In love with a demon. ((Ciel X sebastian))

do i really love a male?

i wake up in the morning to birds chirping and the sun seeping though the curtains, i yawn and stretch, sitting upwards. i look around, i couldnt see sebastian and i sigh, i think "guess he didnt sleep in here..." i look down at my sheets, then beside me, i saw on my beside table, layed a black crow feather and a note, i picked up the note and it read.
"Dear Master, sorry about last night and what you had to see, but im telling you now, those tears were the tears of a demon. it is very rare for a demon to cry, as they shouldnt show emotion towards a human being. but. i love you, and i want to show my emotion towards you because im yours, and you are mine, i cooked you some nice breakfast, come up and enjoy.
Sebastian."

i dropped the note, covering my mouth as sobs came out and tears rushed down my face. "o-oh you..stupid butler..." i heard a knock on the frame of my open door, i gasp as i heard someone say. "stupid am i? i expected as much..." i turn around and Sebastian was smiling, but his smile faded as he noticed my tears. "m-master whats wrong" i ran up to him, hugging him tightly. i could feel his warmth and him gasp, i could even feel his heart beating slightly faster now that i have hugged him. "im sorry! im so sorry! dont ever leave me Sebastian!"
ugh, im starting to act like alois.. clenching onto his god forsaken butler.. crying into his clothes.. all of it.. ugh. but... i knew how he felt.
i couldnt help it...
Sebastian's arms slowly wrapped around my frail body. "its okay boccan.. just breathe.." i could tell he was trying to keep his cool, so i took this to advantage, by reaching up and pulling his hair, making his gasp. "o-oh.. m-May i ask w-what that was for?" i let go, teasing him as i hug him again, burying my face into his torso. "was.. just bored..." he smiles slightly, i could tell his heart was beating even faster. "d-do you wish to not b-be bored boccan?" i realised what i was doing and cleared my throat. my voice changing to a stern one. "d-dont be stupid.. damn butler.. go and fix my bed. then make me tea.." i walk away, and by now i know what he is doing, he is smiling, bowing too. "yes..master."
as Sebastian turns around, I hear him mumble in a deeper tone. "but please young master.. don't tease me like that... your frail little petals will start to fall of your delicate stem, delicate indeed but surrounded by thorns.. a truly remarkable personality, you can't hide a thing... young master.." I gasp softly as he looks back at me with lust in his eyes, the eyes a light colour, that of magenta. "now hurry along.. before your breakfast gets cold.." his words made my heart beat faster. but I ignored the pace of my racing heart, and headed for the door, and into the kitchen.
as I entered the kitchen, Sebastian poured me a earl grey tea. "today's dish is scones, filled with jam and cream, master?, is this to your liking?" I gulp as he hands me the tea, and I sit on my chair. "yes.. this will be fine.. now.. order the servants to clean up the manor.." I look at the table infrount of me with disgust and slide my index finger along the furniture, I then reveal a dust covered finger tip to Sebastian. "this is hardly acceptable. if they can't clean, you can." he nods and bows, smiling slightly. "yes.. my lord." he then walks out the door.
I put my tea down as soon as he walks outside and I look down at my shaking hands "w-what's wrong with me..?" I looked at my food, why i wasn't hungry. I had no idea. "well.. whatever it is... it has to stop.." I had a slight idea on what was making me this way.. well.. not a slight idea, I knew... I knew why I was like this.. it was Sebastian.. and how I.... "love him.." I gasp again and cover my mouth as I said what I was thinking outloud at the wrong time, Sebastian was at the door. "m-master?" I gasp and look to the side, seeing my butler. "s-Sebastian!" Sebastian blinks "you...r-really do like me?" I growl, obviously embarrassed. "n-no! I don't! I wasn't talking about you!" my cheeks were a bright red. "n-now go away! I'm busy eating!" he takes two steps closer. "but you haven't touched your food..." I growl louder, getting frustrated. "grr! fine! I'll just stay in my room! don't you DARE stand a foot in my room!" I can't avoid him forever though... hell dammit.. (get it? xD ain't no god in this mansion.) Sebastian runs toward me as I try to run the other way to my room. "no!, master!!" his arms wrap around me, I felt his body on my back. "last time when you d-did that.. you-" I interrupt him. "no! I'm not an idiot! let me go!!" his grip gets tighter. "I'm sorry master.. that's something I can't do.." I have to admit I loved the feeling, it almost made me shudder, but I can't feel like this, it's... not right...?" I was confused.. but I couldn't be in his embrace any longer.
I growl. "Sebastian! I order you to get off me now!!!" his eyes turn magenta and he reluctantly backs away. "yes.. young master.." I knew he was sad but I didn't look back, I ran straight to my room.