I sit in bed,holding onto my phone like its my life.I lay here waiting for a text that's never gonna come.
I sit here thinking of him.His smile,his eyes,his laugh,his voice,his heart.I wanna cry but smile.I wanna fly but fall.I want to love him but he doesn't love me.
We've been friends for 6 years.He has gone through a lot of relationships. While I stay here single. I think I'm afraid of love.I don't know whether to give my heart out or keep it locked in.I feel my phone vibrate.I look to find out its from him.
Him:Wyd
Me:Thinking, hbu
Him:I'm thinking too
Me:what r u thinking about
Him:My gf
I shed a tear
Me:who's ur"gf"
Him:Avery
Me:r u guys official?
Him: yea,I really love her Kay.She's so beautiful, smart,talented and she actually loves me back.
My heart crushes to a million pieces. Now I'm sure I wanna cry.Now I'm sure I wanna fall.Now I'm sure he doesn't love me.
Me:im happy for you.
lies
Him:thanks i appreciate it.
I sat here waiting for a text that was suppose to make me happy but instead i get stabbed in the heart with a dagger.I cant believe that I thought he loved me.I cant believe I let myself fall again.I let myself fall for him,I let myself drown. I'm drowning and there's no life saver.
I begin to think of our friendship. Did I waste my time?Did I become close just to be broken?
Why do I love him?
Questions run through my mind,I feel my heart drop to my stomach, my eyes begin to water,my hands fumble with my phone.I finally let out a loud cry.I begin hunch over and scream.I feel so much pain within my heart,I feel so much hurt. Usually I would've called him if I was in this state of being.But of course it would be wrong to do that when he is the cause.
Me:ok I'll leave you to it,gn
Him:okay gn
