Triple trouble plus one (marauders era HP)

Lonesome

What part of you was the saddest? Was it your heart wanting to be loved? Wanting to be loved so much that it hurt to know no one liked you that much? Your heart knowing that Remus didn't like you anymore and wondering why? Did he outgrow you or were you just getting uglier? Was your heart hoping that maybe it was a certain black haired fuckboy who played with girls hearts like they were the box and he was the clown? All fine and swell until he popped up and suddenly everything was over. The song was over or the game was over.

You had exited the conversation when Remus had said it was him who used to be obsessed with you. You just couldn't wrap your head around how lily said someone WAS obsessed with you and not was obsessed if you know what I mean. Believe it or not there's a difference. You really just wished everything was over sometimes. This whole school year just seemed off. Your friends were acting weird the whole year so far and it seemed everyone knew why everyone was acting the way they were except for you.

Something deep inside of you told you that maybe you were hoping Sirius black would come out and say "oh yea it's me I'm obsessed with you. Surprise! Maybe I won't be real your heart maybe I will guess will never know." You pushed that thought to the back of your head. Being honest it scares you a little bit.

Days went by and those days turned into weeks and before you knew it a month had gone by since the at conversation and everyone was still awkward.

You entered your potions class which was of course taught by Slughorn. You were getting sick and tired of these classes luckily this was one of the last few days of school for 6th year.

You read the board and automatically assumed that your eyes must have been playing tricks on you because it couldn't have been true. The board said that you were doing amortentia but you weren't supposed to do that for another year. Maybe he forgot to erase it for a class of 7th years and had yet to change it for your class.

"Hello class, we are going to make amortentia today. I know we were supposed to wait until next year to do this but headmaster Dumbledore believes you are ready to do this. So let's get started. Can anyone tell me what amortentia is?"

Surprisingly Sirius raised his hand. He never raised his hand in anything mostly because he never actually really had the answer to the question because he was blanking out.

"It's one of the most powerful live potions. Smells like anything you are attracted to." He sounded groggy. Bit just groggy sleep deprived and the kind of sleep deprived where you haven't gotten a good night sleep for a full month.

"Very good Mr.Black. So pull out your textbooks and let's get started in this."

Everyone cut and chop and heated and poured everything until the potions were made. At least some of them a lot of them weren't really correct. Sirius and Remus seemed to have made a good potion probably because of Remus. James and lily also seemed to have a good potion on h with hands. Once again probably only because of lily.

"Mrs.Y/l/n can you tell me what you smell in your potion today."

You leaned over and took a smell.

"I can't smell anything professor." You lied.

"Well that's a lie I can smell it perfectly fine. Your potion was made correctly."

"I would just prefer not to share if that's ok."

He nodded his head and went on throughout the class calling on some other kids.

As soon as the period ended you were out of that classroom before someone could even say mugwort.

"What did you smell you have to tell us you had icky promised earlier this year." Lily said pulling you into a room. You didn't see her even coming.

"What? No I didn't."

"Yes you did you woke up from your nap on the couch and we were watching thin we asked who your crush was and you said you didn't know and that the only way to tel if there was a secret one was amortentia. Well now we made it and you basically said you'd tell."

"Merlin lily fine I smelled smoke and sugar."

"Y/n! That's Sirius."

"Yea I know Lily and he will never know neither will Marlene."

Lily didn't really heed your wanting for after you said this she left. She didn't just leave she went and found Sirius black. She didn't say much to him except the words smoke and sugar. He knew though. Even though he couldn't ask her because she left with James he knew.

He actually spent all day searching for you but you were in the girls dorm all day. One of the few places he couldn't actually get.

And you were planning on staying in that bed until Monday came and it was time to leave Hogwarts.