Only in My Dreams

Chapter 5

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I groaned and rolled over in my bed the next morning to turn off my alarm. It was Monday again and I, unfortunately, had to start getting ready for school.

After what only felt like a few seconds, I started getting up from my supine position on my bed 10 minutes later. I hurriedly got dressed and got downstairs to eat breakfast and make my lunch.

An hour later, I was out the door with my school stuff including my bassoon. I felt bad using gas but at this moment I was really thankful for being able to drive myself to school instead of riding the bus with a bunch of gits.

I turned on the car and it roared to life loud enough to wake up a whole neighborhood. Since I lived in the woods perpendicular to a busy road, the only person I had to worry about waking was my mom, which I knew was already up. Whenever I leave the house, to comfort both her and me, I go wake her up from her slumber to say goodbye as I'm leaving to go to school.

Ten minutes later I arrived at the school and walked to the cafeteria where Laura and I always met. I've never been much into talking to other people so my only close friend was her. I've always wished to have a big but close circle of friends, both girls and boys alike just like my brother had when he was in high school.

My brother, Jackson, has always been the person that I have been the most envious of. He's now in college doing exactly what he wanted to do and he's happy doing it. I, on the other hand, have no clue what I want to do as soon as I graduate high school. I'll just cross that bridge as soon as I get to it and hopefully don't waste money on a major in college that I don't even enjoy.

As soon as I spotted Laura at our usual table, I made my way over there. But something was different. Someone was there with her already. My heart started racing. I wasn't prepared to talk to anyone who wasn't Laura! I thought about turning around and sitting by myself busying myself with random frivolous activities but I decided to keep pursuing towards the table.

I couldn't see much of the strange person since they weren't facing me. All I knew was they had dark brown hair that was short in the back just like a typical boys' haircut. Behind their ears was what looked like the back of a pair of black glasses.

Oh no. I thought to myself. Is that who I think that is? My hands started shaking and sweating as if I was working out in a gym. Not cool.

As I rounded the table to stand by Laura, I got a full view of the mysterious person. I gulped. It was him. I put on a friendly face, smiling for both of them.

"Hey Melony! Look who decided to join us today, The Waiter!" Laura said enthusiastically.

I chuckled a little and Nolan looked at me smiling his welcome. "I see that. Hey Nolan. You go to school here?"

"Well yeah," he said. "I've been going here for a while but it's a pretty big school so I wouldn't be surprised if you've never seen me around." At that, he shrugged a little and smiled back towards Laura.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I've never seen you before!" I said kind of regretting it, wondering why I should really be sorry.

"Even if you guys have passed in the halls before she probably wouldn't notice because she tends to zone out a lot," Laura said. I blushed and glared at her.

Nolan laughed and said, "That's okay." He pauses and it's silent at our table. I took this time to get to my comfy position that I do when I'm uncomfortable. I sat back in my chair, crossing my legs and putting my arms in front of me with my head down staring at my feet. Then he said, "Well, I'm gonna go. Nice to see you, Laura and Melony. Hopefully, see you around." He got up, smiled down at Laura, and then walked away.

I started blushing again. He said my name and it made me feel good. It wasn't until later that I realized he mostly was looking at Laura. He looked at me a few times but not as much. Does he like Laura? Does he even know her? I see why he wouldn't want to talk to me or even look at me because I'm probably the most awkward person ever. Awkward with looks and with personality. I wouldn't be surprised if he liked Laura because she was beautiful, inside and out. With her long straight brown hair and straight white teeth, it's no wonder why boys have crushes on her all the time.

For some reason, I was upset thinking about him liking her. Jealousy raged throughout me thinking about him taking her on a date and having a great time.

***

Weeks later, every day before school, Nolan would come to our table to say hi. Sometimes he would stay to talk for a bit while other times he would walk away fairly quickly after saying hi. It was very clear that he was starting to develop feelings for Laura. I saw it on him every time he would smile and talk to her.

I on the other hand continued to develop feelings for Nolan. Every time he would come near, even in the hallway, I would trip. Either on my words or physically, embarrass myself. He would always laugh and move on while I would dwell on those miserable points of time in my life. Even when I knew he wasn't thinking about what I did a week ago, there was still that small percentage that he was still judging me for my weirdness.

My first few classes of today went okay. Boring as always so nothing spectacular. When I walked into the cafeteria for lunch, however, something was different. I didn't notice it at first until I saw Nolan and Laura sitting next to each other at a table with a bunch of other people. The familiar feeling of jealousy raged through me. I pushed it down as I walked up to the table and pulled up a chair next to Laura.

Everyone welcomed me to the table and said hi. I smiled and for once I feel like I had great acting skills with looking sincerely happy. Inside I had mixed feelings about the situation. Why did Laura not tell me we weren't meeting where we normally meet? Why did she not tell me we were going to sit next to a bunch of strangers? A feeling of guilt washed those questions out. She didn't need to tell me. She is her own person. I am just overreacting. I shouldn't be mad at her because she didn't do anything wrong, she just wanted to sit by Nolan today, which was fine. But then does that mean she doesn't like me anymore? By this simple action, did she try to hint to me that she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore? I do have a tendency to be really boring, especially because I am at a loss for words most of the time.

"Melony!" Someone sang to me. It was just a background song in my brain. I didn't really process where it was coming from until it happened a few more times. "Melony! You're doing that thing again. Melony! Earth to Melony!"

My head snapped up to look at the person speaking. "Huh? What?"

"You doing alright? You looked so depressed just now," Laura said looking concerned towards me.

"Oh... Uh yeah. Sorry. I'm just tired is all," I responded. "What were you saying?"

"Nothing. We just ended the conversation when I realized you seemed dead," She explained. I blushed and looked around the table. What I assumed were Nolan's friends who I recognized most of them from several of my classes, seemed sympathetic like they witness something depressing. It immediately went away as soon as I looked and all of them looked happy and content again.

I smiled and said, "I'm fine. Really. I just like to zone out a lot." I chuckled a little and the mood lightened up. We all started a conversation again and everything seemed light and breezy. I discovered I was growing to like Nolan's friends. They were all nice and funny and kept me engaged in the conversations. 

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Hey readers! Thank you for making it this far into the story!! I promise you, it will get better and my writing will improve. 

I have started to use this one website called 4thewords and it has really helped me with the word count on each chapter. I am starting to write more and get more creative so stick with me, please. 

Also if you like what you read, please comment, vote, and share! I'm always down for a conversation so feel free to message me on tips or literally anything! I am open-minded so don't be scared to point out my typos/grammar mistakes throughout these chapters and comment on something I should change to make the story better. 

Thank you for reading!

Cassandra Smith