The Journey of Love

The Journey of Love part 1

Intro

What you are about to read is a love story. Let me prepare you in advance, this story will not end the way that you expect. When we met, I was young and had never experienced real love. He was older and charismatic, I never stood a chance. He was sweet and funny, everyone loved and respected him. On the surface he was everything I could ever want and for a while, everything was like a dream. But like all dreams, it came to an end. Somewhere along the line something changed, something that to this day I still can't pinpoint. The names in this story don't matter, because this story could happen to anyone. It's messy and complicated, a whirlwind of beauty and pain that created something that had never existed, something that never will again. It's been many years, but it's time for this story, my story, to be heard.

Summer 2015

It all began with a few random texts with content like, "Hey nerd, whats up?" I found it strange since we had never really spoken before but I wasn't complaining. He was older and attractive and there was no way I was saying no to him talking to me. After a few text conversations I finally saw him on Sunday morning in church. I could feel him looking at me and I felt drawn to him as well. I had seen him around for a few years but never really thought of him much since he was so much older than me. After church that Sunday he came up to me.

"Hey, nerd." he said with a smile that lit up the room.

"Hey, meaniebutt!" This had become my nickname for him, it was the only thing that my fourteen year old brain could think of. He smiled in a way that made my embarrassment about the nickname completely disappear.

"You were in track last year, right?" he asked, already knowing the answer. I nodded and he continued. "Well, I've been wanting to find a running buddy, are you up for it?"

"Yeah, of course, I love running," that was a lie. I hated running, but I knew that he loved it and I wanted to get to know him better so I agreed. His face lit up as he replied.

"Awesome, we can talk about the details later," he turned to face me as he was walking away, "bye nerd."

He turned around before I could respond, but to be honest I didn't really care. A cute, older guy wanted to hang out with me. I was elated, and at that moment nothing else in the world mattered. I didn't hear anything from him until late that night.

"Hey nerd," I smiled at the nickname, I knew that he didn't mean it in a mean way. "When do you want to go running?"

"I'm pretty busy during the week but weekends work pretty well for me."

"Okay, how about Saturday at 1pm?" I could feel the excitement bubbling inside of me but I tried my best to contain it.

"That sounds great!" A small squeal of excitement escaped me before I continued. "I should warn you though, I am very out of shape, I will not be able to keep up with you."

"I'll go easy on you nerd."

"Not too easy I hope," I replied feeling very insecure about my attempt at flirting.

"Never." With that I went to sleep filled with excitement for Saturday and everything that it held for me.

Saturday took so long to come around but when it finally did I could not have been more excited. I got dressed in my running gear hours before we had agreed to meet. I tried my best to keep from messaging him but around 12:30 I couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey, let me know when you are on your way!" My heart was pounding as I waited for a response. About 45 minutes later I finally got a response.

"Running a little late sorry!" My heart fell a little bit. "I'll be there soon."

I waited another 45 minutes until there was finally a knock at the door. At this point he was over an hour late but when I saw him, I didn't even care. I ran to the door and flung it open. "Hey," I said, trying not to sound like I had just sprinted to answer the door, "come on in." He stepped into the house and shut the door behind him. "Go ahead and sit for a second, I just have to get my shoes on." He sat down on the couch and looked around anxiously. I heard footsteps behind me followed by his voice.

"Hey pastor!" I turned around to see that my dad had walked into the room. They continued in friendly conversation as I finished tying my shoes. I jumped up from the couch and looked at my dad.

"We are headed out now. We should be back in an hour or two." I turned to face the guy who should not be giving me as many butterflies as he was. "Ready?" He smiled and nodded, saying goodbye to my dad.

We left the house and shut the door behind us. When we finally pulled up to the track I suddenly felt very unsure of myself. This really cute, funny, older guy was about to see 14 year old me huffing and puffing, my face bright red except just around my lips where they turn white. I found myself regretting the decision to go running rather than do something that wouldn't make me look like a sweaty tomato. However, it was too late to back down now, we were already walking down to the track from the parking lot.

"You ready for this?" He asked jogging backwards away from me with that cocky smile that he always wore.

"Sure," I said smiling, "as ready as I'm going to be." I mumbled the last part under my breath. I took a deep breath and started to jog to catch up to him. After only running for about thirty seconds I started to get winded, and after a minute I sounded like a squeaky toy.

"Do you want to stop?" He asked slowing his pace. I stopped running and braced my hands against my knees and nodded, trying to catch my breath.

"I told you," I gasped for more air, "I was out," gasping for air again, "of shape."

"Clearly," he said teasingly. I looked up and glared at him. "Why don't we just walk for a bit?" He asked seemingly amused.

"Yeah," I said still struggling to breathe, although I wasn't sure if it was from running anymore, "walking sounds good." We walked for a few more minutes talking about anything and everything. He was easy to talk to and he made me laugh like no one else I'd ever met. I had had crushes before but none of them felt like this. He made me feel normal and out of control, when he was around butterflies filled my stomach. I didn't know what would come of this, but I knew I'd find out.

We left the track and drove back to my parents house about forty five minutes after leaving. We walked in the door and my dad seemed surprised.

"That was fast." he said stopping in his tracks.

"She had a hard time keeping up," said a voice behind me.

"Shut up," I replied playfully. He smiled at me as he said his goodbyes to my parents. I walked him outside to his car. "Today was fun." I said, not sure what else to say.

"We should do this again sometime" he responded with a slight smile.

"Maybe not the running part though," I said half embarrassed.

"You afraid I am going to beat you again?" he asked playfully.

"No," I replied even though he was right, "I just don't think running and I are compatible." He laughed, his smile made my heart flutter.

"Alright, how about the beach?" he asked "Does that sound doable?" He stared at me expectantly.

"The beach sounds great." I replied, feeling the butterflies going crazy in my stomach.

"Cool, until next weekend I guess." He said, opening the door to his car." I waved goodbye as his car left my driveway and waited until his car was completely out of sight before heading back inside