When preparing to attend AA and therapy meetings, you never deeply thought about how difficult it would be to balance your life out. Your weeks consist of AA meetings on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and therapy sessions on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You go to sleep at 10:03 every night and wake up at 5:30 every morning. It's a cycle and you're utterly exhausted.
You have weekends, where you spend them with Reid, and the activities you partake in are quite repetitive, but you don't mind. To be blatantly honest, you absolutely hate your apartment. Every time you enter anywhere but your room, your mind spews flashbacks of "the night."
You've considered about moving into a new place, but not right now. It'll add on to the list of problems you stress over.
A clap brings you out of your thoughts and you look up, Raven looking around at all of you with a wide smile. "Alright you guys, that is it for today. We have some snacks in the back as well as coffee," she says, pointed towards the back of the room.
You nod and stand up, grabbing your coffee from the floor. You walk over to the trashcan and throw your cup away, quickly moving aside as someone moves in behind you.
You turn around and Raven is the person who's presence you felt not too long ago. The smile that's plastered on her face sends shivers down your spine. It seems so fake- like she's forcing herself to appear happy.
You press your lips into a thin line, lifting your hand and giving her a short wave. "Hi."
Her hands are interlocked in front of her, resting on her brown top. "Hi Y/N, how are you?"
"I'm doing fine," you reply.
She nods, "Good, that's good."
Your eyes bounce from her deadening smile and the dozens of hotline posters behind her. She continues her stare, her eyes burning into your skin. You tap your fingers against your thigh and keep the silence for a short moment. A quick question rolls into your mind and you break the silence.
"Hey, Raven. I-- um, have a question," you say. She nods, and you continue. "I kind of know what you're going to say, because well, I've done my research but-" you bite down on your tongue, stopping yourself from blabbering. "What do you think about relationships while recovering?"
She sighs, her smile disappearing. She clicks her tongue, her cold hand reaching out to yours. "Well, you must know that it's not a good idea to get into one if you're recovering. Maybe try a year after sobering up."
You swallow the growing lump in your throat, your mind beating you up as you look at Raven. Your eyes flick down to her red painted nails, the manicure chipping away. You don't want to hear that, you want to hear her say that it's allowed.
"Well, there's this guy who is helping me sober up and," you hesitate. "We've been good so far, and my urges have gone down because of him. He's better for me, you know?"
YOU ARE READING
CHERRY FLAVOURED || Original
FanfictionEver since Y/N joined the bau, Reid has found a way to make her life a living hell. He doesn't understand her nor wants to, not until he overhears a conversation which makes him think otherwise. She isn't a quiet, genius FBI agent, she has problems...