He is my first: my first dance, kiss, love, and heartache. I love him, and deep inside myself, I know my heart still longs for him, even after four years.
But now he is the piece I no longer want to be a part of my life. Masiyadong masakit ang aking pinagdaanan at ang ipinaramdam nila sa akin. It took years before I build myself again.
Halos araw-araw akong umiiyak noon, kahit pa tinanggap ko ang alok ni Tita Brenda na magtransfer nalang din sa pinapasukan na University sa Manila ng aking pinsan na si Xeilyn, ay nakatatak sa aking isipan ang aking naabutan.
I throw a lot of questions in myself, na tila ba bumalik ako simula sa umpisa. Ano ba ang nagawa ko na mali? Is it because of my ugliness that's why he cheated on me? Bakit parang kahit ginawa ko naman ang lahat, pero hindi pa din ako naging sapat?
Sa bawat pag-ihip ng hangin, gumu-guhit pa din sa puso ko ang sakit, tuwing naaalala ko kung paano niya ako napasaya, at kung paano niya din ako napaluha.
After being a licensed teacher, and when I started teaching at a secondary level, I told to myself that I need to forget him, that he's like a page in my story that I need to tear away, burn, and just look at how the wind will going to sweep it away from me.
I cover my face with my right palm when I see the flash come from Jen's phone. She's been my friend until now and at the same time my co-teacher.
"You looked gorgeous Hulya! Until now I can't believe that you're going to be like this." I leaned on the chair where I'm sitting now. We're here on the terrace of her house, I'm with Raldon.
I'm just wearing a love pink plain wrap dress partnered with my pink suede sandal, I put the other part of my hair at the back of my shoulder, which is now already reaching my waist, with a light brown color and a wavy tip.
"She is." My eyes darted to Raldon.
Back then, I thought that the world is so wide, but I realized now that it's too small. We met in the same University in Manila, where he's studying as an Architect student, but then we're both busy, especially that I already have my field study that time, ngunit nitong nakaraan na taon ay nagkita kaming muli at mas dumami ang mga araw na kasama ko siya.
"Siguro kung ganito na dati pa itong style nitong si Hulya, mas mahaba pa sa EDSA ang naging manliligaw nito." I crossed my legs.
"I don't want to change my style back then Jen, because I'm comfortable wearing just a plain shirt and a jogger. Ngayon naman ay sadyang na-agos lamang ako ng panahon kaya ganito na ang style ko."
"Wow, that's the one I like about your attitude, Hulya." I gave him a warm smile.
I got hurt, so much. There's a lot of people bullied and judge me along my journey. Dumating ako sa punto na napatanong ako kung bakit hindi na lamang ako katulad ng ibang babae na maganda? But I chose not to change myself just for the sake of other people, kasi sayang lang din. Ang katotohanan, kahit ano pa ang itsura mo huhusgahan ka pa din ng ibang tao, so why bother changing my style right?
"Alam mo, bagay talaga kayo nitong si Raldon." Humarap sa akin si Jen.
"He's your first crush, right Hulya?" Napamaang ako sa sinabing iyon ni Jen.
"Really?" Napahimas ako sa aking sintido, hinarap si Raldon na malapad ang ngisi sa labi.
"N-Noon pa naman iyon," pagsasalita ko at pinanliitan ng aking mga mata si Jen.
"Why don't you try to be in a relationship?" Jen giggled.
"We're just friends," tugon ko at nagtama muli ang paningin namin ni Raldon.
BINABASA MO ANG
A Hopeless Wind (NEUST Series #1) (COMPLETED)
Teen Fiction| This story is dedicated to those who have been bullied and have broken confidence. | Juliana Pamintuan is just an ordinary girl who's studying at Nueva Ecija University of Science and Technology. A girl who has very low self-confidence, often timi...
