Black Moon

This is my first fanfic :) Please tell me what you think of it. Thank you :D

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    “Home sweet home.”

    I cast my charcoal eyes on Carlisle, watching indifferently as he and the rest of the family stared at our new lodgings. Though it was nothing compared to our former house, I certainly wasn’t going to admit it, especially in front of Esme. She’d graciously picked out the house, and even though she was just as fond of it as I was, it would certainly be rude of me to tell her so.

    Home sweet home. Home sweet home. I tried unsuccessfully to drill the phrase into my head, though flashes of my real home in Forks was the only thing that could surface upon speculation of the phrase. No matter how hard I tried, the saying was impossible to use on this house. As far as I was concerned, this was just “house sweet house.”

    Fortunately, because I was a vampire, my facial muscles didn’t instinctively contort to an expression of disgust. My eyes kept their same sullen dullness, but that of course had been present ever since we’d left home in Forks.

    Your fault. Your fault. Home sweet home, my brain taunted me. Or was it really my brain? I could’ve just been reading Rosalie’s thoughts, as she was glaring at me from the other side of Carlisle.

    “Any elk around here?” asked Emmet, trying to lighten the mood.

    “There should be. I picked this out specifically for the animals,” Esme said, her light tone ringing through the air. And for the distance, I added darkly in my mind. I knew she wouldn't even think to say that, however. Esme was tiptoeing around her now-broken son, her sweet Edward; the slightest slip could crack him. Then again, I bet that's what everyone thought.

    “Alright everyone. We have a bit of unpacking to do,” Carlisle said. “Let’s get started. If we move quickly, we could be done by sunset.”

    One by one, the vampires around me disappeared, their superspeed allowing them to look like they were never there at all. Everyone had left my side.

    Except for Alice.

    Her glowing amber eyes were full of apology as she timidly approached my side. Yes, I was definitely angry at Alice for not foreseeing this earlier, and there were many times after that where I wanted to scream at her, to yell and her and cry that this was all her fault.

    But I could never do that. As much as I wanted to believe that it was her fault, or Jasper’s fault, or anyone else’s fault, I knew that it was me who’d caused all of this.

    If you hadn’t let Alice throw that party…

    If you hadn’t allowed to fall in love with Bella…

    If you hadn’t talked to her that rainy day at Forks High School…

    It could be traced farther and farther back, but I knew that that was the root of my problem: I’d screwed up. I’d talked to Bella. I’d wanted to be nice. Now here I was, deep in the middle of who-knows-where, cursing myself out because for one second, just for one second, I’d let my guard slip.

    Stupid. Stupid.

    Alice put a warm hand on my shoulder and I broke my trance and looked at her. My eyes still retained their disgust but I showed no more emotion than that; I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be angry with Alice; I couldn’t.

    Everything will get better, you know, she thought to me.

    Your fault. Your fault, my brain hissed.

    I pressed my palm to my forehead, as if that would block out the self-loathing thoughts. Or maybe I did that to press out the bad memories. Alice, I knew, always used her predictions to give me hope. However, considering this statement was stereotypical and generic for the situation, I knew that she was lying. She’d seen my future, and she knew that it wasn’t going to pleasant.

    Of course, I didn’t need a psychic to tell me that. My life, despite being immortal, was over. I’d lost my fire, my sun, my Bella, and now the world cloaked me in darkness. It was nighttime now.

    And the moon was as black as my eyes.