The moon has my heart

Past Birthday

Chapter 4: Past birthday

Everything was so random. Thinking about the days where I find myself longing for someone.
Chats unread, active status off, notifications blowing up. Ignoring things around me turned out to be good, somehow, I still find myself longing for her.

The morning shined, but no signs of you. Looking in the sky full of loneliness in my eyes. Oh how could I tell myself that I miss you more than you know. The only thing I could do is try to make myself happy as if you were here, when the truth, no— you weren't here. Not in my arms.

She was the reason why my morning was good. Waking up knowing she is with you was good. When you open your eyes, you see her smiles and her soft scent. Her genuine reaction to every thing I said was somehow... adorable. Though, I feel myself reaching the limits.

Was my love too much or too less? Maybe I was stupid to let myself fall deep in the dark with my love for her. My lovely smile falling apart as I remembered the things before. 3 years, 3 years ago about Soojin unnie....

Jan 6

"I love you, Soojin."
His hands wrapping hers as I watch from afar. Her gaze towards their hands warming each other. Her lips, rising up into a smile as he kissed her hands. As if they looked like a couple. Sometimes I wish I disappeared from this place, not wanting to see this. But what could I do in a world that is cruel.

"I love you too, Hui.." I hate to see how happy she is with him. It was something, like betrayal. I thought she was honest that she wasnt having anyone in the past but as I dig in her life, I realized..

'Everybody can lie without knowing they are hurting people..'

If only I had a reason to forget, I would do it right now.

They laughed happily as they embraced each other, though I felt so down, and sad while looking at them. I needed to accept this dark reality that I will never be hers and she could never be mine. My dreams with her were useless to be true. My lonely nights was full with her, her face looked so perfect in my dreams that all I did was stare at her beauty. But now, she was in front of me, holding a man.

My eyes following her and him. Her smiles could be seen. I never thought her smile could even hurt more, stupid. I never thought that the person who told me special things was now with someone else's arms. I remember her eyes looking for my reaction when she hugged me close

"It isn't hard to like you too, shu. One day, I will like you and will keep you in my arms. Like maybe in your birthday! Maybe I will start to like you" she smiled as she pressed a kiss on my cheeks.

Today... is my birthday

In a blink of an eye, I see Hui and Soojin enter a car, letting Soojin go inside first. My trust issues around my loved ones has always been there and I will take the risk just to protect them with. My bond with them will never be forgotten. I felt myself breathed hard enough to release my anger towards the view I am facing. I gripped onto myself. Taking a step further though...

I could see in the window, their eyes closed. Holding her hair and cheeks. A small smile before they leaned in. My heart, what was this? Anger? Jealousy? Sadness? Empty? How can I explain this when—even I cant explain myself?

I fumbled backwards holding onto myself as I blink out tears. I felt myself dropping though before that, Someone pulled me in a hug and covered my eyes.

"In January 6, She played with you."

My birthday was on January 6, where I never knew she fooled with me.

Pic for todays chapter: