here i am with arms unfolding

one

All Eret remembered the day after was the rain. Isn't that just what heartbreak does to a person? Every little thing tainted, the world passing in slow motion, and yet feeling all too hasty. He wasn't quite sure what he had been feeling, all Eret remembered was the rain. He had woken up to the wind rattling his windows, and had fallen asleep to its gentle patter. Every other emotion he had purged from his memory.

On the second day Dream came over to visit. He congratulated him on a job well done, handed him an engraved dagger with his name on it. Eret kept him around for tea. Dream probably thought he'd done so for formality's sake, but truthfully he just couldn't take the emptiness of the castle anymore. Every wall felt a little too far apart, each sun drenched couch missing a sleepy fox dozing on it. So he and Dream made small talk, and then when he left, somehow the place felt even more empty than before.

Each day that passed felt a little lighter than before, until life without Fundy had felt, as it had been before, normal. Sometimes the immense sadness would settle on him before he even realized it, and he'd spend the afternoon consumed in longing, and then regret. But mostly, life continued moving. Maybe he was moving on too.

At Least that was what he had convinced himself of. As the tensions between Dreamsmp and L'manburg died down, he had started to creep back into his old routine. He hung out with his old friends again. Tubbo excitedly showed him his pier, Niki would catch up with him over coffee. And then every once in a while, he'd spot him. Fundy. Tubbo would bring Fundy along, and both of them would dart their eyes to the floor, and hastily one of them would find an excuse to bail. Nikki would bring him up in conversation, and the mention of Fundy would freeze Eret in place, breath caught in his throat. In most ways life was back to normal, in all the ways that mattered most to Eret, it wasn't.

So every day dragged on, until one day, Eret woke up and felt ready. He got up early and walked down the wooden path, with a brand new confidence. He knew Fundy walked down this path every morning. And yet, as soon as he saw him walk down the path, eyes fixed to the ground, every feeling of bravery evaporated. Frozen in his tracks, Fundy walked past him. So Eret crumbled, sitting down in the dew stained grass. He took off his glasses, they were getting wet.

A week passed. Every day he would get up and walk down the wooden path, hoping whatever was keeping him from speaking up would leave, and every day he would watch Fundy walk past, frozen in his tracks. Every time he let him walk away it felt like Fundy was getting farther and farther away.

A new day, a crisp morning, only this time he was walking down the path with Tubbo. They were chatting about their day, how to best catch a fish with your bare hands, and random hypotheticals, so really they were talking about not much of importance at all. And as they climbed up the hill, an orange fox in a dark grey hoodie appeared in front of them.

"Hey Fundy!" Tubbo said, making Eret freeze in place. Fundy looked up from his feet, glancing at Tubbo and then clearly looking past him to look at Eret. Eret took a quick breath and looked away, hands balled into fists.

"Hey Tubbo." Fundy said, voice even and unreadable. "What are you up to?"

"Not much at all frankly, I've just been catching up with Eret here. Anyway, do you think that the best way to catch fish with your hands would be with gloves or without gloves? Eret thinks gloves would just get in the way but I strongly disagree."

Eert could tell Fundy wasn't listening, and he didn't like the feeling of his eyes being fixed on him.

"Uhh, yeah. I don't know Tubbo, you're the fish expert." Fundy said.

"Yes! You know I am something of a fish expert!"

And somehow, in that moment, he found the will Eret had been missing.

"Um, Tubbo? Could you leave me and Fundy alone for a second? I need to, uh, talk about something with him." He could feel Fundy's stare as he spoke those words.

"Uh yeah, sure." Tubbo said, saluted them with a goofy grin, and walked off.