the diary logs || semishira

pills and rings || day 6

a/n: before you read i just want to point that there will be pan*c att*cks, and migr*ines.

may 3rd 2012, 10:29

dear diary, i had more pleasure with semi last night. it was very fun! that's all i wanted to say. oh and i might have stopped taking my anxiety pills but, whatever right?!

i made sure nobody was around to see me put away my diary. today was going to be the last day at tendou's, and semi. i left the room after making the bed, and decided to take a shower. the water was a nice temperature, not too hot or cold. i wet my hair then my body, i noticed i had a little boner so i took care of that. i first washed my hair with some shampoo i brought, then rinsed the cum that was on the wall. while i had the conditioner on, i brushed my teeth. i started to get tired so i finished up and got out. i looked at my pills, am i sure i wanna do this? yes, i will. i throw them out, making sure nobody else sees them.

i notice that semi went in the bathroom after me, i started to panic.. what if he sees them? will he judge me, what will he do?! my mind was swerving with questions, and then he calls my name. i walk slowly to the bathroom in embarrassment. "what are these?" he asked while holding up the pills, i look up shyly. "why did you try to get rid of them? they're important, you know that right?" i nod, i could hear that he was concerned. i take them, thinking he'll leave but he watches me. i don't wanna take them, i just want to get rid of them.. i had to take one since semi wouldn't leave until he saw me swallow it.

it had been 13:32/1:32pm, we decided to go to a restaurant. ushijima decided to pay for the group. i got chicken tenders, with mashed potatoes and corn on the side. i still felt tired but not as much, i started to see black dots and rings.. i excused myself to the restroom and felt my head, it was hot. i texted my mom and she said she was on her way, i felt upset since i had to leave early. i started to get a panic attack, and get dizzy. i stayed in the stall until my mom got here, i texted semi to tell them that i'll be leaving early.

semi luv ❤️
14:13

semi baby, can you tell the others i'll be leaving early please?

yeah ofc, are you okay?

yeah i think i'm starting to get the side effects of not taking my pills..

you WHAT?!

..i stopped taking my pills for the past days ive been at tendou's..

SHIRABU KENJIROU ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF SUFFER?!

no..

shirabu love, sweetie, papas, it's okay! i'm sorry i overreacted, just make sure to take them when you get home okay<3

okay, can you pack my food for me.

yes ofc, ily

ilym

i head to the door, bumping into semi who had brought my packed food. i kiss him goodbye and leave.

(in-person conversation)

"how was your time?"

"it was so fun mom! i had such a blast, we did plenty of things."

"well *hiccup* i'm super duper happy you had fun!"

"mom are you okay?"

"i'm just happy to see that you're happy.. and spent time with your friends!"

*smile*

later when we got back i decided to take a nap.