stupidest urge to squeeze my eyes closed tight and make fake snoring noises. WooHyuk's not far wrong about me when he says I'm just an overgrown kid, but I'm not going to deny that the urge to be silly just then had less to do with childishness and more to do with the fact that I was afraid. I wasn't exactly sure what I was afraid of. I felt split. One half needing to know WooHyuk's mind, the other dreading to know it. My desire to know won over though, and I managed to restrain myself.

After what seemed an hour of agonizing in my head, but was probably only a few seconds in reality, I felt his hand touch my arm, cool fingers light on my skin. "Tony," he spoke in a tired voice, "I know you aren't asleep."

My eyes popped open wide. "How did you know!?" I demanded, a little steamed to realize that I hadn't been fooling him.

"Because you snore when you sleep, Tony." There was a very small smile on his lips.

"I do!?" I asked, momentarily horrified. "How come you never told me before!?" His smile grew.

WooHyuk has been my friend for a few good years now, and I could tell that he hadn't meant the words unkindly. I probably should have been relieved to hear them even. WooHyuk's brand of teasing is a little in your face, but I don't take offense. He doesn't tease anyone but me like that, and I know he can do it because he's comfortable with me. Him teasing me meant we were 'back to normal'. But at that moment, I didn't want us to be suddenly 'back to normal', because I knew if we didn't get this out in the air it would just hang there between us for years like a dirty secret. I didn't want having sex with him to become a dirty secret. I didn't feel dirty about it. Far from it. We needed to work this out properly and if he thought he could just sweep it under the carpet, then he had another thing coming.

"So," I began, choosing my words carefully, "that's why you didn't stick around last night? You thought I'd ruin your beauty sleep?" 'That's it,' I told myself, seeing him stiffen at my words, 'go straight for it.'

"I said we weren't going to talk about that." His voice was cold as ice, but I could see him twisting his fingers together, something he only did when he was painfully nervous.

"Look," I said sharply, "I know you think it was a big mistake, but we can't pretend like nothing happened! We need to talk this over."

"There's nothing to talk over. It was a mistake."

Though I'd assumed as much, to hear him actually say it still stung. "We should still talk," I began in a much smaller voice, "about why it happened, and what it's gonna mean for us. I mean..." I looked down, feeling painfully self conscious, "I don't want to lose my best friend over a mistake."

WooHyuk was silent for a moment. When he spoke again his voice was calmer. "It wasn't your mistake. It was mine. I'll deal with it, so don't worry about it."

"What do you mean don't worry about it?" I asked, not at all happy with the idea of being a big mistake that WooHyuk had to deal with and starting to feel angry at how self-centered he was being. "You think I'm made of stone? I couldn't even get it up with a girl today because I was too distracted thinking about what happened with you! This isn't just about you, you selfish clod! I was the one you stuck your stupid penis in, or did you forget that part!?" I heaved for a moment, seeing red.

WooHyuk licked his lips, another nervous gesture. "Look," he said, his voice having a distinctly lost sound to it, "I...I'm not gay all right. I wasn't supposed to have sex with you." He ran his hands through his hair, and I could see the turmoil on his face. "I thought...just kissing you once would be enough." His voice shook as he said it.

I raised my eyebrows. That was certainly NOT what I had been expecting to hear from him. This was a whole different can of worms from the one I'd been prepared for. "You mean..." I began cautiously, not wanting to put my foot in my mouth, "you wanted to kiss me? That's why you insisted I come home with you?"

"No," he shook his head, sinking back onto the bed and putting his head in his hands. I suddenly felt both closer to him, and further away, than I ever had. "I just couldn't stand seeing you like that with those girls who didn't even know you. It wasn't until we got home that I..." He trailed off, apparently unable to say again that he had wanted to lock lips with me. "Just that," he said miserably, "was supposed to have been enough."

Feeling like I was in a dream, I moved closer to WooHyuk, putting my arm around his hunched back. "It's ok you know," I told him. "I know it's kind of scary, but there's no harm in being attracted to a guy. Sex isn't that a big a deal...."

He cut me off, shoving my arm off him. "No, it IS that big a deal. I knew it wouldn't be to you. I knew you wouldn't really care. But to me, it was a really big fucking deal ok!?"

I blinked, taken aback. "Who says I didn't care!?" I defended, but a part of me was registering what he was saying. I suddenly remembered the casual way I'd talked about it to him that morning, how I'd said 'we should do it again sometime.' 'But to him,' I thought, as understanding of just what was actually going on with him began to sink in, 'to him it was something confusing and frightening. He doesn't want to want me this way, but he can't help it, and I just blew off what happened as casual sex.'

"You just told me you tried to sleep with a girl today already!" he accused. "I don't really see how that's caring about it!"

"Well you were the one who flipped out on me this morning," I said, abashed. "I only did that cause you made me feel so shitty. I thought seeing me disgusted you ."

"That wasn't it," he said, shoulders sagging. "I just....I didn't know what to do. I honestly thought you wouldn't really care. Since you..." he paused, licking his lips again and glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"You can say it," I told him. "Since I sleep around a lot." He shrugged and nodded his head. I shifted my legs so that I was sitting next to him, my thigh touching his. "So was all that a really roundabout way of letting me know that you have a little bit of a thing for me?" I asked, trying to be tactful.

He twisted his fingers together, then let out a short huff of a laugh. "More than just a bit I think. I'm not gay though!" he defended, more to himself than to me. "There's just something about you that's different," he finished in a small voice.

"Well," I answered, deciding that if WooHyuk was brave enough to bare himself to me, then I could find the strength to admit to what I was realizing that I actually felt for him, "I'm not gay either, but I've had a pretty bad crush on you for awhile now. And I think," I paused briefly, looking into his eyes, "if it's ok by you, maybe we could make this more than a one time thing? Maybe, we could make this a pretty long time thing?"

He lifted his head, his eyes wide with the unexpectedness of the question. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yeah. I think I really do," I said, surprising myself by how much I really did mean it. Girls had come and gone in my life, but I had been close to WooHyuk for a long time, liking him, caring for him. And slowly, overtime, my feelings for him had grown. Maybe it wasn't love exactly, I mean come on, up until last night I'd been thinking of him as my best friend and impossible crush who I only secretly had fantasies about. But there was a spark between us that I could feel, and I didn't have any doubts that my feelings for him would blossom under his care.

"I guess we could try it then," he whispered. I know he hadn't been expecting things to come to this between us. Maybe he'd hoped for it, but he'd never expected it. I could tell by the way his white hands shook, and the way his eyes shimmered with moisture as he leaned forward and brushed shy lips over mine.

"Yes," I agreed, smiling as he pulled away, "let's." I slipped my arm around his waist and leaned against his shoulder. "WooHyuk, can I ask you something?"

"Ok," he answered, very cautiously putting his hand around my waist in reciprocation.

"How on earth did you become such damn good kisser and where did you learn...well you know!?"

"From my old girlfriend," he answered me, shrugging his shoulders. He tried to appear nonchalant, but I could tell he liked my praise.

"Wait," I blinked. "You had a girlfriend!?"

"Yeah back when I was in high school. What, you honestly thought I never had one?" There was a little smirk on his lips.

"Well , yeah!" I exclaimed. " Since you never had one that I knew about, I just thought you were a complete prude!"

WooHyuk looked at me quietly for a moment, as though considering something, and then he spoke. "You know, the reason for that was you Tony. Because from the first time we met, I felt confused over you. And when you were around me, no one else could catch my interest."

I flushed, unprepared for what was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. "Damn, now I have a lot to live up to, don't I?" I joked.

"Don't worry, I already know you can't do laundry, so I don't have high standards," he deadpanned.

"Whatever," I pushed him playfully, knowing he was teasing me. "Do your own laundry if it's that big of a deal."

"Nah," he said, letting a genuine smile form on his lips. "I honestly kinda like my underwear pink." He leaned over and kissed my lips, and I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.