Attached conflicts.

#3

Chapter 2:

*Flashback to the day it happened*

Today will be a day that I'll never be able to forget.

Shivers ran from my toes to the top of my spine. I couldn't take it. I can't face the people.

It was her day; the day when we all express our love. She died last night, we didn't do a funeral yet, we wanted to wait; I wanted to wait. I wasn't ready. I ran my fingers on the paper, I tried to express my love on that paper but if I'd write a thousand papers I won't be able to convey my love and gratitude.

I walked downstairs, poison filled the air. I couldn't breathe. The smell is suffocating. A tear slipped from my eyes. I had to stay strong, I had to show people that she left a strong girl behind her.

We arrived at the funeral. It's crowded, people are all sobbing and pretending that they knew her, but none of them do. No one of these people stood by her side when she was struggling, none of them helped her get through the disease.

People started coming my way when I arrived. They're expressing how sad they're. It's all full of sympathy. None of these people are sending signals of love. It's all about the sympathy.

I had to say a word, a word of love. If she's here she'll know what she meant to me, she'll know how my life without her would be worthless.

" I'm Laura, Sandy's daughter." I stopped to take a deep breathe, I can continue, I convinced my mind.

"My mom was the most caring person in this whole universe. She never cared about herself, it was all about the people around her, she always smiled, in her last days, she smiled, she'd say Laura take care of the people around you, they'll take care of you one day I'd always take this for granted and never pay attention to whatever she's saying. But mom, I know that you're right, I know that you were always right." I smiled with the thought of her smile. She was the most beautiful person in this whole universe. A tear slid down my face. I didn't stop the tears and I won't.

" People say that pain fades with time, but I know it won't. You were my sunshine, my best friend and most importantly my mother. You gave me everything I could ever ask for, all I wish for right now is to have you by my side, I want you to be here beside me everyday. Maybe that'll stop me from feeling worthless. Maybe it will. I love you so much. I hope that you're in a better place."

I could't stop the tears, I was broken; I'll always stay broken.

The thing is, I was alone. I'm terrified of being alone. The feeling itself hurts me deep inside. The thought about depression was never in my head. But right now, depression is the only choice I have, being lonely is the only choice I have. I was Laura, the happy outgoing girl, now I'm a ghost, a ghost that'll never have feeling, that'll never be happy again.

After saying goodbyes and receiving as much sympathy as one could take, I went home. Went to the haunted house. Not haunted with ghosts, it's haunted with fear, and depression; the fear of being alone, the fear of being afraid.

I couldn't sleep that night. I'll never be able to sleep; that's what I thought. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe the fear won't hunt me down and kill the rest of feeling I have. Maybe I'll be okay.

Although I knew that those 'maybes' will never be real. I was trying to help myself. No one can help me right? I only have myself and I'll always have myself. My haunted house, my room, my walls and the ghosts of fear.

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-Tasneeemk.