Among Us Logic Stories

Captain's Birthday Party

Two weeks before his birthday, Captain wrote out invites to his party. It was going to be at his favorite pizza place, which was Cici's Pizza and it was going to be awesome. He was looking forward to eating pizza and playing arcade games with his fellow crew, including his best friend Player. After he finished decorating them, he put them in the mailbox to be sent out. Nobody was going to not notice how sparkly and caked in glitter they were when they received them.

----

As it drew closer to his birthday, no RSVPs were made. Captain got nothing but radio silence from everybody as he went about his business like usual around the Skeld. He figured it was because they were all deciding what super cool presents they wanted to give him at his party. After all, it was going to be the best party ever. He was sure of it. Hell, Captain even ordered a chocolate cake ahead of time for everyone.

On the day of his birthday, Captain went to Cici's by himself. Maybe everyone was going to meet him there. But, there was nobody there except him and a couple of employees. No worries, perhaps they were running a few minutes late. But nobody ever showed up. Suddenly, there was a message on his phone from Goober. It said:

I didn't want to come. This place sucks. Happy birthday anyway.

Ok, admittedly he didn't particularly want Goober to come to the party anyway, but it still hurt anyway. He only invited her out of pity because she was always getting made fun of by the rest of the crew.

Captain went up to the buffet to grab a couple of slices of pizza since he was hungry. He looked around at the different options and decided to go with BBQ chicken. He walked back to the table with his plate and continued to look through his phone while he ate some food.

*sigh* "Where is everyone?" he mumbled to himself.

He waited around for a bit, hoping for someone to show up. But much to his disappointment, that didn't happen. He realized he looked a bit awkward just sitting there by himself, so he looked around the buffet area for more pizza. After all, it was one of his favorite things to eat so he might as well at least enjoy the pizza. He returned to the table with two slices of mac and cheese pizza. It was a weird flavor according to a bunch of people he knows, but he likes it so their opinions don't matter.

He looked rather sad as he ate his pizza, losing hope that anyone would ever walk through the doors.

Captain decided to go play arcade games for a bit. There was a racing game that looked fun, so he dropped in a quarter and hopped behind the wheel to play. He was at the starting line waiting for the game to start.

"3! ...2! ...1!" the announcer in the game spoke. "GO!!!"

Captain floored the gas pedal and tried to steer around the track, crashing into a wall.

"This is fine." he said, "They don't call me Captain for nothing."

He spent the rest of the game trying to get back on the track while the other cars kept going by. By the time he finally got himself back on the road, the game had ended and he was in last place.

----

"Ok. Maybe today's just not my lucky day." he thought. "I'll just have some cake instead."

Captain opened a box to reveal a delicious-looking chocolate cake with sprinkles. He stuck some candles on it and lit them. Unfortunately nobody was there to sing happy birthday to him. He was going to have to do the honors himself.

"Happy birthday to me~ Happy birthday to me~ Happy birthday to me-eee~ Happy birthday to me~" he sang, rather half-heartedly. It would've been a million times better if at least someone else had joined him for his party. Especially if that someone was Player. Oh well, he wasn't going to share his cake if nobody could be bothered to show up.

He cut off a big piece for himself because chocolate cake is the best kind in his opinion and dug in. It was rather tasty, but even the richness of the chocolate wasn't enough to distract him from the fact that it was his birthday and nobody cared enough to show up to his party.

He went straight to bed after getting back to his room and cried himself to sleep that night. It was the worst birthday ever.

----

About a week later, he ran into Player at Medbay while doing a scan. He finally had a chance to mention his recent frustrations. As he finished his scan so Player could start his, he started talking.

"I couldn't help but notice you haven't been showing up to our daily best friend picnics. I waited for hours."

The red-clad crewmate replied, "We don't have daily best friend picnics, Captain."

"No, because you never come to them! That's what I'm saying."

There was a moment of silence between the two before Captain spoke up again.

"You know, I couldn't help but get the feeling that I like being your friend a lot more than you like being mine..."

"When you don't come to our daily picnics, or Saturday night bingo, or my birthday party, I can't help but get the feeling that you don't like me very much..." he sighed.

As Player finished his scan, he noticed two dead bodies at Captain's feet. He immediately reported and everyone met in the cafeteria.

----

"Everybody vote out Captain! He's guilty!" Player shouted.

"I saw him kill PoopyFarts and Goober." he accused. Technically, that wasn't exactly true because he was doing a Medbay scan and couldn't exactly see in front of him as it was being done. He was the only other person in the room though, so he was awfully suspicious, completely disregarding the fact that Captain had finished his scan just as Player walked into the room.

Captain, feeling betrayed, retorted, "Wow, Player. You know, it really hurts when your best friends don't show up to support you. This is like my birthday party all over again."

Everyone voted in favor of kicking Captain into the cold depths of space. But before getting kicked, Captain interrupted, "Wait! Before you kick me out, you all did get my birthday invitations, right?"

Mr. Cheese chuckled, "We all got the invitations, Captain. Trust me." He was still sort of covered in glitter roughly 3 weeks after receiving the invitation because glitter can never completely be gotten rid of. It is the stuff of evil.

"Oh, I see." Captain responded, with an expression of being let down by his fellow crewmates just before getting thrown out the airlock.

----

"We really should have gone to his birthday party." Player said.

"It was at a Cici's pizza, Player. Gross!" Veteran responded. "If he really wanted us to come, he would've had it at Golden Corral."